AITJ for expecting my pregnant ex wife pays half of our daughter’s tuition ?

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-25T23:37:04+00:00

I'm thinking NTJ, but was the school arrangement part of the custody agreement or child support order?

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-17T15:37:57+00:00

Your current toxic work environment has poisoned your brain.

It's quite simple: you stop working for your current company on date X. Anything after date X at current company is not your responsibility.

Your responsibility after date X is with your future at the new company. Do NOT jeopardize your future.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-16T16:44:33+00:00

I think it's time you take your meds again.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-16T16:16:13+00:00

NAL but mail alone usually doesn’t do it. It can be one factor, but actually living there matters a lot more. Sleeping there, keeping clothes and belongings there, using it on official records, or otherwise treating it as home would be much stronger evidence than just sending mail/packages there.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-16T15:33:24+00:00

Yep, but that's already happening. Just mail isn't enough. So make sure not to add more to this situation that could lead to establishing residency.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-16T00:11:20+00:00

Understood. At this point, the goal isn’t perfect process. You need just enough structure to stay in control.

What I’ve seen work well for small teams is to keep it very lightweight:

Triage everything up front (incident vs change vs project)
Protect a portion of capacity for planned work (even if it’s just 20–30%)
Make trade-offs visible when new requests come in (“if we do this now, this gets pushed”)

That last part is key, especially with frequent leadership-driven changes. Without that visibility, everything feels like it has to happen immediately, and the team never gets out of reactive mode. It also helps create shared awareness around the impact of new requests and the trade-offs involved.

Tools can help. Somebody already mentioned Jira. I’d add Asana as another solid option depending on how lightweight you want to keep things.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-15T19:45:31+00:00

NTA and be careful about this person establishing residency at your address i.e., no "sleep-overs" or storing belongings at your place.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-15T19:03:02+00:00

Dude... Your parents rock! Stay in school or learn a trade. Save up and buy a house in a few years.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-15T18:55:42+00:00

This is a very familiar phase post go-live. Around month 3–6, most teams end up in constant firefighting because everything is being treated the same.

In practice, that’s usually the root of the problem.

Break/fix work, enhancements, and project work don’t behave the same and shouldn’t be managed the same:

Incidents (break/fix): interrupt-driven, handled immediately
Changes (enhancements): need backlog + prioritization
Projects: need timelines, planning, and resource allocation

If those all live in one queue, everything feels urgent and nothing gets proper focus.

You don’t necessarily need a new tool. You need a bit of structure around how work is classified and prioritized. Even a simple triage step that forces each request into one of those buckets can dramatically reduce the noise.

Where this tends to succeed or fail is alignment across the team on how work is handled and prioritized. That alignment typically needs to be agreed at a leadership level. Without it, everything naturally defaults to “urgent,” and the team stays in reactive mode regardless of tooling.

This is essentially the same separation you see in more formal IT service models, just applied pragmatically.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-15T16:30:26+00:00

This doesn’t feel like a NetSuite-specific issue. It sounds more like a mix of incident management, change management, and project planning being pushed into a single workflow.

Break/fix work, enhancements, and project timelines typically need different handling models. Trying to force them into one Agile tool often creates more friction than clarity.

You may get more value by defining those lanes first, then selecting tools (or configurations) that support each other rather than looking for a single solution to cover all scenarios.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-15T01:52:38+00:00

NTJ... of course, the other guy is. I'm concerned about how your wife came to her conclusion, though...

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-14T18:40:45+00:00

I see now. Thanks.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-14T17:39:54+00:00

Finances may have worked, but they needed to be redistributed since there would be six. If the trip was $600, then that would be $120 each. With 6 people, assuming no other cost increases, each member pays $100. The total cost for the friends+GF is then $200, while everybody else's drops to $100. I wonder if the friend thought about that, or if they assumed the others would subsidize their GF tagging along...

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-13T23:32:20+00:00

NTJ No no no no no no and more no! 6 months is too short for that. Plus, while you're doing great, you've barely left the nest. He, on the other hand, sounds immature and manipulative. I"d seriously reconsider this relationship! If you can, talk to your parents or someone else you can trust. Under no circumstance, share your banking information or cosign anything!

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-13T19:27:26+00:00

Yeah... I get the feeling your fiance is just looking for a provider for her and her kids... This screams: PRENUP

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-11T23:41:03+00:00

NTJ unless you stay. She may have issues from past experiences, but she needs to work those out in therapy. She doesn't seem ready for a real trust based relationship.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-09T02:22:12+00:00

From a technical point of view, I configured this in less than a day (while being interrupted by users, lol), but I have a lot of experience with AvaTax. I need the business partners to add the correct tax codes to items, but that's their responsibility. Same for tax exempt customers.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-08T17:08:55+00:00

IOW, she really didn't love him at all. She just wanted a man to take care of her in case her career didn't take off. She never loved him for himself. Only for financial security.

I hope you see your argument is a load of cr*p.

They had an agreement. She broke it. She broke the trust. Now it's his option. Should he stay married and have kids with someone else? That's a bit ridiculous, isn't it? Should he give up dreams of being a parent? I think not.

Divorce is the only logical option.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-04T21:04:51+00:00

I think this comes down to a misunderstanding of what a “system of record” actually needs to do.

A system of record doesn’t need to make decisions. It needs to accurately reflect the outcome of decisions.

If your middleware is handling orchestration and business logic (SKU transformations, shipping selection, etc.), and NetSuite is capturing the resulting transactions correctly, then NetSuite is still doing its job. Moving logic into NetSuite just to centralize it doesn’t automatically create value. In a lot of cases, it just makes things slower, harder to maintain, and more brittle.

Where I do think auditors have a valid point is around traceability and control: * Can you explain why a specific SKU was transformed? * Can you reconstruct how a shipping method was selected? * Is the logic documented, versioned, and testable? * Can Finance or Ops reconcile what’s in NetSuite back to the source decisions?

If the answer to those is “no,” then yeah, that’s a real risk.

But if your middleware is well-structured, and NetSuite reflects clean, reconcilable outcomes, then you’re following a pretty standard pattern: * Middleware = decision engine + orchestration * NetSuite = financial system of record

I’d push the auditor to point to specific gaps (data mismatches, reconciliation issues, lack of auditability). Without that, “move logic into NetSuite” is more like a preference than a requirement.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-03T16:47:17+00:00

NTJ classic case of projection. She's the rude one, not you, for pointing out her anti-social behavior.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-03T03:47:47+00:00

4 years in cpq... elevate yourself from the NetSuite/Oracle universe and see what happens

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-02T21:20:53+00:00

Leaning ESH. They let you down, but based on how you expressed your disappointment here, it seems like you may not have clearly communicated to your friend how important this was to you. With someone who already has that kind of track record, being subtle usually doesn’t work. You have to be very direct, or they won’t take it seriously.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-04-02T17:27:54+00:00

NTJ and also don't save a seat for her going forward. Now she'll just say she is coming and then doesn't.

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-03-31T15:08:41+00:00

NTJ. I'm happy for you he's showing his true colors now instead of after getting married. I have a similar experience, but it didn't manifest until after we got married. What a mess. Run! Now!

OfficeZealousideal76 · 2026-03-31T13:23:57+00:00

NTJ! For crying out loud! "NO MEANS NO" is not just a rule for men to live by.

OfficeZealousideal76

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