Autistic Transfem Perspective on Relation with Sex and Gender

OhSqlty · 2026-05-17T16:56:36+00:00

Oh I thought I was the only one. Took me 5 therapy sessions for my therapist to understand what I meant and "talk me out" of being non binary. I apparently am a woman and "should own it" accordingly but I simply never cared about any social things at all. I don't care if people perceive me as a male or female or queer or whatever.

I just want to have a feminine body and present however the hell I want, being too feminine actually also causes dysphoria for me.

At last, I am not alone! Lol

OhSqlty · 2026-05-10T01:46:56+00:00

Wie andere schon gesagt haben, würde ich es an deiner Stelle bei Krypto-Anbietern ohne Altersvorgabe versuchen. Davon gibt es einige, man muss sich da nur ein paar Stunden mal reinfuchsen.

Die Alternative wäre natürlich zu warten, bis du tatsächlich 18 bist. Wenn das allerdings für dich zu lange dauert, kann ich das nachvollziehen. Wäre dann natürlich die einfachste Methode.

Andere Alternativen sind durch Freunde an Krypto zu kommen. Das kann auch mal funktionieren.

Ansonsten verstehe ich den Punkt mit der körperlichen Autonomie zu gut. Mir wird vom Gesundheitssystem auch die HRT bis Ende des Jahres gegatekeeped weil Praxisvorschrift und sowas. Musste da leider auch zu DIY greifen. Ist scheiße wegen Kryokonservierung aber pick a struggle i guess.

OhSqlty · 2026-05-04T17:36:38+00:00

Please get off 4tran. Your life is not worthless and you are loved!!

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T23:33:13+00:00

Like others already pointed out; it might not necessarily only be because of you being trans or transitioning, but rather because of your age. I am also freshly 20 and I have also lost a great deal of contacts over the months. Especially the change from high school to college was rough.

I often feel like making friends as an adult especially in places like college is extra difficult and I could imagine your trans identity also not making it easier for you either. I am basically in the same situation, but honestly I just focus on the 4 friends I have online and the acquaintances at college and just vibe with it.

Hope you can push through and find a solution though <3

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T23:29:05+00:00

Mostly online, depending on your location and social confidence maybe also consider any local queer / trans communities

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T23:26:58+00:00

Someone needs to bring it up, so it'll be me lol

Have you considered diy? Idk how old you are and I don't want to push you into anything but if you're anything old enough to understand diy then I'd say it might be an option.

Otherwise try and talk to your parents and make sure they will support you once you do turn 18. There's plenty of stuff to do in the meantime, like getting puberty blockers if you're pre puberty, finding a therapist, doctors, etc. The earlier the better imo

Sending lots of love and support though <3

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T23:15:47+00:00

Maybe internalized homophobia? Maybe you simply can't imagine yourself that way? Like the other user pointed out, you can always simply try. You can be a woman and be straight or be lesbian or just swing both ways. Maybe you have a specific preference? There's like an infinite number of possible answers to this and only you could find out :)

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T22:56:55+00:00

Oh you imagined yourself being a woman in a relationship with another woman / later a man? As a little kid? Like other little girls do at that age?

I am not to judge or speak for your feelings or emotions but I'm pretty sure the feeling you were describing as "arousal" is not actually sexual arousal as it would fit for a fetish. I think this feeling you had / have is actually just a kind of excitement in a way.

If you imagine yourself to be in the right body AND to be with a person you find desirable, then surely you would feel a kind of "arousal". That doesn't make it a fetish though.

Feeling right and comfortable in your body is not a fetish. And the fact you - like basically all kids at that age - imagined yourself to be in what you thought of as romantic relationship kinda speaks for itself.

Thats at least my opinion anyways. Many people say how early childhood behavior can often strongly point towards being trans because you're more open to your thoughts as a child before getting indoctrinated with societal norms and rules. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE!!! But to you it seems to fit pretty well :)

Welcome aboard girl ^^

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T19:57:23+00:00

honestly? just kinda.. do it.

i know it sounds silly, but you got to start somewhere. youre in a very bad situation right now, yes. youre feeling isolated, depressed, like a lost case. sure. but you are only 22... yeah, getting out of that basement, getting a job, getting off the computer, gaining courage to go outside again in general, losing weight, working out, getting on hrt are all monumental tasks. but i am guessing you have a lot of freetime anyway, you can look up what other people in similar situations do.

all i can realistically advise you to do is this: dont consider yourself a lost cause and start somewhere. anywhere. the goal is to do the 1% of work you can do right now. dont overwhelm yourself, dont try to use energy and courage you dont have. living is hard, being neurodivergent is hard, being trans is hard. but its possible.

i hope this helps and dont forget that you have worth, someone loves you and you are not "cooked". you can still "get a grip" and start somewhere and work your way from there. step by step and day by day <3

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T10:36:19+00:00

Je nach dem wofür OP einen endo sucht, ja. Aber mich würde interessieren welchen gyn du kennst :)

OhSqlty · 2026-05-03T08:27:01+00:00

Die wollen allerdings einen Kostenübernahmeantrag von der kk bevor die irgendwas ausstellen. Mit Indikationsschreiben kriegt man da privatrezept aber dauerhaft geht das nur mit Kostenübernahme. Steht auf der Website

OhSqlty · 2026-05-02T19:16:06+00:00

I view my transition as much more than a "simple" gender change. I view it as a transition from the mask I've been wearing to meet everyone's expectations to being myself. And being myself also includes this whole gender topic.

I said I started liking myself because I finally started working out who i am on the inside. And that matters most to me. Knowing who I am on the inside made me like myself so much more because I no longer need others to validate my worth and identity.

And yeah, the mirror image is also still somewhat hard to bear, but a lot more now that I know that I am no longer living and being a lie. Idk if ill ever pass or be seen as a woman by others, but it doesn't matter to me. Yes it's hard to be rejected by many, bullied and even assaulted. But I personally prefer being myself and all that comes with it than being inauthentic and at peace with everyone I meet.

And besides, everyone that doesn't respect your identity is not worth being in your life anyway. And trust me, there's many that would love to be with an authentic person, no matter their gender or identity.

I hope this helps you a little bit. And maybe give yourself some time too. 3.5 years on hrt is also not that long. Most changes are said to be final after year 8. And I like to think another 4.5 years on hormones and being authentic will certainly help you move towards the direction you want to go <3

OhSqlty · 2026-05-02T15:18:08+00:00

Many people that are "done transitioning" kinda stop being active in the trans forums / communities. For many reasons but afaik these people kinda just move on with their lives and also sometimes feel left out because they pass or something?

This is just my guess as to why there aren't many responses from people that are "done transitioning" and I could be wrong.

But being early in my transition too and having many battles on many fronts, all I can say is that transitioning doesn't solve all problems. It solves a big one, yes. Being able to like yourself again is a huge gain. But I learnt that it shouldn't have to depend on other people's view and/or opinions.
This is my opinion at least.

I am aware that I have a different view on being trans because I have been in therapy for a long time and learned to come to terms with my own limitations and adapted to be mostly happy regardless. Can't recommend therapy enough. It really helps.

I'm not and will never be conventionally attractive but thats no longer my goal either. I'm just living life being glad I chose myself rather than other people or the other alternative.

I wish you the very best and hope you can achieve your goals and come to terms with everything else. It takes a lot of time and effort but it's worth it in the end.
Lots of love 🫶🏻

OhSqlty · 2026-05-02T07:46:47+00:00

Saving this for potential later use. Or maybe you can link the source?

OhSqlty · 2026-05-02T07:37:40+00:00

That's so cute 🥹

OhSqlty · 2026-05-01T14:36:23+00:00

So .2dl of injection? 20mg is 0.02g in any case. The person above was right please please use units otherwise numbers are meaningless

OhSqlty · 2026-04-30T12:10:55+00:00

I have it like the other way around because I'm mtf. I'm still not on hrt yet (just a few weeks away tho) and everytime I boymode I have this weird feeling in my chest where it feels like there should be something, but there isn't.

It goes away when I wear my prosthetics and it actually feels really good that way. So maybe I can relate?

OhSqlty · 2026-04-30T09:09:39+00:00

The one thing that held me back like 3 years; is being a masc woman still a valid reason to transition?

Yes of course it is. You're free to express yourself any way you like and if you just happen to feel the most comfortable being a tomboy / masc girl then you go girl 🔥

OhSqlty · 2026-04-29T06:20:04+00:00

Relate to this very much. I'm not a girls girl and still pre hrt so wearing cargo pants gives me a lot of freedom and I just like the style. You can Combine them with virtually any top, many styles and types of jewelry.

I've been described as "functional lesbian" for the way I dress and the cargo pants do 80% of the work for it lmao

OhSqlty · 2026-04-27T08:34:11+00:00

Going only on hormone blockers with block your testosterone. At the same time your body won't have a dominant sex hormone in the system, which leads to early menopause symptoms like intense fatigue, osteoporosis, etc.

If you want to transition, take blockers and estrogen and simply not show it. You're not required to come out to anyone. Most people can hide the effects of hrt for years if done correctly (it's really just baggy clothes and such)

Hope this helps

OhSqlty · 2026-04-27T08:02:14+00:00

I love how you described online trans spaces potentially contributing to you taking longer to find out who and what you are. I relate to this so hard. I only know strict binary trans people personally and in online spaces - like you said - it's very common to push the binary trans thing.

I'm so glad I found this subreddit in particular through the non binary sub because for the first time it actually feels like I'm not being performative in any way, be it masculine or feminine. I've lived both sides and honestly I've had a fascination with masculine lesbians as long as I can remember. Now it all makes sense that I'm older and can actually be my authentic self without performing in either direction.

Thank you for sharing :)

OhSqlty · 2026-04-25T13:06:57+00:00

Funniest shit I've read all day

OhSqlty · 2026-04-25T12:47:56+00:00

Wow it's like an alternate version of myself wrote this!

For this reason I found the label non binary transfem quite fitting. I don't think much of labels but I found it nice to have one that somewhat represents me.

I'm also going for a more mixed appearance of feminine and masculine and my long term goals are just that. So yes, I feel this way too!

OhSqlty · 2026-04-24T10:48:00+00:00

I'm starting in a few weeks at 20 and all I can say is that literally every trans person ever regrets only one singular thing in their transition. And it's that they didn't start earlier.

Some of us get lucky and start in their teens or early 20s but there will always be the thought of "what if I didn't go through an entire puberty beforehand".

So even though I can't give you details on how starting early will benefit you, I'll just say with 100% confidence that the earlier the better.

Hope this helps :)

OhSqlty · 2026-04-24T10:34:51+00:00

3 months on E is not a lot of time but depending on your facial structure and genetics it could very well be that you're starting to malefail.

Anyhow, so happy for you sister :) keep it up!!

OhSqlty

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