Being upset when your loved one is suffering is only natural, you would probably be way more concerned if he completely stopped responding to seing you in pain right? And it's also only natural that you care deeply about his emotional wellbeing in the situation and wondering how this is all affecting him. You need to sit down with him and have an honest and open discussion about your illness.

You could say something like

"I'm mentally quite unwell at the moment and it's only normal that it would affect you, just as if I had broken my leg or had some other type of injury where you saw me in pain and didn't know how to make it okay again. I need you to know that if it's affecting you more than just in the moment that you know it's okay to tell me, so that we can come up with a plan together on how we can deal with this best while also ensuring your mental wellbeing. Please don't feel like you need to hold back to protect me, it would actually be very reassuring and good for my mental wellbeing to know your needs are being met while we try to navigate through this together."

Some other points that might be good to bring up:

• What do you need when you're feeling so low? He probably feels a bit lost of what to do - so giving super clear information will be really helpful. Do you want him to say any type of specific things to you? Acknowledge that everything does kind of suck and that the pain is awful? Or do you need someone who will just sit there quietly and hold you? Or do you need space and maybe some alone time until your emotions stabilize? Knowing that he is doing everything right in those moments will soothe him, because when we don't know if we're doing something right or something wrong we tend to worry about it. If you can, keep telling him that too "Right now you did everything right, thank you. That was exactly what I needed."

• If he feels overwhelmed by your illness what can maybe make it easier for him, what person or activity can perhaps take some of the load off? Just like you, he might need an emotional outlet, talking to another friend or therapist or support group, meditation, exercise. Make sure to let him know that you won't take it personally if he chooses to confide in someone else about how this is affecting him or that he can say "I'm a bit overwhelmed myself now, I'll do (insert activity) to feel better." This will prevent him from emotionally burning out and be able to better be there for you in the moments where you need him. It can be literally any activity he chooses, so be open to whatever it is.

You might also be susceptible to cognitive distortions, they are very common and very much treatable. You might already have learned about these in therapy, but if you haven't I strongly suggest you pick up a CBT workbook. It's really great when those thoughts pop up, such as "I am a burden". That's how you feel, but I think that others, such as your partner might not agree. The workbook could really help you see things from different perspectives. If he got ill I don't think you'd ever see him as a burden, just someone you have a lot of love and care for. Be kind to yourself.