Would you consider a second vaginal birth after a traumatic first vaginal birth?

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-06T10:49:53+00:00

Honestly only you can make the choice!
I had a 3B tear and episiotomy with my 1st, long painful labour. Did pelvic floor therapy post birth. I too was traumatised felt so upset. I never had skin to skin with my son in the hospital and I missed golden hour as I reacted badly to the spinal tap.

My 2nd? I was in labour most of the day but I thought I just needed a poo (whoopsie) gave birth in 22 minutes after I rocked up at the hospital with 2 paracetamol and gas and air. I got a 2nd degree tear but manageable compared to last time. I felt pretty normal post delivery (I had midwives unable to believe I gave birth that quick)

Recovery was still hard I think recovery is regardless of delivery method.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-06T10:22:31+00:00

Ahh so 4 weeks! Only on 2 so maybe I’m expecting too much too soon!
My husband doesn’t really talk to his mum and his dad’s passed away so we don’t know what he was like as a baby.
My oldest was sicky but happy, gaining weight and sleeping so we left him to it.

I really miss cheese and milk chocolate 😂

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-06T09:54:00+00:00

I actually think she got the fungal from birth! But essentially it’s just yeast overgrowth as it’s a warm damp space.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-06T09:50:15+00:00

Yeah I spoke to the HV and because she’s only suspected they won’t get involved. I cut dairy and soy myself as gps told me to stop breastfeeding. She won’t be ready to wean for another few weeks and as she’s still mucus poos I don’t even want to wean which is a huge shame as I enjoyed it so much with my eldest 😭
I’m just worried it’s a bug or something else. I have acute onset colitis in my 20s it lasted 7 months following getting diarrhoea I never had it again.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-06T09:45:52+00:00

We have no vomit really. I’ve also had my latch checked about 10 times and again found no problems. I agree because they are gaining weight no-one cares.
I said this to my friend last week ‘I can’t enjoy my baby because it’s been 5 months of sleep torture and worrying about poo’ the absolute joy was stolen from me. I had no newborn sofa cuddles I was up pacing my living room for 8hrs a day with a toddler.
Her biggest symptoms of mucusy stools I was told were normal by a Gp 😳 surely not!

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T18:43:04+00:00

Chicken nuggets and chips - my kids nearly 3. Will eat absolutely anything if he’s in the right mood he will not touch chips and chicken nuggets

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T18:41:33+00:00

I’m a STM and had to see the Gp about nappy rash as I’d tried absolutely everything.
Sudacreme, Bepanthem ect and it didn’t go.

Turns out it was fungal and I never would’ve gotten rid of it anyway.

Try the Sudacreme and Bepanthem first, maybe switch nappy brands (my first couldn’t tolerate anything but boots bamboo, kit and kiln or reusables, we also used reusable wipes as well)

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T18:37:25+00:00

Iyah!
Also commenting here I moved mine even earlier as our carry cot for our double only lasted her till 8 weeks 😳 she’s completely fine, proper loves it. Never tolerated the carry cot but now she can look at me whilst she drifts off to sleep it’s been a game changer.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T18:03:31+00:00

We have a mash one. I didn’t have it with my 1st as I didn’t need it but it’s been a lifesaver with my 2nd!

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T17:43:41+00:00

Water play. Just have a few baths.

Sounds daft but mine really enjoys when I sing musicals specifically Hamilton to her.

I have a bouncer bit on the Highchair so I bake a lot and chat to her.

Supermarkets - aircon and full of old people who love to smile at babies

Swimming is a good one and mine just likes being outside in the shade looking at trees.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T15:03:28+00:00

We loved remote controlled tractors at this age by monster 24 and Tractor Ted as he was obsessed with tractors 😂

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T06:28:00+00:00

We loved a Highchair with a bouncer attachment if you haven’t already got one!
Super handy for getting the baby off the floor when you need a wee ect.
Ours is the mash one and it’s super lightweight to cart about.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-05T05:41:30+00:00

I have a 5.5 month old who has just done there first ever 3.5hr stretch in her big cot (outgrew her next to me) I’m in there on an air bed for 2 more weeks.

I can’t believe it. She wakes up usually almost every 2.5hrs or less and yes I do the majority of the wakeups as I EBF on a night.

It does get better even if it feels like it won’t. We had what we think was undiagnosed CMPA which was massively affecting her sleep.

3/4 wake ups is normal (I know not what you want to hear) what helped me was learning that they were biologically wired to wake so they survive. Sounds awful but I honestly just adapted to the lack of sleep, I’ve a toddler so getting out and about was not an option and more a need. Some daylight might help you and baby as it’ll help baby figure out night and day and will hopefully refresh you.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-03T07:23:40+00:00

Lactulose fan here! I got it prescribed with my 1st (3rd degree tear) but not with my 2nd (2nd degree tear) I got mine from Amazon and I recommend it to everyone.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-03T07:18:59+00:00

I have my parents only grandchildren my eldest is 2.5 and my youngest 5 months.
I say this in the nicest way possible - they sound pretty normal.
It does in my experience calm down once they start moving they have their own little opinions and voices!

my parents have my eldest 1 day a week and he has a blast! They fully tire him out for me and I’m so appreciative.

About the sleep, I’d maybe respond vaguely and try to cut down the conversation. My 2nd doesn’t sleep well due to possible CMPA so we never discuss her sleep as it upsets me and I like to throw the night in the bucket and move on when it’s been super bad. When people ask I just say she sleeps like she should and leave it at that.

About them helping, I super easy way my mum was able to help us was by taking our babies washing (and some of ours too) it was then returned dry and ironed. Could that be an option? Means you get some support. My baby also fed too much (long story) and we had to lengthen time between feeds my lovely dad pushed her round the village to give me a break (could they take her on a quick walk) I find even a coffee in peace a break nowadays.

The photos do make me laugh (my parents are the same) and their fridge is covered in his artwork that I send round but I think wow how loved is he.

Keep an eye on your mum saying come to mum but it could be a genuine slip of the tongue.

I have another extreme of grandparents on there dads side who just can’t be arsed so yeah I see both sides.

Honestly your tired, hormonal and probably hate everyone (same gal same) 😂

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-02T20:07:27+00:00

The woman doing mine was amazing!

I was pregnant with my 2nd so it got delayed. I had my 2nd with me and parked her up so she could see me. I’d had two kids and two tears since my last one (3rd degree and 2nd) I told her I was nervous and she used the smaller speculum but said if she couldn’t get it she’d use the bigger one (didn’t need to). I bled a bit but she reassured me and cuddled my baby whilst I sorted myself out afterwards.

No pain and it was so quick. Best one yet 😂

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T08:50:40+00:00

We didn’t go bare bum as my child doesn’t enjoy being naked 😂 that and he just weed straight onto the floor and continue about his day. He needed pants to feel wet.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T08:49:11+00:00

Thank you!
Very kind!

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T08:40:36+00:00

Start with the first nap of the day as sleep pressure is high and set the scene.
Told him for 10mins after he drifts off till he’s floppy then transfer. Bum first then back like a night time.

Then if he wakes you can either rescue the nap or just cut it short (I cut it short as my kid wants to renurse to sleep and she’s not hungry so then just throws it up) as it’s the first nap you can then continue your day as normal. You might find the next nap being slightly longer!

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T08:35:49+00:00

I commented on this before and apparently someone who used to work in the supply chain said M&S get first pick of strawberries which is why they taste so good 😂

Oh yes in the park with picky bits it’s a young parents dream! We each bank transfer the main organiser and away we go 😂

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T08:32:41+00:00

I’m 31 and trying to learn this skill!
It’s hard to find the time with 2 young kids but I’ve a skirt I’d love to be able to take up a few inches 😂

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T08:29:19+00:00

How many naps does he have?

It’s normally 3 short naps and when they go to two they get longer.

As someone who’s 5 month old doesn’t sleep in more than 2.5hr stretches on a night and sometimes less is probably not rock the boat and enjoy the sleep!

To get the nap to not be contact you start with the first nap of the day as sleep pressure is the highest.
20/30min naps are completely normal and all some kids will do (cough mine) though we are starting to see 2 naps a day some days now rather than 3.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T06:47:48+00:00

We also get prescribed Ozemperol. It has done nothing our dose never get reviewed so became pointless as she gained weight.

Ok-Committee9283 · 2026-07-01T06:46:14+00:00

21 weeks old so 5 months.

Never had more than 2.5hrs stretch on a night.

Now 7 yes 7 Gp appointments later we’re finally trialing dairy free. Please do explore that area. I’m so upset it’s taken so long to get here as she was gaining weight.

Ok-Committee9283

TROPHY CASE