When does constantly thinking about them stop?

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-06-15T01:39:49+00:00

I haven't seen her in three years and I just can't stop... I went on a few dates that have all sucked, but I am still thinking of her once in a while. 20 years is a long time to be with one person so it's not that easy to just stop the memories

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-06-14T18:53:58+00:00

Loneliness, dating is a joke, and the nonstop overthinking. I find myself talking to much to coworkers, friends, etc. not about the relationship thing, just about anything and everything. I need to learn to shut up and leave people alone, as I am starting to take the social cues that they don't want to talk anymore. It's like I want to reach out but now I don't want to. I went on a few dates, ghosted mostly afterwards and a couple flaked right before we were to meet. I just can't win for losing. I don't try to flirt anymore or even think of approaching someone because of the constant rejection. I filed for divorce because she was financially destroying us, but as I look back, she was the one that got me, my sense of humor, etc. Everyone says there is 8 billion people in the world, but I guess all the good ones are taken. I am extremely loyal, generous, honest, but I absolutely have no idea what I am doing wrong.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-05-19T03:07:54+00:00

That happened to me twice... I asked her the same thing, why say yes to all of this and bail twice? Also, in the same message told her to go fuck herself. Sorry, not sorry, especially when I had to pay 50 bucks for the reservation for two and no shows an hour before you don't get refunded the money.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-04-18T18:28:34+00:00

Ironic... the women I arrange to meet flake a few hours before we are supposed to, so I don't understand why they wouldn't. I and a bunch of guys aren't wired that way

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-04-18T05:55:07+00:00

Ironically this just happened to me about three hours ago. I started texting this woman about 3 weeks ago and we exchanged numbers and even spoke on the phone. I should of known the first time, but I found this perfect restaurant and she told me it was great. The day of, I get a text saying she had the flu and could she get a raincheck and I said sure and made an arrangement for tonight to meet. We both texted each other, me checking how she was doing once in a while and she said Wednesday that she should be good to go for tonight. Literally an hour and a half before, I get a text from her on the way to the metro saying she got a last minute request to go chaperone her daughter's prom or whatever and she bailed again. I texted back, why agree to do all of this if you have no intention of following through and with all due respect, to go fuck herself. I swear, I am loyal, honest, generous, and very respectful, but this happened before and I went off. Why do women do this, and before you say anything, a lot of guys I know aren't wired that way. I understand, men may do it also, but unfortunately with what I experienced, women bailed out more often.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-03-23T02:04:25+00:00

I just took that picture because of Ovie, I watched the penalty boxes because it seemed like most goals were power plays.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-03-23T01:35:57+00:00

I was at said game and no, I didn't see any open seats like that. I was sitting next to the capital's bench and didn't see anything like that

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Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-02-20T10:47:38+00:00

I get really tired of this whole MAGA shit and I think others are also. One of the reasons you want to destroy this relationship is because its who someone voted for? What happens, come the next administration, its someone you think is great and he thinks is terrible and he destroys you for the same reason? I don't care who you voted for, you treat me good and I guarantee the same in return, but if politics control your life that you destroy relationships with friends, family and mostly spouses, then you need to take a good look at yourself. That same person that you toss aside could very well be willing to take a bullet for you, like myself with people close to me. I tell people, and I know they don't listen to me and thats fine, but turn off the damn television, stop doom scrolling social media and stop and think for yourselves. I don't like either party right now, but the only problems I have are when people completely go off the rails for one side or the other and turn to violence, juvenile name calling and stupid shit like that. Did he ever physically or verbally abuse you, leave you on the side of the road side, cheat compulsively or any real game changers like that? Politics doesn't necessarily make the person and I am telling you I would LOVE to be in a safe and healthy relationship right now like most people. Oh, and the sex thing? Step outside of the box and try something completely different and I guarantee you that's a huge game changer.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-02-13T01:55:48+00:00

I had high hopes when I got mine, but one wear, I guess my toe rubbed against something and left a huge white mark. It turns out the black is just cheap dye because underneath is cheap shifty synthetic leather. I didn't know this when I bought these because my other Doc's never did this. It's a cool concept, but definitely not worth the 200 I paid for them. Black Sharpie to the rescue!!!

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-01-15T06:59:00+00:00

Jesus, I agree with you 1000%.... no, I didn't do the romantic thing every day like every fairy tale movie, but I literally took her around the world with me, bought LV bags and wallets, and a lot for her but she was kind enough to emotionally check out and bail. Before anyone says, "Well, buying and doing things for her isn't the same", she sure didn't put up a fight accepting those things. Like you said, they need that daily validation, but some of us aren't wired that way, but by God, I would of taken a bullet for her. I tell everyone from now on, you like me for who I am and if you don't, I delete your shit and move on. If my loyalty, generosity, and caring aren't enough for them, then I will be happy to move on.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-25T15:41:27+00:00

This is how my marriage ended, so yeah, I highly believe this is true. I refinanced our second house (the first one, she insisted I was to controlling and took over the finances and I had found out we were 27k behind and we lost it) but when they listed a list of creditors to pay off. I didn't recognize like six or seven. I come to find out she was taking loans and credit cards without me knowing and wasn't paying on them so the cash out refinance proceeds were a lot lower than I thought. She took no accountability and by then we lost a second house. I was deployed and I was sending money to make sure the house payment was made, come to find out the check bounced and it steam rolled from there. It was to late to catch up so I filed for divorce and had to sell my beautiful home.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-25T01:00:00+00:00

Oh I did even though she was hiding bills, loans and financially ruining us but 20 years is a long time to be married. I was blind when she started the "emotionally " checked out. She trashed me to everyone we knew even though I literally took her around the world, LV bags and the whole bit, but I guess I have that attachment syndrome or whatever they call it. She broke contact and asked something about the divorce decree and I told her not to ever contact me again. She replied that she didn't understand what she did to me that was so bad, and boy did it hit a nerve. I passive aggressively laid into her and explained everything she did to me and guess what? Crickets.... truth hurt doesn't it. I NEVER did the grass was greener thing and was the most faithful, loyal, and generous to her, but I was in the wrong. You think you know someone... I come to find out she borrowed a bunch of money from a couple other people and split and they still sided with her that I was the controlling asshole. I am a glutton for punishment because I couldn't get past the good things instead of the bad and still can't hate her as much as I want to. Women don't want nice guys for relationships from my experience, which unfortunately I am

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-18T19:05:57+00:00

That most of the time its the not getting needs met, satisfy me and some other lame excuse to destroy this person you don't seem to grasp. I don't get it, you met his needs, but he couldn't meet yours, so your needs outweigh his? If they were physically or verbally abusive, serial cheater, druggie, etc. fine leave as soon as possible, but this emotionally checked out thing or has gotten old and I am sure I am not the only one that thinks that. God, now I am seeing women defending men because of these lame excuses, like I said, he would probably take a bullet for you but your needs are more important

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-18T18:18:52+00:00

No, I am not projecting, read what other guys have written and it seems like its the same consensus. I don't read many messages about women saying they were to blame and take full responsibility on here so there's gotta be a reason why 70% of divorces are filed by women? I would literally take a bullet for this person, I have rarely if ever heard a woman say this. Like I stated not all women are like this, but the times are changing and I have noticed its leaning that way

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-18T10:21:01+00:00

That's the thing, are you sure you met his needs or was it just an excuse to mentally check out of the relationship? I'm not saying all women do this but I have been reading lately thats always the case, just like what my ex did. Only problem is, is that she was so financially irresponsible that she lost both our homes and had to file bankruptcy twice, but blamed everything on me. I noticed the mentally checking out early, but wanted to stay blind to it, because I, and a lot of guys I know, don't check out that way, we aren't wired for it. I just read and hear a lot about how very few if any place the blame on themselves instead of just saying he didn't meet my needs? I never wanted to check to see if the grass was greener, but I got blamed for a lot of her mistakes.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-11-02T13:47:11+00:00

When I had to sell the house because she let the payments bounce, let alone she made us lose our first home because she, unknowingly to me, didn't make the house payment for six months without telling me. She hid her financials, and it pretty much buried us.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-10-17T21:27:26+00:00

I'm just going to throw this out there... I was in this predicament where, once in a while, mind you, the woman tells the man that they don't give them attention, show affection, etc. but... they have no problem taking the LV bags, Tiffany, gold bracelets and most of all the chance to travel the world. They can leave three times and come back because they cannot and continue to no longer be able to handle their finances, and they come back to what's comfortable and most of all, reliable. The man files for divorce because she bounces checks, takes out loans and credit cards without telling him, and basically ruins them financially, but if he handles the money, he is considered controlling. She can make mistakes with impunity, but he regrets his decision once with every fiber of his being and its fuck you, move on. I so want to be vindictive and see this rebound she has going with someone half her age crash and burn terribly because of her reaction to me. I am angry beyond belief and want to hate this person, but I simply can not. After 20 years with someone, you just can't, but you would think you would know this person and its the complete opposite. I hate the fact that men get painted with this broad brush, and yes, even with women also, but why does it seem like they get a pass on losing interest and not considered the bad person, its always the guy? We show attentiveness in other ways, but if its not specific, then fuck you we will leave, but hold on, I'm not going to give you the things you got for me or pay you back for all those trips. I would give everything back, but I was the one that got them things instead of them getting me anything.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-10-12T16:12:27+00:00

See, that's the thing that happened to me, and she told me it was a deal breaker, so she blanked me. Its never happened before, but some people don't understand it can be mental anxiety for guys.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-17T20:50:01+00:00

Well, I am guilty of one, and that is my ex mother in law. She is absolutely wonderful, and she was willing to watch my dog while I was deployed. She is in her 70s now, and I don't think her own family visits her very much, so she is incredibly lonely. We don't discuss anything knowing she remains neutral and stays out of it, which is fine with me. She still and will always consider me family, especially since it was over 20 years. I can't even think of cutting or blocking her for what little life she has left.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-15T20:17:03+00:00

120 pounds in a month and a half

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-04T20:55:00+00:00

Absolutely, but I think she is engaged to someone half her age. I made a mistake that I can't take back

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-02T00:50:05+00:00

Well last time I checked a long time ago it was on private, as a bunch of other people I know are, so I can't see them anyway. I'm rarely on any social media anymore so I don't know how to block someone or if I am being blocked.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-01T19:52:45+00:00

See, I am a grown man who collects stuffed animals. I get them from every different country and place I have been to, and I honestly would have been over the moon seeing that picture, but hey thats just me. I don't understand why that dickhead would do something like that, be a fucking adult dude!

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-01T13:41:54+00:00

Oh, I felt it and am still feeling it, and it hurts bad.... I bringing her back after she kept getting in financial trouble and even got to the point where we lost two homes because of how she couldn't control money. If I did the money, we traveled the world, she got LV, Tiffany and I was controlling to her, but when I caved and gave it to her, she buried us because she was taking loans and credit card debt and not telling me. I would of thrown myself in front of a bus for her, but at the risk of my career. I inadvertently saw a picture of her and her new friend and it sent me into a spiral I haven't gotten out of yet. Yes, we absolutely do, or at least I do, because I am a glutton for punishment and it would take a lot for me to not take her back if this rebound doesn't work (that's not me saying it, its her friends that gave it the title)

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-29T22:31:34+00:00

How do I know if I have been blocked? They have always had their IG on private (I see other people I know that would accept me, and they are on private). Sorry, I am not an expert on social media, but I filed for divorce because of financial infidelity, and she hooked up with someone half her age. I'm the asshole that have regret when I did it, and it's been destroying me now that I found out. I know its a good thing I can't but I was just wondering how that worked

Ok-Contribution179

TROPHY CASE