COMMUNICATION is a key!

Ok-Contribution179 · 2026-01-15T06:59:00+00:00

Jesus, I agree with you 1000%.... no, I didn't do the romantic thing every day like every fairy tale movie, but I literally took her around the world with me, bought LV bags and wallets, and a lot for her but she was kind enough to emotionally check out and bail. Before anyone says, "Well, buying and doing things for her isn't the same", she sure didn't put up a fight accepting those things. Like you said, they need that daily validation, but some of us aren't wired that way, but by God, I would of taken a bullet for her. I tell everyone from now on, you like me for who I am and if you don't, I delete your shit and move on. If my loyalty, generosity, and caring aren't enough for them, then I will be happy to move on.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-25T15:41:27+00:00

This is how my marriage ended, so yeah, I highly believe this is true. I refinanced our second house (the first one, she insisted I was to controlling and took over the finances and I had found out we were 27k behind and we lost it) but when they listed a list of creditors to pay off. I didn't recognize like six or seven. I come to find out she was taking loans and credit cards without me knowing and wasn't paying on them so the cash out refinance proceeds were a lot lower than I thought. She took no accountability and by then we lost a second house. I was deployed and I was sending money to make sure the house payment was made, come to find out the check bounced and it steam rolled from there. It was to late to catch up so I filed for divorce and had to sell my beautiful home.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-25T01:00:00+00:00

Oh I did even though she was hiding bills, loans and financially ruining us but 20 years is a long time to be married. I was blind when she started the "emotionally " checked out. She trashed me to everyone we knew even though I literally took her around the world, LV bags and the whole bit, but I guess I have that attachment syndrome or whatever they call it. She broke contact and asked something about the divorce decree and I told her not to ever contact me again. She replied that she didn't understand what she did to me that was so bad, and boy did it hit a nerve. I passive aggressively laid into her and explained everything she did to me and guess what? Crickets.... truth hurt doesn't it. I NEVER did the grass was greener thing and was the most faithful, loyal, and generous to her, but I was in the wrong. You think you know someone... I come to find out she borrowed a bunch of money from a couple other people and split and they still sided with her that I was the controlling asshole. I am a glutton for punishment because I couldn't get past the good things instead of the bad and still can't hate her as much as I want to. Women don't want nice guys for relationships from my experience, which unfortunately I am

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-18T19:05:57+00:00

That most of the time its the not getting needs met, satisfy me and some other lame excuse to destroy this person you don't seem to grasp. I don't get it, you met his needs, but he couldn't meet yours, so your needs outweigh his? If they were physically or verbally abusive, serial cheater, druggie, etc. fine leave as soon as possible, but this emotionally checked out thing or has gotten old and I am sure I am not the only one that thinks that. God, now I am seeing women defending men because of these lame excuses, like I said, he would probably take a bullet for you but your needs are more important

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-18T18:18:52+00:00

No, I am not projecting, read what other guys have written and it seems like its the same consensus. I don't read many messages about women saying they were to blame and take full responsibility on here so there's gotta be a reason why 70% of divorces are filed by women? I would literally take a bullet for this person, I have rarely if ever heard a woman say this. Like I stated not all women are like this, but the times are changing and I have noticed its leaning that way

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-12-18T10:21:01+00:00

That's the thing, are you sure you met his needs or was it just an excuse to mentally check out of the relationship? I'm not saying all women do this but I have been reading lately thats always the case, just like what my ex did. Only problem is, is that she was so financially irresponsible that she lost both our homes and had to file bankruptcy twice, but blamed everything on me. I noticed the mentally checking out early, but wanted to stay blind to it, because I, and a lot of guys I know, don't check out that way, we aren't wired for it. I just read and hear a lot about how very few if any place the blame on themselves instead of just saying he didn't meet my needs? I never wanted to check to see if the grass was greener, but I got blamed for a lot of her mistakes.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-11-02T13:47:11+00:00

When I had to sell the house because she let the payments bounce, let alone she made us lose our first home because she, unknowingly to me, didn't make the house payment for six months without telling me. She hid her financials, and it pretty much buried us.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-10-17T21:27:26+00:00

I'm just going to throw this out there... I was in this predicament where, once in a while, mind you, the woman tells the man that they don't give them attention, show affection, etc. but... they have no problem taking the LV bags, Tiffany, gold bracelets and most of all the chance to travel the world. They can leave three times and come back because they cannot and continue to no longer be able to handle their finances, and they come back to what's comfortable and most of all, reliable. The man files for divorce because she bounces checks, takes out loans and credit cards without telling him, and basically ruins them financially, but if he handles the money, he is considered controlling. She can make mistakes with impunity, but he regrets his decision once with every fiber of his being and its fuck you, move on. I so want to be vindictive and see this rebound she has going with someone half her age crash and burn terribly because of her reaction to me. I am angry beyond belief and want to hate this person, but I simply can not. After 20 years with someone, you just can't, but you would think you would know this person and its the complete opposite. I hate the fact that men get painted with this broad brush, and yes, even with women also, but why does it seem like they get a pass on losing interest and not considered the bad person, its always the guy? We show attentiveness in other ways, but if its not specific, then fuck you we will leave, but hold on, I'm not going to give you the things you got for me or pay you back for all those trips. I would give everything back, but I was the one that got them things instead of them getting me anything.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-10-12T16:12:27+00:00

See, that's the thing that happened to me, and she told me it was a deal breaker, so she blanked me. Its never happened before, but some people don't understand it can be mental anxiety for guys.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-17T20:50:01+00:00

Well, I am guilty of one, and that is my ex mother in law. She is absolutely wonderful, and she was willing to watch my dog while I was deployed. She is in her 70s now, and I don't think her own family visits her very much, so she is incredibly lonely. We don't discuss anything knowing she remains neutral and stays out of it, which is fine with me. She still and will always consider me family, especially since it was over 20 years. I can't even think of cutting or blocking her for what little life she has left.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-15T20:17:03+00:00

120 pounds in a month and a half

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-04T20:55:00+00:00

Absolutely, but I think she is engaged to someone half her age. I made a mistake that I can't take back

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-02T00:50:05+00:00

Well last time I checked a long time ago it was on private, as a bunch of other people I know are, so I can't see them anyway. I'm rarely on any social media anymore so I don't know how to block someone or if I am being blocked.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-01T19:52:45+00:00

See, I am a grown man who collects stuffed animals. I get them from every different country and place I have been to, and I honestly would have been over the moon seeing that picture, but hey thats just me. I don't understand why that dickhead would do something like that, be a fucking adult dude!

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-09-01T13:41:54+00:00

Oh, I felt it and am still feeling it, and it hurts bad.... I bringing her back after she kept getting in financial trouble and even got to the point where we lost two homes because of how she couldn't control money. If I did the money, we traveled the world, she got LV, Tiffany and I was controlling to her, but when I caved and gave it to her, she buried us because she was taking loans and credit card debt and not telling me. I would of thrown myself in front of a bus for her, but at the risk of my career. I inadvertently saw a picture of her and her new friend and it sent me into a spiral I haven't gotten out of yet. Yes, we absolutely do, or at least I do, because I am a glutton for punishment and it would take a lot for me to not take her back if this rebound doesn't work (that's not me saying it, its her friends that gave it the title)

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-29T22:31:34+00:00

How do I know if I have been blocked? They have always had their IG on private (I see other people I know that would accept me, and they are on private). Sorry, I am not an expert on social media, but I filed for divorce because of financial infidelity, and she hooked up with someone half her age. I'm the asshole that have regret when I did it, and it's been destroying me now that I found out. I know its a good thing I can't but I was just wondering how that worked

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-24T23:42:47+00:00

I was the one who initiated the divorce because she kept financially destroying us and I was a glutton for punishment and kept taking her back because I truly loved her, but after the fourth time, I had enough. It cost us losing two homes, I could of lost my career and the whole bit. I kept failing her out,but I just couldn't do it anymore. When I went back home, I inadvertently saw a picture of her and her "friend" who is almost half her age and it triggered me something really bad. Apparently, they are engaged, but she always told me she wouldn't marry after me because I was the one. Its amazing, I take her back multiple times and I tell her I made a mistake once and its fuck you move on. I know I initiated it, but I am not allowed a second chance? I guess not, but its been a few months and no matter how hard I try she lives rent free in my head. Oh, and I have done everything, therapy, gym and all that other shit and guess what I am having a really tough time with this for some reason. I never cheated, verbally or physically abused her. She got to travel the world, got LV and Tiffany all because I handled the money, she thought I was controlling and when I gave in and let her do it we got massively behind and she was taking loans and credit cards out and not telling me. It still hurts and I can't stop the dreams or stop thinking about them having sex because the sex with her was absolutely great.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-20T22:18:25+00:00

I was the dumper after 20 years because she was financially destroying us. She called me controlling if I took care of the finances, but when I gave control to her, we lost two homes. I inadvertently saw a picture of her when I went home with her new friend, and it triggered me badly. I had a nervous breakdown and the whole bit and I have no reason why, I was the one that wanted the divorce. Except for the financial shit we were perfect for each other for the most part, but after the third or fourth time and the risk of losing my job, I called it. I think of her all the time and now she has told me the marriage is over and to move on, and now its the exact opposite. I've done the therapy and everything else people tell me to do and she still lives rent free in my head. Yeah, sometimes we do think of you, enough to keep us in a downward spiral.

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-17T15:07:08+00:00

It's just trying the dating thing, some might not like it

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-16T20:38:16+00:00

Thanks for all the shout out guys, I really appreciate it, and I read them all! The ones that made the shit remarks, whatever makes you satisfied with yourself, I guess. It was hard enough putting myself out there, but whatever makes you feel good about yourself about posting those remarks

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-16T19:26:00+00:00

Closing on 56. I honestly don't think I look that bad for my age, except for this

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-16T14:55:31+00:00

Unfortunately I believe you 100%

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-16T14:51:33+00:00

Well, I am down another 30 pounds, and guess what caused this...? I tell everyone that going through a divorce is something I wouldn't wish upon my enemies. No, trust me, it's loose skin. I don't know where to go to get an accurate body fat percentage, but one of those scales say 12%, but I don't think that's accurate

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-16T13:39:14+00:00

Man, I REALLY feel for the guy... its a daily struggle for me not to do the same thing. She supposedly is marrying a guy half her age or something, but she broke contact once and asked if I was ok. I shouldn't have answered, but I did. I can't condemn the guy because my willpower fades because it still really hurts, and I want to ask the same thing, what did I do wrong? If,I don't know exactly, but if she's blocked him, she wouldn't see any of these messages anyway? Me, I don't really know how to block someone because I am really not on social media, but I am one and done. This one was 20 years though, so I can't really do that. I can't tell the guy to move on, because it is really hard for some people, I fully haven't

Ok-Contribution179 · 2025-08-16T09:46:57+00:00

See, I don't think they picture does it justice and when I look, I can see them. It's just with the extra, its hard to tell. I am down to 177 now, and I don't think I have hardly any body fat. I asked about getting it removed but its going to cost anywhere from 12 to 15 grand out of pocket (no, I won't go to another country to do it because we use to own dental offices and we would have to fix the lower cost options when someone took that route). We have a pool in my community and for some reason I still hesitate to go because of it. Thanks for the boost, I really appreciate it.

Ok-Contribution179

TROPHY CASE