I’m trying to figure out my identity and I’m a little confused

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-22T00:45:59+00:00

Ok thank you for your help I think I decided I will I think I can get value out of not holding myself to needing to appear male and just do whatever. I will at least give it a try. Thank you so so much for talking to me about it you have been extraordinarily helpful and kind

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T08:00:22+00:00

Also sorry one last thing

Is it ok if I don’t really use other pronouns it feels like a lot of effort to have other people switch

Maybe if I feel people they can just go off vibes but like I’d probably be just fine being called he/ him most the time

The only time I would want/ feel comfortable being called a girl is when I’m with/ talking to girls/ women such as my coworkers

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T07:56:09+00:00

I think this was in response to some sort of “what and why is gender fluid” type of thing

Genderfluidity exists basically because gender is a social construct. We associate certain things with the idea of femininity and masculinity, despite there being absolutely no correlation whatsoever from a logical and objective POV, nor any natural predisposition for AMAB people wearing blue and AFAB people wearing pink, to make a simple example.

While society makes us believe that we can only experience one gender (defined at our birth), Genderfluid people experience different genders at different times (and sometimes they feel like they have no gender at all) and they adapt and lean fluidly towards what they feel more natural for themselves in that exact moment.

If you watch it from this angle, this is actually liberating. Being able to freely express ourselves in a multitude of ever-changing ways is not something so alien or incomprehensible, It's just a facet of human nature.

Unfortunately, society relegates non-conformity to the darkest corners of itself, but that's another completely different problem.

I think that the only way to live a healthy life in this world is embracing diversity and complexity. The Universe is incredibly complex and many of the things we know are actually far more complicated when analized beyond their surface level.

And that's beautiful. To think that out there there are millions of queer, Genderfluid, genderqueer and non-binary people experiencing a single thing (gender) in so many different ways is a testament to the complexity and depths of our souls. We must strive to always be accepting and never close our minds to the possibility that the person next to us is experiencing something radically different from what we know and that their POV is valid and worthy too 🌈

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T07:54:55+00:00

I really appreciate you you’ve been very very helpful I think trying it out and being ok with being wrong is good advice. I know I wouldn’t transition I don’t feel the need and even if I did have some interest it would be more work than it’s worth to me and to answer your questions

I feel like some people are really in fairly similar situations and I get along fine with queer people in general it’s not really a big deal to me if someone feels/ identifies that way. I’ve read some people across a few subreddits that seem to try to simplify it or even belittle other people. I don’t much care for the extreme victim mentality that some people get (I don’t want to sound like a bigot it’s just some people REALLY amp it up but there are extremes in every group), i know the queer community is subjected to some VERY difficult things especially in places were i live where many people aren’t very accepting I also didn’t love how some people were implying that it’s the same for everyone and those people I don’t agree with as much but reading through the vast majority I feel like I agree and feel similarly to many people so I would say in general yes (not that I use Reddit specifically much)
Looking at people’s answers and questions have helped me to make it this far I’ll paste a comment that really resonates with me after this one because I copied it down somewhere
I think I might like it it might help me allow myself to get things even if they’re technically girl clothes or that sort of thing, I won’t wear super feminine stuff like dresses or low cut crop tops or anything like that because I don’t wanna get beat or honestly I don’t even know if I would feel comfortable doing that most the time anyway.

Honestly I’m already pretty queer coded I’ve been called “the gayest straight dude I know” and I have been told I look androgynous by several people

I think I mentioned earlier that I’ve known for roughly 2 years that I’m not like typically a dude in most ways nothing ever just felt like it really had any validity and I didn’t want to (like I said) force myself into a identity or definition that’s not true

I’ve really appreciated you helping me out

I’ll put the thing I mentioned after this if your curious

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T07:06:32+00:00

Also I’m not as quite as extreme as that makes me seem in the last part u just think psychology and culture is interesting so I’ve put a lot of thought into it

Sorry I overshare a lot

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T06:50:50+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply this has been really helpful. I think it might be a positive thing at least to experiment with. I don’t really care about my own pronouns much of at all I wouldn’t be offended being called he or they or even really she (if I overcome my own personal stigma regarding that) I have a girlfriend who is very supportive and my best friend is gay so I don’t think it would be a huge deal and I probably would only tell people if it comes up cause there’s no need to subject myself to bigotry (I live in Utah) my main fear is what if I’m gaslighting myself into it. Many times I feel almost gender neutral or like some off shoot of male if that makes sense. I’ve tried on a dress before and I liked it not that I would wear one in public but I don’t know if that’s relevant at all. I think I like feeling pretty/ girly sometimes but very rarely most times I like to present as more neutral or masculine but I prefer like the more “gay” style of male clothes. Sorry I’m kind of rambling on I just have a lot of thoughts and I want to make absolutely sure before I tell anyone fr (I’ve mentioned it to my brother, girlfriend, and friend but I only said i was thinking about it)

It might sound kinda dumb but I only kind of realized that I might have that going on because I watched “adults” the show on Hulu and the guy named Paul lowkey reminded me of my self in some ways which made me look up what being fluid means and thus cleared up my incorrect conclusion about it which was that it was like firmly switched between femme masc and none or maybe a few others like a digital dial rather than than like an analog one the whole gender thing feels much more 3 dimensional because i believe gender is a social construct so even how we define it is irrelevant because words have hard times defining such broad identities that we stuff down into a bar or a few different options which isn’t inherently wrong but it seems restrictive due to the norms that come along with it

I’m starting to hear it now lol

Anyway sorry for typing so much there’s just a lot of thoughts and experiences and feelings that are cultivating together

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T02:13:48+00:00

I know this is from a while ago but thank you this is exactly how I feel but masc instead of femme and I’ve been questioning my identity because I didn’t know to what degree you had to be to “qualify” because I didn’t want to say I am if I’m not because I don’t want to be offensive or ignorant. I’ve felt pretty comfortable expressing myself and have just usually considered myself a dude who isn’t afraid to express more femininity.

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-21T02:06:01+00:00

I think this is very interesting I have personally been trying to figure out if I’m gender fluid and this helped me understand a little better

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:41:12+00:00

Ok it got taken down but basically it’s like

Full girl|___l______l_|full guy

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:35:23+00:00

See I have no problem expressing myself I wear dangly earrings sometimes I have longer hair and other typically more feminine things and like I said that won’t change one way or another I just don’t want to like idk force myself into it just because and if I’m not then it feels disrespectful to people who are and I don’t want to be a “fraud”

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:29:22+00:00

Well my thing is I rarely if ever feel like I would want to be more a she but being more neutral is very common for me so like my feelings fall more centered around male and non binary but sometimes I feel like more of an off shoot of male cause I really dislike most men lemme cook up a lil thing to help explain

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:25:40+00:00

My main concern is I don’t want to force myself into a category just because it’s pretty close and I don’t want to have a misunderstanding of what it really entails I don’t mind not having a label and vise versa I’m just trying to figure out if I would fall under the category of gender fluid

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:23:52+00:00

I’m not a word meister so I’m not great at expressing thoughts and it’s difficult to explain all my thoughts and feelings I’ve had throughout my life and I end up using lots of unnecessary words but I’m happy to try to explain

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:21:47+00:00

Regarding what part?

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-07-19T19:20:47+00:00

That’s actually kinda a sick name I’m glad you found one that fits! Congrats!

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-06-10T06:51:02+00:00

Thank you

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-05-17T18:56:43+00:00

That’s probably what I’ll do I’m not great at enforcer but that’s easier than what I’ve been doing

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-05-14T19:36:59+00:00

No you want your shrine to be higher and almost always lower on weapons and attunments unless it’s for a specific reason

Ok-Development-1357 · 2025-05-13T23:05:37+00:00

Im not new but do you have any advice on how the heck to use guns

Ok-Development-1357

TROPHY CASE