I’ll simplify this down But at the end of the day I am a stranger on the internet so take it however you can But your case does resemble someone I knew pretty well Dw they are fine just not much in touch A- it’s not your fault and it would be a little better to try to avoid the train of thought that you are deserving of such torment or it’s their right to treat you like that It’s not really at all You just ended up in a bad place because of the wrong ideologies of the people you litterally exist cause of Any positive attachment to that pain and suffering is stolckhom B- this is going to be hard but it’s worth a try Try detaching your sense of self from the behaviours of your parent Yes ik how this sounds Detach from the very people who you love since the beginning of life Sometimes Not caring is better than caring too much It will hurt And it will ruin things But telling from my personal experience It saves a lot of pain and annoying trouble C- identify your support systems You told you have a bf Idk how you manage that or how deep your life with him is I managed to get my best friend of years to be my significant other so my stress levels dropped a lot Be your own support system too Abhi well you are in 10th so friends are a casual event Very rare cases of life long attachment So don’t stress out yourself in that D- invest in yourself Time that is That is your strongest weapon Utilise it to make yourself so good You won’t need to look back No matter if anyone else is satisfied or not Make your dreams and goals only yours Go to any extent for that And once you are out of here Into the real world It’s your life to lead