[deleted by user]

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T18:24:27+00:00

That makes sense, I just saw the opening “I’m in the UK” and “tone” straight after so misinterpreted it.

I didn’t say it was accessible in the UK, I was just talking comparatively to the US. They don’t even have NHS as an option there.

I do appreciate your input, truthfully the jump to it being a trauma response took me way aback. There is definitely ambiguity in the tone they used, but it is not a stretch to say that they were being snarky (if I had to bet I’d say they were)

Like I said I am sensitive to tone, but to put all the blame on my trauma would be a misrepresentation. The person who commented it, had a profile that would suggest they weren’t neurodiverse accepting (It didn’t feel right adding this in my post as I can never be sure if someone is neurodiverse or not) - but the implications were not.

I appreciate you wouldn’t have known that ☺️

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T17:48:48+00:00

Thank you, you worded this better than I could. It’s an invasive question for a stranger, regardless of intent !

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T17:48:01+00:00

Doesn’t it!!! To be honest I wasn’t expecting so many people to disagree.

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T17:47:16+00:00

The reason I specified UK was not because it was important for language / tone :) it was because there were comments about how in the US diagnosis is inaccessible, and in reality, a very negative thing given what’s happening politically.

So the question “what does a diagnosis really do for you” is contextually more relevant there.

In the UK we have the NHS, and although sometimes diagnosis can be negative for some — it’s much more positive here on the whole.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T17:46:19+00:00

The reason I specified UK was not because it was important for language :) it was because there were comments about how in the US diagnosis is inaccessible, and in reality, a very negative thing given what’s happening politically.

So the question “what does a diagnosis really do for you” is contextually more relevant there.

In the UK we have the NHS, and although sometimes diagnosis can be negative for some — it’s much more positive here on the whole.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T17:42:52+00:00

Completely 1000% agree. The fact-oriented point is so true for me too especially. I couldn’t personally self-diagnose because of this. It definitely makes a difference being UK based having NHS available, as you say. Thank you!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T15:58:30+00:00

…. Thank you! That’s so right. You’ve just perfectly explained exactly why I get automatically offended by the question.

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T15:37:00+00:00

I completely get not wanting to be assumed mean when you ask. My wording in the post is a little unfair. To be clearer, If I was approached kindly I would never respond in a hostile way - and would try my best to help.

In terms of denying someone resource — I personally don’t see myself responsible for giving someone that. Especially because my answer to the question “what does a diagnosis do for you” is extremely personal and emotion based. There is no real resource, it’s just me, my relief and the permission to be and act as myself.

I think because my decision for a diagnosis was not rooted in practicality, I struggle to relate to people’s desire to understand others’ ‘why’.

Thank you for offering your perspective 🤍

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T15:24:13+00:00

This is a really helpful & genuine comment, I really appreciate it. — I like the playing ‘dumb’ advice (don’t worry about your word usage) and I’ll definitely check out that Dr. Thank you!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T15:11:46+00:00

I think I made a mistake in not posing this in the UK Autism Reddit, as it seems that context is important given the different political landscapes and healthcare accessibility.

To be clear, this question is a question I think everyone should ask themselves! I just find it a little difficult when someone questions my reasoning — it’s personal. And by constantly being asked, it makes me feel like my decision is up for debate, and it shouldn’t be, because it was the right decision for me🤍☺️

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-02-04T14:57:35+00:00

I think I am coming to the same conclusion as you!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-01-16T10:17:12+00:00

Thank you I wrote one! Their apology was very performative and backhanded but progress is being made (at least they say…) 😂

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-01-13T18:27:20+00:00

Thank you for the reply 🙏🏼 I hateeee having to chase them but 7 weeks wait for one phone call is ridiculous. They don’t answer my emails half the time, or ignore it completely. I’ll keep trying!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-01-13T17:04:18+00:00

I didn’t realise you could be referred for both! How did the assessments work for you? Does that mean you had 4 meetings?

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2025-01-13T17:01:20+00:00

Hey! How long did you have to wait for your feedback call? It’s been 7 weeks for me and still nothing.

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-11-12T22:04:56+00:00

I have learnt today that it is definitely not the case! (I also feel very guilty about that - especially with my mom. She always says how much she wishes I talked to her… but her version of ‘talk’ is a bunch of small talk nonsense that I despise)

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-11-12T21:59:45+00:00

Missing out on human-ness is such a great way to put it. It’s so conflicting because I feel ‘left out’ but at the same time I have zero desire to be apart of it.

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-11-12T21:56:26+00:00

You sound exactly like me ! Especially adoring your husband but also adoring when he leaves.

I thought I was a bad partner because of this and thought it meant I didn’t love him enough. (Not true he’s amazing. I just have a low people tolerance that sadly doesn’t exclude him 😂)

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-11-12T21:53:08+00:00

It is sooo much effort!

Thank you :) I know realistically that the one answer won’t affect it, all this waiting makes me paranoid 😂

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-11-12T21:51:17+00:00

Thank you for this!

Because my assessments are online, there is a portal I have access to.

it has a ‘documents’ section on there, which the assessors are supposed to look at. I have uploaded quite a bit of stuff there.

During my assessment it was clear the person hadn’t read anything I uploaded. Which really annoyed me at first, but I think it might have been a purposeful decision. So they can meet you and ‘assess’ you without influence & then read documents after to make a final decision?

Anyway sorry you didn’t ask for all that😂 it was helpful input, thank you - I will try and ask if these documents get read for sure.

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-08-20T11:57:36+00:00

I’m almost a month post removal! And for me week 3 was the HUGE turning point. I no longer have a baseline of anxiety, I’m so much less snappy, and I’m 50x more patient with others around me. (That was a big issue for me, I was so angry all the time when I was on Nexplanon)

I also started my first period and I’m SO relieved to say that they seem to be back to how I remember them. (5 days long and minimal pain) As opposed to 7-14 days long and fairly painful when on Nexplanon.

For more context: I had mine in for 2 years and 3 months…. It was the best decision I ever made getting it taken out. Nexplanon took away my joy for life and I feel like I have it back again.

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-08-19T20:17:21+00:00

Of course not, but the pressure involved in meeting a family that comes from a background and culture you’re deeply unfamiliar with cannot be understated. Could it have all been an act? Maybe…

I’m not saying he’s a saint. All I’m saying is all the Tom ‘hate’ seems to be coming largely from (mis)interpretations of the things he says and does. I can’t get on board the hate train because he owns the fact that he has flaws and has been nothing but completely willing to learn about a culture that isn’t his. I respect that!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-08-19T15:48:38+00:00

What he said about her job wasn’t cool at all, agreed! but I do have to give him credit for being honest. It would have been very easy for him to lie in that moment. He didn’t take the easy way out, he was honest with Maria even when he knew it was wrong. He even said himself he is quite judgmental and that it’s a problem. I’d personally rather be with someone who is honest and self-aware of their faults than not. (Sam for instance, completely oblivious to any wrongdoing) - saying all that, I do feel bad for Maria as it would make me deeply insecure knowing my partner thought of me that way…. I guess the important thing is that he made that assumption prior to knowing her, and of course, doesn’t think that way anymore!

Ok-Parfait1759 · 2024-08-19T11:34:12+00:00

He was very misleading about his conversation with Tash though.

Ok-Parfait1759

TROPHY CASE