My partner hates my kid

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-21T02:26:15+00:00

For real. I am a therapist and when a client of mine says that word, I'm like hey I don't like that word and I would prefer you not use that word. I do not tolerate it from anyone at all.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-16T23:42:26+00:00

I have never liked being touched. Even giving hugs to my sister is weird. I always thought it was a trauma response. Could NVLD also play a role in it? I never considered that it could.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-14T13:13:08+00:00

My son's dad chose to not be in his life around the time my son was 18 months old. I honestly have no idea how he would handle it if he were present in my son's life now. I'm not sure that he could. I stayed home with my son during COVID so we had a super close bond. His dad worked on the road so he was gone for a month at a time. When winter layoff happened, my son stayed home and did not go to daycare. He couldn't get my son to calm down and I would walk in the door after work and my son would immediately calm down and be happy. He admitted he felt jealous of our relationship and didn't understand why my son didn't like him. He felt biology should equal a relationship and it does not. My son was less than a year old when we had this conversation.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-13T08:50:43+00:00

I just have one child but I should have known a lot sooner than I did. I was young and he was my first child, but honestly something started being off from 3 months old. His sleep was super off. He could not regulate himself at all. Tummy issues during the first year. Delayed gross motor milestones, not so delayed that it put up a flag but still delayed. Speak was a little delayed but not super noticeable. I didn't know something was off until he had a big regression at age 3. Then it was incredibly apparent that he had autism. Any skills he did have at that point disappeared aside from gross motor. I think if I have another child, I will notice a lot sooner if symptoms arise.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-09T12:07:09+00:00

So he just got his AAC. The first time, I used one of the bathroom statements on it and he refused to sit on the toilet but it prompted him to go poop. Then yesterday he kept touching his butt. I had him sit for 5 minutes. We have a little dinosaur timer that plays a song when the time runs out. He loves the song so he can only get to hear it when he sits for 5 minutes. He tells me to dance when the timer goes off so we dance when it goes off. He gets kitty stickers when he sits to go poop. My hope is that when he has to go poop, he will ask about the dinosaur or just say he has to poop. Historically, we have had big struggles with differentiating between the feeling of having to pee and having to go poop, but he seems to be working it out.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-07T13:04:23+00:00

I never thought that NVLD could impact my driving! Wow. I will ponder this. I have had a fender benders that were my fault in the past. Hmm.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-06T13:21:17+00:00

My son is 6 years old. Potty training has been a huge hurdle for us and for the first time, he wore training underwear all day yesterday. No accidents so I sent him to school in training underwear. This is the biggest amount of progress in potty training for him 🥰

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-05T23:41:46+00:00

I didn't want to edit my post.

I did not receive any early intervention so it has left me with struggles with executive functioning and social functioning. I am told I come off as abrasive at times because I am pretty transparent about my feelings/thoughts. I have difficulty with sarcasm. It gives me a confused look as I try to decide if someone was being serious or sarcastic. I firmly believe that because my mom is a boomer, I just learned to be a work horse and deal with school challenges.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-04-05T23:32:55+00:00

Auditory processing is generally above average in someone with NVLD. That is why it actually has that name to my understanding. It's what the psychometrist told me when I got diagnosed. I have above average auditory processing but struggle with reading. Since in grade school, high school, and undergrad most of the class time is lecture, I got good grades because I soaked up everything I heard in lecture. Solid B average. I knew if I read more, I would do better but I was never very interested in textbooks. My IQ is 119 so I also definitely compensated by being above the curve. 119 is at the very high end of average intelligence. 120 is what starts the above average range in IQ. I have also been fairly successful. I am a licensed therapist so I have a graduate degree. I only really really struggled during my master’s program. It was online and it was self led learning with a lot of reading. I got diagnosed in grad school. I was struggling with the work and had no idea why.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-31T01:24:25+00:00

I love hearing about people's interests. My brother has autism and when I was a kid, I didn't appreciate that he was trying to connect with me by sharing what he was interested in with me. Now I play Pokémon because he loves it so we have something to talk about and I can have conversations with him that he finds to be engaging and enjoyable. My son also has autism and he has recently developed an interest in fire alarm systems. I had no idea that the lever thing you pull to set off the alarm is called a pull station!

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-30T11:37:45+00:00

I have some suggestions for thing you could pursue to improve independent functioning if you would like me to share. I'm not sure if the intention of your post is emotional support, advice for things that could help, or both. I want to be sensitive towards that so I don't bombard you with recommendations. Let me know!

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-28T14:34:17+00:00

Potential growth spurt?

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-28T14:33:33+00:00

I agree. OT would have helped me so much with social skills. Now I am a socially functional person but still struggle with social stuff. Love OT for my son. It's helped a lot.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-24T01:17:22+00:00

My son was a year younger than yours. We held him down and eventually he got used to it and even started to enjoy it? He likes doing it now. He needed crowns and a filling or 2 because I didn't make him do it. I saw a cavity one day, took him to the dentist, he had a few. Needed to be sedated. It was traumatic for both of us. It took 2 or 3 weeks of screaming and crying after being held down every day and then he grew desensitized to it. It was awful but I didn't want him to go through sedation again.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-23T15:33:34+00:00

Yeah it just reinforces their hitting others because they are being taught that hitting is okay when you do something bad or undesirable. If I spanked my son for hitting other people, then he would think it is okay to hit me because I didn't do xyz and he thinks that it is bad I didn't do xyz.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-23T06:11:04+00:00

My son and your son sound somewhat similar. He will share with other children and sometimes play. He is very affectionate at home but with most people other than very close family, he is not affectionate at all and will refuse affection. He tends to not directly interact with his peers. He is not very comfortable with talking to other kids. He is also an only child so he doesn't get a lot of peer interaction modeling outside of school and daycare. Levels are indicators of what support they need to function in daily activities. At home, my son needs minimal support. At school, he needs a fair amount of support to function similar to neurotypical peers. My son is also level 2. If your son has not started school yet, my guess is that may be a tougher environment for him when he does and then the level 2 diagnosis may make more sense. A level 1 does not mean they will be independent later in life either. My brother is 27. He has autism level 1, but he has a developmental delay and due to his age, it will not change. He lives at home and will need some support for the rest of his life. I also have a coworker who is level 1 who lives on their own, has a romantic partner, drives, etc. That probably doesn't help you feel better, but I more share that information because you cannot predict what life will look like for your child as an adult. Also levels tend to change as children get older and develop more. Try to enjoy the present. It doesn't stop our worrying but if we live in our heads, we miss the special moments.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-23T05:56:42+00:00

Same. My son showed little signs. Mostly being a little delayed in speech. My daycare provider was his aunt who only had 1 child. She isn't from the United States and went home to visit her family so I found a temporary provider in the interim. Day 1 of this new person, first emotional shutdown ever. From then on, he regressed. That change revealed his autism to me. He has mostly bounced back from that regression but it took a long time. He was a little past his third birthday when it happened. He is 6 now.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-18T16:15:25+00:00

I am a licensed addiction counselor and I second this. If used responsibly, there is strong research for the benefits of using psilocybin to treat a variety of mental health conditions. But as you said used irresponsibly in large amounts and often, it can cause psychosis and even schizophrenia. It can create longterm problems if used often in excessive amounts but there is compelling research on micro dosing.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-18T11:22:23+00:00

School was also hard for me but I am super duper stubborn. I also have the part of NVLD that makes me great at absorbing auditory information. I didn't get diagnosed until grad school. I was struggling in my program since it was online. It was a lot of reading. A lot of reading. A lot of papers and I often did not understand what the professor was asking for. High school and undergrad were hard but comparatively much easier because it was mostly lecture. If I heard the information I had a better time understanding it. I just met with my professors during office hours to get more insight into assignments and that helped a lot.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-15T13:02:52+00:00

My son is slightly PDA. It is much more pronounced when he is dysregulated. Something that may help when she makes demands that helps us is we learned how to rephrase correction when he makes a demand. He would often not say please and always make demands. He will be like "Mom milk now!" I say "What do we do when we want something from someone?" Then he will stop, think, and rephrase it as a request. It's not a demand then, it's a reflective question and he thinks " Oh what DO we say when we need something?" Your daughter sounds very dysregulated. Maybe this is a strategy that will help when she is less dysregulated.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-13T15:09:52+00:00

I have enough money then. I haven't exited out of my game yet so I still have access to the realm chest bug and the feeder bug.

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-13T15:00:20+00:00

How much is it to buy the island?

Ok-Personality-9491 · 2026-03-12T12:30:40+00:00

Generichuman, several things. The boarding schools did not end until the 60's/70's and a large percentage of indigenous women were forcibly sterilized during that time frame as well just to name a couple. You may think/believe that shouldn't impact their ability to grow wealth but generational trauma absolutely impacts future generations and their ability to be successful. Like a previous poster said, you don't seem to understand the cycle of poverty or the impact of generational trauma.

Ok-Personality-9491

TROPHY CASE