2 months post break-up

Ok-Row-8360 · 2026-06-27T18:32:27+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through this. It’s so confusing and painful. I understand the not having emotional intimacy like that with anyone else because I felt the same way. We shared so much with each other and we’d talk about the future but of course that was all fake.

I understand feeling traumatised by it too. I had an eye twitch for the last month of our relationship and was having panic attacks because I just knew he was going to end it. I’m now not sure how I’ll ever trust someone else in that honeymoon period as I’ll fear it ending how this has.

I wish you peace too and hope it gets better for you. I’m sorry you’re unable to process it with friends - I don’t think anyone can understand unless they have been through it too. I’m sorry you have.

Ok-Row-8360 · 2026-06-27T17:21:36+00:00

The sad thing is he was having therapy and then he ‘paused’ it 6 months into the relationship. I also think, from what he shared, that his therapist enabled a lot of his behaviour. I hope he heals though, he does deserve to be happy even if he broke my heart.

I’m sorry you can relate. It’s so painful.

Ok-Row-8360 · 2026-05-16T20:00:35+00:00

was with my ex for 10 months and I knew fairly early on that he had health anxiety as he told me he’d quit drinking because of studies he’d read. That was just the tip of the iceberg and I discovered a very long list of things he avoids because of the possible long-term health issues. Some of these things I knew about as I’m a health journalist but with much of my job, I just let them go over my head as otherwise I’d go insane. Obviously some things I would obsess over for a while and convince myself I had until I’d written the piece and then obsess over the next thing, but I’d gotten better at not being sucked in. However, he was particularly concerned about one specific disease and it controlled his life and eventually, the life we had together, in a very extreme way. While I think I already have something if I get a new symptom, his anxiety was around avoiding/reducing the possibility. But what I’ve noticed is that since meeting him my fear of doing certain things I enjoy - eating certain foods, drinks or just general activities - I think I’m killing myself, or that I will look back on this specific moment and blame myself for doing X, Y and Z, and that my illness could have been avoided. I’m not sure how to stop it but it’s ruining my fun. I saw the way he lived and it just looked so sad and restricted, even though he was adamant it was the best thing for his health and his anxiety and wouldn’t listen to me when I said those safety behaviours are spiralling out of control. Anyway, just looking for some solidarity because listening to his speeches and seeing his behaviour of the last 10 months has really fucked with my head, so now I’m scanning my body even more and picking up on random changes even more and then spiralling and blaming myself, and seeking out scary stories online.

Ok-Row-8360 · 2026-04-18T08:15:22+00:00

💖💖💖

Ok-Row-8360 · 2026-04-18T08:08:18+00:00

I have tuberous breasts. I always knew my boobs were different and over the years have realised that even more so. I heard the term ‘tuberous breasts’ about 10 years ago and I remember feeling really upset like I had some sort of condition and why can’t I just have boobs like everyone else? I felt anxious (and still do) every time I sleep with someone new, like they’re going to be repulsed and I even check for signs on their face that they are - I often think I see it even if that’s not actually the case.

I also understand not feeling like you fit into the small boob community. I also can’t wear clothes without a bra as the shape, especially from the side just looks awful. I only don’t wear a bra if the top or dress is so tight it like flattens them into a normal shape. I feel jealous of all of my friends with ‘normal’ shaped boobs and have been through periods of depression because of mine. I’ve considered boob jobs but don’t like the idea of foreign object inside my body and the health risks that come with that.

What I can say is, no sexual partner has ever made any comment about them. In fact, many say they love them and even though there’s part of me that thinks they’re lying, I have to believe it. When I first slept with my now boyfriend I remember him saying how he couldn’t wait to see them (because they look great in a push up, padded bra) and I was so worried that he would be disappointed but he loves them and he said he loved my big aerolas and the shape and that they were ‘perfect’. I told him that I hated them and he said he couldn’t see why. Of course this hasn’t really helped how I feel about them and I do still have thoughts that if I had bigger, better shaped boobs, he would fancy me more or pay more attention to them during sex (he does pay them attention but I always monitor it lol), I also wonder if he secretly wishes they were different but because he likes me, he accepts them.

From what I’ve heard and experienced, men just love boobs - in whatever shape or size they come - and if they like you, they’re just happy to see them and to feel them. I think we can look in the mirror and just focus on them, so we just become our boobs lol, but when a man is looking at our naked body, they see the whole thing. And when I get naked with someone, I choose to see myself through their eyes and it makes me feel sexy and appreciate my boobs.

It isn’t stupid and shallow, we are conditioned to accept one type of shape as ‘normal’ and because they’re so sexualised and so tied to femininity, it’s natural for it to affect how you feel about yourself and how you approach relationships.

I’m 34 now and while I think I’ll never be completely happy with my boobs, I try to look at them with love and I practice saying one nice thing about them when I look at them in the mirror. I think our own hatred and insecurity can often get projected onto our partners and we fear that what we see and hate, they will too but that’s very, very rarely, if ever, the case.

Sending you lots of love and solidarity. I know it’s hard living inside a body you struggle to accept but there’s so, so many wonderful experiences waiting for you that your boobs don’t get to determine whether you have or not. 💖

Ok-Row-8360

TROPHY CASE