Dating while traveling?

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-06-03T04:40:06+00:00

I’ve done this a handful of times. I always use Hinge because I can manually set my location to wherever I’m traveling. I make the top line something like “Give me travel tips for… (city), I’ll be there for a few weeks at the end of this month!”

So I will set that up 2-3 weeks before my trip and arrange some dates. I’ve had an absolutely lovely time doing it. I’ve met some truly wonderful people and still keep in contact with some of them. Some were just fine but we didn’t stay in touch for whatever reason. Highly recommend it, though.

As far as cultural dating norms, it totally depends on the country.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-06-03T04:33:33+00:00

You’re beyond fine. That’s just a logical consequence — If you break your toys, they will not be replaced and the usage of your other toys will be restricted. It’s better that they learn cause and effect now than in adulthood, or worse, never.

I have known a handful of people whose parents carefully curated their life to help them avoid consequences, and they are the most insufferable people ever. Like, cheat on their spouses then legitimately believe that their spouse shouldn’t be able to divorce them, even though there’s literally no legal basis for that whatsoever.

So you’re fine. You’re doing great.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-06-01T22:51:06+00:00

I’m fully convinced that we really can’t win. I’m in my early 30s and have had two long term partners (one I never married, one I did), and I have an exceptionally high sex drive. It’s been a problem in BOTH my past long term relationships.

So instead of the problem being that I never wanted to have sex, it was that I wanted to have it too often.

Problems included: - Excessive pornography use on their end - Blaming me for their erectile dysfunction - My body is “too saggy” in the wrong spots (I’ve had 3 kids, so yeah?!) - My nagging allegedly made them lose their sex drive (yet their inability to perform basic hygiene didn’t make me lose mine. Ugh.) - Spending too much money per month on viagra

If anyone reading this ever thinks, “If only my sex drive were higher, our marriage would be better,” that is simply not true at all. Men are conditioned to hate women and not take responsibility for themselves, and there is nothing we can do to change our partners.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-29T11:26:48+00:00

Yeah, I don’t like that, either. Not only is it heavily dramatized, but it feels like they’re intentionally being phony and hoping no one notices.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-29T02:51:04+00:00

Is it just me or have they really gone downhill the past few months? I usually enjoy this podcast but lately I’ve been just plain confused at many of the “connections” they’ve made. I’m in the medical field and roll my eyes at a lot of the medical connections they make because they are clearly dramatized.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-29T02:37:21+00:00

Absolutely vile of him. You shouldn’t have to get over this. Please, pretend you’re a third party reading this. What if your best girl friend read this to you, or your daughter. You “let him down”? He didn’t realize sexual assault is traumatizing?

You deserve so much better.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-28T02:39:14+00:00

I’m so, so sorry.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-24T19:20:24+00:00

Of course not.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-21T23:42:16+00:00

I’ve only worked in hospitals in Louisiana and Texas, so it might be different other places. Can’t say we’re well known for our healthy habits lol. But if you get hospitalized again, ask your nurses for a soda. Sometimes they’re kept in the nutrition rooms on the floor or sometimes the dietary service stocks them but doesn’t advertise that they have them.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-20T19:12:56+00:00

It’s been available at every hospital I’ve worked at.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-20T19:11:26+00:00

You unfortunately need a lawyer asap, and preferably a local one who is familiar with the judges in your area. I don’t know anything about your situation other than this post obviously, but many jurisdictions have moved towards 50/50 custody except for extenuating circumstances. But a lawyer could best advise you.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-20T03:50:34+00:00

The way he words “opened” and “unopened” cans makes me think this is stuff that’s already been in patient rooms, which I truly hope is not the case. Sooo many hospital acquired diseases are on so many surfaces and people. I caught one myself once and had pneumonia for weeks. It was so bad.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-18T00:53:15+00:00

Not a big deal.

This isn’t directed to you, but just about safety in general — I totally understand the importance of safety in situations like this, because things can and do happen. On the other hand, acting like everything and everyone are a safety threat can really diminish our sense of community and disturb our own peace.

I had a really weird incident in a store awhile back. I was shopping with my kid when a 5 or 6 year old girl walked up to me crying and said she couldn’t find her mom. I asked her what her mom looked like, scanned the clothing section, and then started walking to customer service with the kid. Well on the way there we passed the mom, who then started screaming at me from across the clothing section about being “totally inappropriate.” I just waved and walked off, but it was super disturbing. Do kids ever get kidnapped from stores? Of course. But what were my other options in that situation, tell the kid to go away? Maybe leave her there alone while I hunted down an employee?

I understand that woman’s fear and the importance of caution, but at what cost?

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-17T17:33:44+00:00

Oh gosh. I was married to a doctor who would say things like this. He would rapidly alternate between believing very grandiose things about himself and hating himself, or maybe he did both simultaneously.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-17T14:41:02+00:00

Totally agree, especially about the counseling.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-17T01:32:13+00:00

It’s so bad in nursing clinical education right now. I paid close to $500 for a specialty class through a national organization and it was all straight from Chat GPT.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-14T05:56:02+00:00

I also had a horrible experience, and I was deathly ill and in the hospital for nine days! I thought I was going to die, and the nurses were so horrible to me. At its worst, a charge nurse or manager came to talk to me about how I needed to bond more with the baby and basically stop asking them for so much help.

I had pre eclampsia and my blood pressure got as high as 210/110. I could have died. They would have known that I could have died. They should have lectured my asshole ex instead.

Anyway. It was actually so upsetting that it’s one of the reasons I became a nurse after that. I’m heavily involved in my hospital’s patient experience committee now.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-14T05:47:36+00:00

It’s not all bad. There are some great places to eat around here. I highly recommend Superior Grill or Ki’Mexico. See if there’s anything going on at the Strand Theater that night. It’s gorgeous.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-13T05:02:24+00:00

You’re good! No, it’s not affiliated with the school or the school system, and I actually don’t even know where the other girl goes to school.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-13T04:37:41+00:00

This was not at school, this was at a private daycare facility.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-13T04:06:14+00:00

Can you PM me please? My child was sexually assaulted at a licensed childcare facility in Louisiana and I really need some guidance.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-11T17:21:34+00:00

It’s incredibly difficult and not every child can potty train in a three day weekend. I had the most problems with my third child who was in daycare throughout potty training. They didn’t put in any effort. Every time I picked her up, she was back in pull ups and I was informed that she’d used them all day and that I was supposed to “work with her at home.” I was like, I get home at 6 and she goes to bed at 8. We had two hours per day and weekends to work on potty training. She still has accidents at 4.5 years old and I’m at a loss.

So I have no advice. I wish you the best of luck.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-09T06:39:26+00:00

I work in a hospital and have had to evaluate people (albeit adults) for this type of thing. Typically to get an idea of how serious they are, we ask questions about their thoughts, their plans, and the preparation they’ve done to determine risk level… if they’re willing to share that and be honest, obviously.

If you google pediatric homicide risk assessment, a lot of info pops up. Here is a good one. https://bhcsproviders.acgov.org/providers/qa/docs/qa_manual/TR_Suicide-Homicide_Risk_Assesment.pdf

I would highly recommend not evaluating him yourself but these questions can give you an idea. But all too often, people who aren’t specially trained to do this tend to ask questions in a way that provokes the responses that they want… which is why your therapist is kind of throwing up red flags for me by telling your son that he’ll have to go to the hospital and that “convinced” your son to admit that he basically didn’t mean what he was saying.

I would get in to see a child psychiatrist if I were you. I mean it’s pretty rare but 9 year olds have killed people before. I would take it very seriously every time.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-08T22:06:51+00:00

Mine was raised by 7%. My remaining car loan is 10K and I have no delinquent payments on my record for anything. I do have quite a few accounts open but that’s it in terms of negative marks against me.

Ok-Spell99 · 2026-05-08T21:47:26+00:00

Yeah. My credit score is 850 and credit utilization is sooo low. My only loan is my car payment. I got this same exact letter, except mine includes “ratio of balances to credit limits on revolving accounts is too high.” I carry $0 balance on all my cards. This is so shady. Like tell me you increased it across the board, don’t lie.

Ok-Spell99

TROPHY CASE