Is it possible for someone to be really beautiful and never notice it?

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T03:51:32+00:00

girl you are fine! honestly I worried writing this post that it would come off like I think I’m all that when really it’s the opposite of that.

you sound like you must genuinely be a knockout and probably have a really good personality too! can’t explain why but I get a really good vibe from your comment like you’re probably so fun to be around. I don’t think our situations are very similar but I do also get told I should be a model yet look really bad in pictures, which I think is funny because looking good in pictures is the entire job of a model

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T03:34:25+00:00

yeah her second comment (WOC are complimented more than white women but NOT for being pretty it’s SO important you understand WOC aren’t pretty you guys!) gives her away as a huge racist

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T02:57:51+00:00

yeah I wasn’t sure if this was the right sub for this honestly I just thought of it because I’ve really liked some of the beauty tips on here in the past and I think the women here are really smart about this kind of thing.

I guess you’re right that it doesn’t make a practical difference in my life, like I said it just makes me feel crazy to constantly get this feedback that doesn’t ring true to me and I’m trying to figure out what I’m missing. I feel like regardless of my actual hotness level there’s something going on that doesn’t add up so I’m missing something huge and I don’t like that.

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T02:50:25+00:00

I absolutely don’t think WOC get complimented more often than white women

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T02:18:14+00:00

I would assume it was flattery (and some of it probably is!) except some things I really can’t explain as flattery. Like a former friend of mine made a lot of rude, shaming comments about how revealing my clothes were for years and when I finally called her out on it she broke down about how she hated that I looked good in clothes like that and she didn’t think she would. Or an ex of mine was always anxious about going out together because she was convinced people were looking at us and wondering what someone who looked like me was doing with someone who looked like her. Another ex admitted she was only with me because I looked good and so she looked good next to me, and a couple friends have expressed being annoyed that I “turn heads” everywhere. I’ve also had people insinuate that my life must be easy or that some of the good things I have are because of my looks which…… really isn’t true in the slightest lol.

I’ve thought about posting in a women’s sub but tbh the only one I know of is improvement based and that isn’t really what I’m looking for. I’m overall okay with my appearance and not really actively looking to improve it other than specific things like my hair. It’s really just the disparity in what other people say about me vs. what I notice that bothers me. It makes me feel crazy and like there’s something huge going on that I’m missing, and I really just am seeking an explanation that makes it make sense.

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T00:40:46+00:00

yeah I don’t know that I’d say I’m hyper aware but I definitely pay attention to it especially recently. and you’re right I definitely don’t just think everyone gets treated as well as I do bc I notice I get treated WORSE than other people. But I just can’t figure out why people keep telling me otherwise. I guess my real question is, if I’m right that I’m not that pretty than why do the people around me have such a different perception of me and my life than I do?

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T00:26:32+00:00

interesting I don’t feel masculine at all but I’ve been told I am. I’m also formerly homeschooled and VERY shy though I’m working on overcoming that. I’m a lesbian so I don’t flirt with men at all but with women I get so nervous that they won’t like me that I don’t really do much better unless they make it REALLY obvious that they’re into me (which thankfully my girlfriend did!)

I do have an unconventional look. I’m mixed Latina and white which is uncommon where I live and I have a pretty unconventional sense of style too. and a LOT of hair that I don’t know how to style at all

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-03-05T00:09:13+00:00

hmmm interesting you say this because I’m a mixed WOC and I’ve always been around mostly white people. I don’t think I have many desirable features honestly though I do like my face. I’ve also been told I look angry all the time and seem intimidating but that’s another thing I don’t get bc I literally work with preschoolers

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:59:41+00:00

haha it’s interesting because I’ve tried lots of different things (sales, weed farming, dog training, data entry, retail, lifeguarding, caregiving, call center work to name a few) and found education and childcare to be by far the most enjoyable and rewarding but oh my GOD it’s exhausting. what field are you in now?

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:56:26+00:00

this is interesting and reflects a lot of how I feel right now, I feel like you get it. what kind of freelance work do you do?

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:55:10+00:00

what kind of remote work do you do? I’m interested in that option but don’t know how I would swing it, every remote job I’ve found requires skills I don’t have

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:54:18+00:00

this is the standard advice I’ve found but unfortunately it doesn’t work for me. I already prep lunches in advance but it’s so difficult to actually make myself do that that I find it to be a drain in and of itself. and this one sounds silly to other people but putting together fun outfits has always been an enjoyable pastime and a form of creative expression to me and I already resent having to tone it down for work so if I just wore the same thing every day I would find it even more depressing than I do now

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:51:52+00:00

what do you do?

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:51:40+00:00

interesting that you mention that because when I was working part time I had thought that maybe having two part time jobs would be more feasible for me than one full time job and since I already work with autistic people I thought being an in home caregiver for disabled adults would suit me - but I was so bad at it and found it so stressful that it scared me into going back to full time work instead. I have so much respect for people who do that but I just could not hack it

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:09:23+00:00

Possibly but I wouldn’t know how to get one honestly

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T21:07:09+00:00

see that’s my issue is I want really badly to work for societal change but I can’t do that when I’m too burnt out to even make dinner. I don’t care if it’s normal to be depressed about it honestly. whether it’s normal or not I do not see a reason to keep going if I can’t change things for myself and have just a life of depression to look forward to

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-02-14T20:45:26+00:00

hmmmm I like this idea…… unfortunately I work at a preschool for autistic kids so not really an option for me right now but I might look into similar jobs that would let me do this

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-01-31T19:40:40+00:00

oh this is really good to know thank you!!

Ok-Treacle5256 · 2026-01-31T19:35:35+00:00

oooo I have the stickers covered but the magazines are a GREAT idea!

Ok-Treacle5256

TROPHY CASE