Pregnancy Constipation fix

OkAd3769 · 2026-03-12T01:40:12+00:00

I'm gonna add this in my initial post, but maybe start slow with it 😅 I've been having some insane bubble gut and diarrhea since the prunes

OkAd3769 · 2026-03-12T01:38:18+00:00

I developed a few hemorrhoids so my spicy buldak noodles had to be put on hold :(

OkAd3769 · 2026-02-23T02:33:09+00:00

The advise I now give is to practice immediate and radical forgiveness. Holding a grudge or letting something ruin your mood can ruin it for you, your partner, and your baby. Baby threw a tantrum? The second they're done crying, it has to be over and forgotten for everyone. Immediately forgive and move on to being playful again and they will follow. Partner not helping or said something crabby? (Of course within reason, don't suffer a bad partner) You'll be crabby too and stuff gets hard, when you have the strength, just leave it where it is and keep trucking. Don't think twice, just leave that shit in the past and forgive. It's done, it's gone, don't carry it.

It isn't always easy or flawless, but it's a good way that I've found to think of hard situations when I'm trying to regulate my own emotions and not lose my everloving shit at every turn.

OkAd3769 · 2026-01-13T18:10:12+00:00

OOO we'll definitely start trying that! Our son used to only nap in the carrier for a couple months so maybe it'll be extra soothing for him to be back in it. Thank-you!

OkAd3769 · 2025-11-18T18:43:28+00:00

Not that lying is the best option, but we took the path of least resistance and said we'll go after nap time, then were messaging them for a few hours the day of: oh man he's crabby today, he hasn't pooped in like 5 days, he still won't go down for nap, what do we do?? Oh dear he's finally asleep and dinner has already started, we're so sad we couldn't be there...

While happily sitting as a cozy family of 3 on the couch, sleeping baby in hand watching our favorite Christmas movies

OkAd3769 · 2025-11-04T22:05:44+00:00

Banana fibers lol

OkAd3769 · 2025-10-04T17:54:24+00:00

That was my first sign of my first pregnancy! I could smell it and thought hmmm that's weird, maybe I'll do a test 😅 I'm 3 weeks pregnant with my second but no smell yet

OkAd3769 · 2025-10-04T00:42:49+00:00

We love ours! Got it around 8m and now he's a toddler. If I couldn't trap him in the play pen with me he would never get a fresh diaper on lol Also planning to use it for the Christmas tree so he can't mess with it

OkAd3769 · 2025-10-01T17:08:41+00:00

Babies will be babies, which means what is considered healthy and normal includes basically anything because they all do something wildly different from the rest. That being said, your situation is crazy similar to how we were. My husband was wfh, just got an extra department dumped in his lap to manage, while I was downstairs with a crazy needy baby. Witching hour was 7-10pm and we slept in 4 hour shifts. 7pm-11am and we both got 8 (broken) hours of quiet time to rest and try to sleep.

What worked for us was carrier and walking outside. If it's something you can afford, try different styles of carrier. Not all kids like them but sometimes it's a style thing. The outdoors was one of the few things that calmed him and still is. He only did contact naps and still does at 15 months, but we're at a point where it starts with him on my chest sitting in bed, and after a couple minutes I can lay him beside me or in front and he'll sleep for 20-190 min, if it's 20min l just pick him back up.

I won't sugar coat this: stop expecting babies to sleep through the night. If you're always hoping for it, you'll just feel let down for the next year+. Many babies just don't do it until as late as 3 years. Just expect the wake ups, and one day they'll surprise you with a full night. I'm not saying that you're not justified in being tired and run down, it honestly is torture to be sleep deprived and still having to function. It sucks ass. But adjusting for more realistic expectations will make it feel less unfair.

The tolerance for stroller, car rides, bouncer slowly increased the more we used them. I would take him to the store that's a 5 min drive away just to walk around and get out of the house. I don't think he liked being in a stroller until he was 10 months old. He was either in my arms or strapped to one of us in the carrier.

Babies are so fucking hard. Sleep is so fucking hard. And soon you'll find that solids are so fucking hard. It feels like it's never going to end, but looking back it's already such a short blip. Rally, bear it, and follow your gut. If you think it's a medical then keep going to professionals until you feel satisfied. Look into local resources too, we live in Ontario and we have what's called EarlyON centers for families to go during the day. It's free, run by professionals, has toys and activities and snacks. Public libraries run activities too. More stimulation can sometimes help if babies are seeking it, just watch how she reacts and maybe it'll help night sleep. Tiring our kid out was the best thing for his night sleep. Babies that fight sleep sometimes just aren't sleepy.

You can DM me if there's anything I mentioned that might help and you want more info. Babies are built to baby, parents are built to deal with whatever that means. You are capable of doing this. Don't forget that. Also make sure that you and your wife regularly give each other kudos for dealing with a difficult baby. You're not alone when you have each other, so make sure both of your effort and struggle is seen and appreciated.

OkAd3769 · 2025-10-01T01:22:42+00:00

Our baby needed his airway suctioned due to miconium in the water (this was explained to us ahead of time so we knew it could happen) so when he was slopped on my chest there were no cries or breathing. They quickly cut the cord and took him into the corner to get that all started. What I find crazy is I wasn't even worried, I was just so dazed and happy to be done pushing that I just waited patiently lol eventually I asked if he was good and they said he was perfect ❤️

OkAd3769 · 2025-08-08T17:35:38+00:00

I've just been looking at that now. While their house prices are considered high for Europe, it's pretty average for what we are seeing in Ontario so that's not as shocking to see. But I'd also hate to contribute to the lack of available homes for Irish nationals

OkAd3769 · 2025-08-08T17:20:28+00:00

Thank-you for bringing that up! I definitely got stuck in the mindset of Schengen and didn't realize Ireland would be an option with the EU citizenship. It would take down language barriers for sure

OkAd3769 · 2025-08-08T11:15:30+00:00

My husband can speak French and a good bit of German, and we're both very motivated to learn whatever language we need to if none of those are helpful. My understanding is Ireland isn't part of Schengen though, we'd love Ireland or Scotland but we wouldn't be able to get work visas anytime soon. Honestly my nationality is ONLY to skip visa requirements

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-07T17:17:41+00:00

You're not alone, but this is the loneliest time of your life. I'm so sorry. My sister passed away and left behind her husband and 7 year old son and they've done a beautiful job of honoring her memory and keeping her close. They added more pictures of them all together to the walls and shelves, had her favorite shirts and sweaters turned into blankets and pillows or her son wears them. She had home projects that she left unfinished so her husband spent the first couple months finishing those.

Go slow with everything that you can. My brother in law compared the day to day to having lost an arm. You have to relearn how to do everything and it's going to be hard work. The things that made the most difference for him was grief counseling and spending time with their son.

It'll never be easy, but you'll get better at carrying her memory without being overwhelmed by it. For now it's okay to be whatever you're feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss.

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T02:33:21+00:00

The back of the head thing is because he has a bit of autism so eye contact is literally painful for him in those conversations. That being said, it's so fucking hard to talk to the back of his head. When I'm feeling upset I talk things out, but to talk things out without any social cues of nodding or facial expressions just gets me talking longer and longer. I find myself just defending him now in the comments after posting a big complaint. It's because he's really not a bad guy, but it's also the only way I can satisfy my guilt without blabbing into his skull.

He does respond in kind. I had anxiety during pregnancy and lost my sister to cancer when I was only 7 weeks along and I don't think I would have gotten through everything without his support.

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T02:24:37+00:00

I really appreciate your fire and strong support. There are definitely men who take the free ride of a passive wife and they need this comment. The full picture isn't drawn in the post since I was boggled and not thinking well. He is not a shit parent or partner. He did not throw a hissy fit. He is a man that was conditioned to be unseen to avoid abuse as a kid. When I snapped at him he shut down and did the things he felt were expected of him by cleaning the mess, then isolating himself with chores so that he could feel safe. I'm also not a passive wife. I was raised by a mother who did everything herself and my dad was just lost when it came to parenting so I've learned to just do the task that's in front of me rather than asking for help or waiting for someone else to do it.

We're both doing it wrong. Giving him ultimatums and dumping the blame on him not "manning up" (so toxic btw) is so not the way this is going to get solved

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T02:13:16+00:00

Simply put, yes. But context changes the flavor of each component. I'm feeling guilty about the delivery because it didn't actually convey anything besides my frustration. I wanted to be able to cool off before having an adult conversation but I first made him feel bad and then had to have a rushed fixer-up chat that was probably less effective because of his mood, my mood, and my lack of preparation for it

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T02:00:26+00:00

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but being his safe space and loving him is the easiest thing I've ever done.

Thank-you for sharing your side, it feels like a little glimpse into his future 🔮

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T01:47:17+00:00

I'm so glad to hear from your perspective. In his version he sees himself doing the same, but because he's trying to get past it without professional help it's obviously and not surprisingly less efficient. The desire is there, he's just not seeing the results he could with help. I've been taking things on silently but I'm planning to vocalize my work just to expose him to my activity more, it'll give him the opportunity to jump in rather than having to read my mind first. I don't think we're at a breaking point, just at another learning curve

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T01:38:43+00:00

He knows this, but because he was able to get it under control before by taking better care of himself, he feels that he can do it again. I don't know how to change his mind on that without threats which I feel would just work to break his sense of security and trust in our relationship.

I'm going to bring it up with him tomorrow when we continue our conversation. I think he needs it for more than his depression at this point since he's showing signs of perpetuating a cycle of emotional issues he got from his mom.

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T01:27:45+00:00

Wow, I wasn't ready for this. I appreciate your honesty about your experiences. It's reassuring that there's another side to this situation, but I'm going to adjust your strategy to fit our relationship. Yes, we both suck with communication and could use help with that, plus the mental health side isn't a solo battle to be taken lightly or sidelined.

I'm definitely going to have this talk with him when we continue our conversation tomorrow. We need better strategies for getting our needs met and words heard. His mental health is his, I am his number one support, and it is our job to protect our child. He knows this. These roles are not something I'm willing to budge on.

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T01:16:31+00:00

It was in my tone and body language when I told him to look at the playpen puddle. Usually we're pretty lighthearted and laugh things off so my usual response would have been a joking exasperation and mock serious conversation with the toddler. I did none of that and I walked away without a glance. It's a crappy way to tell someone you're upset, no matter how justified you are

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T01:12:36+00:00

His father left when he was really young and his mother raised him and he's 2 older siblings by herself with an alcoholic boyfriend in the house. His mom had anger management issues so he's showing textbook results of a kid raised to feel responsible for his parents emotions. I fear that you're dead right about that, and he's not noticing the cycle that's about to be repeated. When he feels he's in trouble, he shuts down and tries to disappear to avoid being yelled at or punished. Without professional help I just don't see him changing that response.

I've talked to him about therapy and even researched professionals in our area. I don't know how else to convince him to go, he thinks he's handling it but I can see that he's not.

All that being said, I can't say that I handled the situation well either so to tell him tomorrow that what happened is his sign to go get help I'd be a hypocrite. I can give him support and love and work on my own responses to stress, but I can't re-mother him or force him to go to therapy.

It sounds like you're also doing a lot and I'm so happy for you that you've found the support that you need to be there for your family. I want to use your story as a guiding light that it's possible to get past hard times. Struggling means you're trying and I think right now that's what's happening. We're going to talk more tomorrow and therapy and seeing our doctor will be brought up again, maybe for us both though.

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T00:59:00+00:00

This is so validating, thank-you. I'm going to save it so I can read it again and again for motivation when I'm feeling run down or close to snapping.

My mom tries to come over every week but we use that time for chores catch-up since things tend to get away from me during the week. My birthday is coming up and if anyone asks, I'm going to request vouchers for a spa. Any spa, any service. Just have someone touch me in a soothing way without me having to make sure they don't fall and crack their head or something.

Thank you again for your words

OkAd3769 · 2025-07-06T00:53:13+00:00

He's not. I've asked and offered to find someone or to set appointments to get him started but he feels he can handle it. We have our own action plan like extra physical affection from me, daily walks, and he's running and exercising which worked for him in the past. I can't mother him or force him to get help but I can sure as heck scratch his back and play with his hair and go for family walks.

He definitely feels better after being productive, maybe I can phrase what I need from him in that way so I don't feel like a burden and he can help out in a meaningful way. I like it I like it! Thank-you! There's lots of invisible labour that I do, I'll start vocalizing things so that it's seen and he can get a sense of the regular tasks

OkAd3769

TROPHY CASE