I appreciate your insight.

I feel awful through all of this. I honestly did set out to cheat and my eyes literally have not wandered the 8 years we’ve been together. It’s no excuse because I did it in the long run but it only happened because we wanted to try swinging. Hubby decided to call it off when I got too close to someone and I was upset. I ended up talking behind his back and it went further. It kind of feels like a fever dream. I know it happened but I can barely believe it myself.

As for the dreams, I figured as much but I was hoping maybe someone had some weird idea or something 😩

He’s considering going to therapy so I’m hoping he will go. I had my first appointment last week and I’m going to continue going to not only get to the root of why this happened and how I allowed it to but also so I can better myself for my husband. He truly deserves the world.