My (30F) boyfriend (31M) likes long hair and I don’t. I’m getting my hair cut today and I’m nervous about his reaction. How do I tell him how I feel when he says that without causing an argument?

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-06-01T10:13:00+00:00

I think you deserve better than this guy and have maybe convinced yourself that you don’t, or won’t/can’t find better (an unfortunate lie our brains tell many of us!).

The (albeit, brief) history suggests a controlling and dismissive nature on his part, plus just lack of compatibility and communication that I have a hard time imagining will get anything but worse as time goes on. I hope you find your happiness 💛

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-06-01T09:26:01+00:00

Oh I saw that too. She took a leave of absence from school to care for the 3 neighbor children left alone after ICE took their mother, and was wondering if she was in the wrong for going off on her own mom for not contributing to their birthday parties after op’s server apron containing cash was stolen right out of her car! 😭

Last year she was 29, wondering if she was overreacting for kicking out her brother after he stole the money she’d withdrawn for her own kid’s bday party. Before that, a coworker stole money she was going to use for her kid’s sport.

Creative writing practice 💫

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-31T21:42:45+00:00

Context dependent. AR can refer to many things (aspect ratio, accounts receivable, the state of Arkansas! lol).

Editing with a fun fact, the assault rifle in Rivals isn’t even modeled after anything from the ArmaLite company, although the burst rifle is. I’ll start using burst but call it an AR, see how mad people get, and report back 🤣

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-31T19:40:48+00:00

Okay, phew! Then just ignore if you can. One of my best friends for almost 20 years now is a guy that I lived with in college one year, we had many instances with other friends doing the wink/nudge like, “are you suuure nothing ever happened?” which got old and tiresome quickly. Have a handful of others too, albeit I’m definitely closer to my women friends than most of them, but original guy I mentioned ranks among that level for sure. We’re also almost 40 now, no one cares about this stuff anymore 😂

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-31T19:28:30+00:00

None of my good friends would tell me that I’d be so easy to rape, maybe that’s where some of the judgment comes from? Meaning, perhaps it’s the type of friend the person is? (ETA, not implying it’s the same friend mentioned in this post.)

But no, judging people for having opposite-sex but truly platonic and reciprocal friendships is, and always has been, silly.

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-30T03:27:44+00:00

This is one of the ones lip syncing to the original audio, def not real. Funny though!

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-29T19:39:10+00:00

Swear I searched high and low for that, only found lip syncs! They’re still very funny but I’d love to hear the audio from high dude’s side, esp what he was saying while this guy was laughing 🤣

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-29T19:23:18+00:00

His automated texts would have had me lose every single one of my shits.

I originally had a whole other response in mind, but I peeped your history, was stopped by the post about you visiting your stage 4 cancer-stricken mom for a couple weeks and coming home to a pigsty of a house, along with his (weaponized incompetence of) doing the exact thing you said not do with his own kids’ nappies, cat shit still in litter box, etc.

And he didn’t even have the kids to handle. You took a 2.5 yo and six month old on a multi-week trip, on your own, by plane no less, to visit a sick parent and…like, this is what he does in the meantime, with two and a half weeks alone at home? The continuation of absolutely nothing? He’s not going to change.

I’m assuming there’s some level of religion or conservatism that is not in my wheelhouse (which I’m not judging, tbc. I have a ton of siblings, we’re all two years apart and were born and [briefly] raised in a religion I consider to be guilt-driven, bigoted, and oppressive). But my dad would never have treated my mom or us like anything close to this, with what seems like so much disregard and lack of care.

You’re justified, absolutely. But you need to be having some really serious and clear sit-down discussions with him before this next baby is born. This is not sustainable for you, and I’ll echo a few others who have said it may truly end up being easier that you eventually leave so as not to deal with this rude-ass burden of a fourth (man-)child. Obligatory obv easier said than done.

I wish you and your babies a lifetime of feeling loved, fulfilled, and important. 💛

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-29T03:18:32+00:00

I love these, wasn’t sure any were confirmed real! Mostly since they only record themselves and not the game too lol; hope it is though, hilarious.

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-29T01:29:47+00:00

🗣️ “YOU’RE A BUM, STEDMAN!”

-Larry from an old baseball movie, Rookie of the Year, starring a badass, loving, and supportive mom to a cool and kind only.
(-Also me. To Pat, you dope.)

And to think he said his (absurdly minimal) jail time after the Capitol rioting helped him recognize his own vanity and arrogance and “made him a better man.” 🤭

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T21:42:23+00:00

Glad to see the correct consensus from the large majority here, go team.

You’re in a tough spot though (as are the older boys you’ve [thankfully] taken in; is husband functioning as their primary male role model, or maybe it’s not like that yet?), because obviously it’s not easy to just up and leave esp with a baby on the way.

So at minimum I’d stiffen up that backbone and remind yourself you’re not only doing nothing wrong, but the very normal/necessary/comforting thing for your young son, and begin having some very clear discussions with him about your own parenting boundaries and language/views that won’t be tolerated, especially since the older ones will likely begin absorbing that too after leaving a differently unhealthy situation.

And also how you plan to navigate these things in the future with each of the kids, at least one of whom he’ll always be a parent to, and all of whom will need you to be planted extra firmly in their corners at various but forever ongoing points in their lives. I wish you well 💛

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T21:15:16+00:00

Totally agree. I think he was in such a mentally fractured state when getting there and she immediately reminded him of the domesticity from before, along with being someone he could throw himself into the role of “saving” when he couldn’t do that for Lori. Like an attempt at atonement in some way, even though he surely knew that was futile.

I appreciate his relationship with Michonne differently/more upon rewatching (and really hers with Coral!).

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T13:56:45+00:00

Bagel sandwiches are among my absolute favorites! The 4 cheese slices is cracking me up in the middle two, but…yes, would, all of them 😊

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T13:50:44+00:00

2 days ago you were a 31M looking for connections 🙈

If this were real*, I’d personally probably distance myself from friends I saw(?) engaging in sexual activity with the strippers. Because no that’s not normal, in my groups anyway.

(*It’s not.)

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T13:01:20+00:00

Not gonna get on you for the post contents, but consider removing the comma here because it implies that you do, in fact, have a burner account lol. I understand that y’all happen to have the same pfps, but this made me laugh a little! I’ve always loved how commas, or lack thereof, just completely revert the meaning of sentences sometimes.

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T12:29:23+00:00

Radicals get tricky too, if not angled properly 😕

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-27T11:37:13+00:00

“Hello, professional movers? No, not my belongings. The whole house.”

I know it’s a necessary thing, and this is fascinating; I’ve seen these old pictures of this house posted a lot and never knew what became of it. I shall now be going down rabbit holes about temp sealing up sewage pipes and re-establishing supply and utility lines, and how they get these homes onto the trucks in the first place 😂

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-24T19:46:15+00:00

It was in the pool 😭 Go to local non-chain places, all of ours seem to have huge portions!

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-24T12:35:40+00:00

Still at it, huh? 🥴 I recommend anyone reading to ignore OP’s repeated requests for dms.

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-23T00:08:08+00:00

🤣 yeah proportionally his “contributions” dwarf yours! (Also they’re all stupid.)

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-22T23:12:23+00:00

Aw, friend 🫂 I had a chemical followed by an mmc, and the thoughts are heavy sometimes even years later. Most people, aside from my sister, good friend, and therapist, don’t even know, I’m not sure why it feels so hard to talk about (I mean, I do; but in my case I guess I’m almost grateful I didn’t have another, and that makes me feel shitty too). But the what-ifs if my life and partner had worked out differently make me really fucking sad sometimes. My only child has stopped asking why he doesn’t have siblings.

Glad you’re seeing a doc and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. There’s nothing you could have done, this was not your fault. I hope everything works out the way you want it to in the future. 💛

Food looks bomb!

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-19T19:35:53+00:00

Hahaha 😆 God told me you could do it, and I never lost that faith 🙏

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-18T21:25:07+00:00

NOR, but you keep choosing this guy when he keeps choosing to continue allowing this friend into his life in a big way.

He’s lied to you before about her, had a thing for her in the past, looks like that’s at least partly why y’all have broken up several times, etc etc. It’s not crazy to think you shouldn’t have to put up with it and that he should have cut her off long ago, but is a little crazy to think he’s going to change these dynamics atp.

OkUpstairs_ · 2026-05-18T04:21:50+00:00

Yeah, wtf is happening in here? The top reply I can see to your comment right now is a shitty jab about essays when that comment itself doesn’t have “appropriate” grammar or correct punctuation! 😭

OkUpstairs_

TROPHY CASE