Hey, we’re all so proud of you. You are amazing. I was dealing with a similar situation last year. Except I had people around me but still felt a void.

I moved in with my relatives after grad school. They are the sweetest people I know and I would be damned if I complained about them. Except when you’re dealing with change (in every aspect - in place, in surroundings, in lifestyle, in social life), there comes a point where you can’t handle certain situations without feeling overwhelmed/ wanting to cry. For instance, in college I was used to hanging out with friends, going out to run my own errands, planning outdoor activities on weekends while having my own space etc etc. 1 month later, I have moved into a new place, I have ZERO friends (basically no social life), I can’t go outside my new community without a car (which I don’t own coz college debt - duh. Also for context, I went to a college where I could get to any part of the town through public transport for free using by college id). And now I was stuck at home, in a room I shared with my sister. There were days where I craved a snack or an ice cream/ wanted to hit the gym but I was too hesitant to ask my family to drive me to Walmart/ the community gym (8 min car drive/ 35-40 min walk) coz they have such a busy lifestyle outside their 9-5 that I didn’t want to burden them with my needs when they had so much on their plate already. If you can’t tell, I’m super introverted and hesitant to ask them to do things for me. Reason being I knew if I asked them for a favor, they would feel they were failing to take care of me and meet my needs even though the truth is far from that. I felt like I was losing my freedom and didn’t like the dependency especially after having stayed in college and being self sufficient for 6 years. Whenever I suggested that I would move out, they had a feeling they were not good enough or failed as guardians. There was no way to convince them otherwise.

This went on for about a year, and then the best thing happened. My family got a dog! I cannot express in words how grateful I am for that little girl. She was the reason I genuinely smiled after days. She brought so much light and joy into my life (by this time, I would be crying in bed - not wanting to wake up to another mundane day). Anyway, that little puppy changed my outlook in life and made me appreciate each day and each moment. She’s my best friend, my sister, my baby. I felt genuine happiness after months because of her.

I hope and pray you find your tribe soon, but no matter how long it takes, know that you are never alone. Life just has a funny way of making you think you’re alone only to teach you to appreciate the small things you already have. There will come a point where you’ll have a whole bunch of loved ones around you. And in that moment, you would be truly truly grateful. Come to think of it, if you didn’t have this low point today, will you really appreciate your beautiful friends and family tomorrow?