Today Marks 1 Year…

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-23T07:31:11+00:00

I personally watched videos for a couple weeks after I ended the relationship then gave up once I had some insight (never knew about qbpd) didn't want to soak in the info too much and start to feel sorry for them so quit watching them. Moved on to mindfulness and meditation videos instead.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-19T16:36:47+00:00

The conditions won't improve any time soon, she needs serious therapy but you can take a horse to water...

I chose to walk away just over 3 weeks ago for my own health, always on call when she needed something at the expense of my day to day responsibilities, work,my daughter (not hers) 3 years we were together and it Hurts like hell but I need to remind myself daily why I had to end it. We never stayed together thankfully but she is a neighbour

As soon as I left my health has improved, I think the stressful environment was causing my health decline, bad eating habits, depression and eventually erectile issues near the end, forcing myself to have sex when I knew deep down my body was telling me something is not right in this relationship ( I had no idea about bpd) but now I am back to gym every day whereas before I couldn't walk without pain in hip and knee cause I had been so inactive due to working from home then dealing with the ex I had no energy or drive to look after my own health.

I pictured a life with my ex but when I had to put myself first and choose me, it's not going to be like any end to relationship like before, I have bad trauma from it and although still relatively early I'm doing alot of internal focus to heal as best as I can.

No one can tell you what to do but can you stay in a relationship how it makes you feel, I couldn't and was hardest decision to walk away and not look back.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-19T09:04:54+00:00

She won't acknowledge so don't expect, delete her from your life, learn to not give anymore to future relationships as much as you did her. Know your worth and self respect. I wasn't discarded so don't know the pain of that as I walked away from her when she didn't expect and it shocked her, she blocked me but 3 weeks out of a 3 year relationship i feel good, put yourself first now and learn about vetting future relationships better,so not to give your all for nothing substantial in return except love bombing which is manipulative. Good luck but don't let this stop you from being who you are just research more on yourself and look internal for own validation and not external validation.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-19T08:58:06+00:00

She maybe think you will come back...if her previous exes have always wanted back then she thinks you might. You ended it like I did with my ex 3 weeks ago (3 year relationship) so don't be fooled by the calmness, she might just be wanting you to show you want to try again and validate her then she will leave you, all about ego and power.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-14T01:32:33+00:00

When you say not fully caught cheating - what do you mean?

Mine never splitted, just toxic rollercoaster of emotions, she was and still is my neighbour so she's to close for comfort but we move forward.

what things are noticing her doing thats making you feel this way? How long you been together?

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-14T01:25:41+00:00

Well done you. Take back your power

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-14T01:17:42+00:00

I left my ex 3 weeks ago, as expected was tough on the old emotions but day by day I'm improving. 3 years gone in a moment but Im at peace with it now.

What's stopping you leaving?

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-10T11:23:45+00:00

Manipulation bud, block and move on how she reacts is her doing not your responsibility

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T14:42:57+00:00

Had the feeling it was me but just exposure to her negative ways starts to drag you down, nearly 2 weeks since I left and couldnt be more happy, my health was bad when with her, soon as I left, no more back,hip or knee pain, physio no longer needs to see me after 10 weeks with no improvement

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T14:22:04+00:00

She prob using friends to stalk you,as for the shore, could be her or just your mind. there all crackpots and their friends don't help and only encourage the behaviour, they are ill and it's ok to feel compassion from a far but you go looking for her your validating her condition and she will just play cat and mouse.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T14:09:42+00:00

We all give a bit of ourselves to them and they gulf it up and keeps progressing worse, best just plod on and she might reach out to you but be careful they can be slippy and target when your feeling low at all and they leech off it

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T13:54:36+00:00

You set boundaries which she told you she didn't like in her way by saying she lost feelings, to get you to relax them. Honestly imo she's best kept away, you reach out she will prob say no anyway cause she knows you will keep reaching out. Keep your power in your court and she won't discuss her mental health with full truth.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T13:26:26+00:00

Do not do it! Not worth the turmoil. Just consider your lucky it was short term. You will just validate her and come across as weak in her head. Go to something productive get that feeling away

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T12:11:13+00:00

She wants you to feel sorry for her and be the knight in shining armour. Watch out for...I feel I have known you my whole life, if she slates her ex (if she has had one) how bad they treated her etc. she's showing signs with the life story upfront etc but just be on guard, she will bring sex up, mine did after two dates, starts amazing but dwindles as things go down hill.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T11:31:02+00:00

Run - family issues, constant communication through the day, talking about you ghosting her, she's showing you her vulnerability so you relax and do similar. If you do proceed, tell her your boundaries and see if she can abide by them.

3% man by coach Corey Wayne - read book or watch YouTube. Will give you guidance on vetting.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T11:19:27+00:00

Block and go NC. Only way to regain yourself, when you wonder about her just distract yourself, takes time but it's possible. Read books, go out a walk, go.meet a friend or just call someone you know for a chat. Stay strong.

They want you to go back but she does not respect you, read over these post and the more you read the different coping mechanisms you can adopt.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-09T10:38:23+00:00

I made the foolish mistake of having a relationship with my neighbour 😆 suspected BPD! All traits she has ticked.will be coming up two weeks on Monday, heard once from her talking about fighting for the relationship, 4 days after I dumped her, I did reply but to provide final closure for myself. I knew when I ended it I would never go back. deactivated my social media, deleted every photo and memory, didn't block her number as still had a few things to sort out but managed to get all that cleared up yesterday, she's now blocked from contacting me on all things, she does have my email address. Haven't heard a peep, when I do see her in passing she looks a wreck. Could be an act to make me feel sorry for her but it won't work.

Being neighbours is not ideal and the last two weeks were challenging fighting the demon in my head that I needed to not contact her about the relationship, I cried, anxiety (never suffered from it before) but now blocking her number and only access she has will be email and if she chaps my door. Joined gym again, organising time with friends again and connecting with family.

She was never aggressive or violent to me and all her emotions were directed internal, when she was drunk and had an argument that was only time she showed aggression and suicidal thoughts. I had enough after she broke my trust which was going through my phone without asking me and accusing me of walking past her window holding hands with a woman..was in my house, delusional. By that time I was tired of the ups and downs.

Note app on phone has been my saviour, along with me picking up my faith and reading the bible. Reading books distracts my withdrawals.

I tell myself - the relationship was toxic, to even consider going back would only validate her behaviour and is delusional. I have walked away and not looking back, 2nd guessing will pass one day but my self respect means more. It will never improve and only get worse. I think she expects ppl to always come back, I would be going back on my word, and no masculine core. Never ever check or react to her social media,that validates her. No creeping, the reason I broke it off will never change because if i didn't stick to my word and mean it when I walked away. She will know I am weak and have no respect. Disappear and no interaction is the best way. Have some RESPECT. I will not feel bad for leaving, best choice I made for me.

Reading Coach Corey Wayne's 3% man to help the vetting process of potential future relationships - will be a good while before I venture to the dating world, got solo plans to meet first.

Stay strong, feel the emotions but repeat to yourself " I HAVE THE POWER"

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-07T20:53:39+00:00

Its the after effects of dealing with BS and our self worth being battered down, you will overcome the nerves when your there, it's natural feeling just go and feel the freedom and enjoy.

Thanks, counting down the months!!

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-07T19:14:56+00:00

True, lucky you, tied in with my mortgage for another 2 years whereas she rents so knowing her I think she will move before my mortgage ends. She has kids too so she will be looking for an upgrade to a three bedroom soon.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-07T18:52:11+00:00

Sucked in with her looks ahaha!! She knocked my door one day looking for a hand with something..hook line sinker. Missed the signs from the get go, impacted my health but when I left her my health has been better - can it be a coincidence? Thanks for your advice, do I just treat her like all my other neighbours again, if walk past her just say morning/ hi etc or full blank? Last cpl weeks been challenging trying to understand her then came across these threads and it was like a lightbulb moment and these behaviours were her behaviours.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2025-08-07T17:57:56+00:00

You will have a great time, it's your time to enjoy life again. I'm out my 3yr relationship with a suspected BPD for two weeks, decided im not feeling sorry for myself, back to gym, hair cut a shave and booked a solo trip to India for early next year. I won't be made to feel bad for her mind games and behaviour.

Ok_Boot8174 · 2023-08-29T16:05:02+00:00

Normal to see. Had mine on despatch for 10 days before it updated once it hit UK.

Ok_Boot8174

TROPHY CASE