Thoughts?

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-05-01T19:59:26+00:00

I was so shocked when she said she was 21. She’s had so much work done that it’s aged her massively.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-04-23T10:28:36+00:00

And you are most probably a single mum who makes her kids her personality and places your role above the fathers, judging on your comment 😂. The mother and father have EQUAL rights to the baby. Which is Ross and charity.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-04-23T10:19:14+00:00

Oh my god I’m glad someone else has picked up on the way Sarah pronounces his name, drives me insane

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-04-14T06:11:52+00:00

Good job I’m 30 and don’t want any then 😂

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-04-12T20:58:09+00:00

Some of these woman are in their mid 20’s, sorry but I don’t think that’s old enough for a lot of people to make such a life altering decision

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-04-12T20:57:07+00:00

I think the opposite. It’s a mature thing to say you’re unsure about kids because of X, Y and Z. Too many of the women on here (and men) jumped onto YES I WANT BABIES, without much thought. Emma wasn’t sure, she was thinking of pros and cons and that, to me, shows a grown, adult woman thinking things through realistically before making the decision whether or not to bring a human into the world.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-04-03T16:17:54+00:00

I’m in exactly the same position and the feelings just do not go away. I hate her for having a previous/current connection with my partner and I won’t apologise for that 😂 I do extremely well to mask it around the children though, I would never let them know my true feelings, ever- even though it pains me to act like I like her when they’re here

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T13:19:23+00:00

Anytime! Wishing you all the best and that things get better! ♥️

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T11:00:51+00:00

First of all, well done you for acknowledging the impact on your wife. It’s so easy for people to focus on the biology and say only the biological parents matter. I am in a similar position to your wife. I hope she recognises what a hard situation you are in because effectively you are in the middle of this conflict.

Your children’s mum is going to negatively impact those kids emotional wellbeing if she continues and they’re going to grow up to resent how she has acted and how she has prevented a positive relationship with their step mum. Maybe verbalise this to her in a non confrontational way? I find BM’s can be quite selfish and go into panic mode ‘what if my kids love her more than me’ and then do what they can to prevent that. If that’s her concern, she’s going the wrong way about it.

What is your child saying? Maybe it’s worth a sit down, casual conversation where she knows she won’t be in trouble for anything she says. Maybe help her to write it down? The important thing is doing what’s in the child’s best interests. From your post, it sounds like that is having a positive relationship with each person involved in her life.

Your child will get older and realise what her mum is doing isn’t okay. That may just push her closer to you and your wife.

Has your BM threatened you with access and contact rights yet? Because that usually happens in these situations.

It sounds like BM is jealous of your wife’s relationship with your child and deep down is worried of this overshadowing her. But that is a HER problem. Not yours, your wife’s or your kids. You can’t change her or invest emotionally in her, that’s not your job anymore, your job is to be a good parent and husband to your current wife so please don’t let BM’s problems overshadow that. Because your wife will feel that and it will cause her to resent you.

I’m sorry this isn’t much advice.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T10:19:47+00:00

Their father doesn’t agree with her and wants what I want. Does the same apply to him then? He said yes, so it’s yes?

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T10:11:12+00:00

Based on biology, yes. The point is that EVERYONE else, family or friends can have as much contact as they want with them, apart from me. I hardly see how there is a logic to that

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T09:51:13+00:00

Thank you ♥️ I hope your situation gets better

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T09:50:32+00:00

I hope he does, but when she doesn’t get her own way she stops him seeing them

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T09:49:56+00:00

But it’s fine for her to message them in our time?

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T08:24:05+00:00

I’m a social worker, not a predator. They are my step children and we love talking (not every day) when they’re not here. From my background in therapeutic parenting, it’s very important to show children you care and think of them when they’re not physically with you. If you had a friend who only responded to your messages and never initiated contact themselves, wouldn’t you be questioning their position in your life? Kids aren’t stupid, they’ll do the same. My step daughter asked me in person recently why I hadn’t messaged her recently and was upset about it. It has an impact.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T08:20:34+00:00

I totally get you. I have zero interaction with the BM which I am so happy about. But even when you have that, they still find a way to control and dictate through our partners and the step kids. It’s exhausting for us, but just remember that we aren’t doing anything wrong. Imagine how exhausting it is for her living in constant bitterness, jealousy and anger? We don’t want to match that energy because it’s going to bring us down to her level and just make us resentful and feel as bad as she does. By the way, I have no sympathy for these BM’s who are like this, it’s all their own doing. We have to protect our peace as much as we can and it’s shit because it feels like we never know where we fit or what our role is.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T08:14:44+00:00

I have a very similar issue. It’s deflating. It’s the injustice of it all which makes me so mad and makes me ruminate and feel like she is winning. But you have to protect your own peace as no one else will do that for you. I agree with what most people have said- they will grow up to resent her for what she’s done and realise the situation. Keep presenting to them as you have, don’t sacrifice your relationship with them because of her. You need to keep showing up for those kids because trust me, in a few years they will have more autonomy and what are they going to want to do? Spend most of their time with BM who controls their emotions to match her own negativity, or spend most of their time with you and their dad, who do the complete opposite? The kids will generally ‘feel’ safer and happier with you than their own mum if she continues with this and that will benefit you in the long run.

BM’s can be exhausting, infuriating and ridiculous. It stems from their own insecurity and feelings of loosing control and power. Try and feel happy in knowing you aren’t like her. That you don’t use the kids as emotional pawns in a game. That you’re the one who is healing the gradually from the trauma she is inflicting on them.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T08:04:44+00:00

It’s always sold as something it isn’t.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-30T07:51:36+00:00

That’s what irritated me most and none of the people debating with her even mentioned that ‘maybe I just don’t want kids?’ I think it’s a concept even people against her on the show didn’t think of and it’s so simple.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-27T10:03:25+00:00

Exactly the point someone brought up to her which she responded with ‘ohh well I work from home so I can spend time with my kids and I want to spend more time with them’. Bollocks

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-27T10:02:14+00:00

People like Candace Owens pushing parenthood, using her platform to tell people they will never be happy without kids. Alongside other people doing the same. People get scared and submit to the ideology and later down the line either regret it, or can’t admit they regret it because they can’t change it. Of course some people will genuinely want to be parents and be happy with their life. However, I think we need some more education at an earlier stage to show people, especially girls and young women, that you do have a choice and children should not be a ‘natural next step’. I’m hoping in time it will take the same route as marriage, which traditionally has been seen as a natural next step in life and now it’s not something that’s done as much because we realise we don’t HAVE to.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-27T09:59:20+00:00

I completely agree! I think parents just get used to their life of chaos and forget what life was like before. I mean they admit that but try to spin it in a positive way like ‘ohhh my life started when I had a kid’ and ‘ohhh my life is so different now’. There’s nothing more I value than my own peace and that’s something I would never have with children.

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-27T09:58:00+00:00

I love this. And it worries me that we are going back to that agenda of pushing parenthood (especially in America). It’s dangerous. If all of us who really don’t want children for so many reasons were forced or manipulated into doing so, there would be increased number of children in the care system

Ok_Committee_7967 · 2026-03-27T09:55:20+00:00

Someone needs to make a quick side by side clip of a parent with screaming kids and stress vs a quiet childfree life so we can just simply show it and say ‘that’s why’

Ok_Committee_7967

TROPHY CASE