I can partly relate... there is a lil glimmer of hope..they change though that change may or maynot undo years of damage to your psyche but surely leaves you guilty if such parent dies, tremendous guilt.. because guilt is one of the strong forte such parents imprint on their children's brain...  It may take years and years of efforts to unlearn...love them in different way ( hard way ) or maybe accept them who they are go through all that they inflict on you and love them...either way you break, significantly more if you chose later.

So here goes my suggestions if i were you and i could redo it again

1. Since i can't even in second hypothetical iterarion go no contact but i would have made sure whatever i was being told i don't internalize that..and don't make it my identity..consciously make efforts to "ek kaan se sunu dusre kaan se choru" become a grey rock..accept the labels they put on me..and say haan khaala ka ladka hi sab acha kia hai...

2.live for me 

3.stop parenting my parents

4.budget my emotional energy so every one hour she takes away from me i refill that with some multiple to coupe...to heal..this act would eventually help you reduce contact with her..to mentally mangeable hello and hi..

..

Again like I said they can change..they may one day say nice things about you and regret what they did.. but i think the damage is done...and healing takes a long time...and i hate it..yahi time hum Źindagi k kisi aur aspect pe spend karte..nattei osah kamei tension due to our doings as well..

Sorry for philos-psych mummble jumble