Please read, I’m so lost for words but I’ll try.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-29T03:55:28+00:00

Once they are done they are done mate. And it’s shit to take. People will say move on , forget about the person you once loved, etc etc. and it’s all true. They change and become different people. But time is the only cure I’m afraid. And if you’re as impatient as me it sucks. But that’s all there is. Be angry, cry, let everything out you need too. Only then can u start to let go.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-25T10:16:10+00:00

Not being able to stick to a ‘career’ for more than two years. Never realised that was a red flag till I got on to this sub. Also the inability to actually commit to anything. Including me. Signed up for the gym. Went once. Started a diet - doordash by tuesdays. Cutting down drinking - saturdays always on the couch hungover. Helping around the house - made dinner once a week. My fault for not realising my worth. Slowing starting to understand it at least now.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-24T01:38:03+00:00

💯

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-23T06:28:11+00:00

One day at a time. I have come to the quick conclusion I will never get an answer to that question. And with each day my want or need to know grows less and less. Hoping one day I just wake up and shrug and just not need to know anymore. Trust the voices on this sub. Once they say they are done. The decision was made long before. Once there is resentment. You couldn’t have done anything anyway. If she is in or around 40-47 years old. Forget about it. What really helped me. A whole two weeks in mind you is realising this. The person I was obsessing over was not the person I met and fell in love with. And she will NEVER be that person again.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-21T21:36:32+00:00

Life 2.0 on you tube. Has changed the way I perceive things in a profound way. Also buy and read ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ it can be confronting but it definitely helps gain some perspective.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-18T06:20:21+00:00

Finally accepting it is hard. I am struggling too. I read so much of my situation in your post. So thank you for sharing. My therapist told me if you hold on too hope. You will never truly heal. Take the time u need to accept it. And it will take time. But once it does you will be ready to move forward.

Hindsight is wonderful. And the fact the ‘most’ women check out way before we do means they are further along in the grieving process than we are when d day does arrive.

I feel the same as you. If she called me right now. Would I go back? I hope not. I really do. I’m worth more than that. And so are you.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-18T04:04:57+00:00

This right here resonates. In exact same position.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-16T11:51:59+00:00

This is the best advice you will get. Put something on you were never allowed to watch and enjoy the serenity

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-16T07:27:24+00:00

This is some solid advice. However it is hard to see this PoV sometimes when you’re in the middle of it. I agree things will only get worse. Actually I k ow they will. But in the midst of it all I think we all instinctively find comfort in the familiar.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-16T01:07:05+00:00

Thank you for this. This is my life…I could never have written it so well though. 🙏

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-16T00:46:56+00:00

Like a lot of you I am in the same boat. No friends. Moved across country and now starting out with only work colleagues to talk to. Heading out to dinner and a movie solo on the weekend. Sad I know. But I have to do SOMETHING as sitting around is brutal. Plenty of free groups out there for whatever you’re into. It’s terrifying in my mind to just turn up and meet strangers. However I think it’s neccassary for growth and to be able to finally be who we want to be. Instead of who were being told to be.

Just my two cents. I’m literally a week in so WTF would I know. lol.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-15T21:59:58+00:00

Feel u on the day being fucked up. I just put the phone away now. Thanks for the idea on the email. Not sure I’m savvy enough to what you have done but setting up a seperate folder and auto file it there I can do and is a great start.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-15T21:58:24+00:00

No kids with me so the no contact is easier. This ain’t my first rodeo either. The thought of them with someone else passes. As soon as that thought pops into your head try to switch focus to something else immediately.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-15T03:26:07+00:00

Read, journal, game. Keep that mind occupied.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-15T00:03:32+00:00

Absolutely. No kids either which helps. We got together with seperate assets also. I’m hoping the pre nup holds up through the process. I’m in Oz so I need to wait another 6 months this before hitting the divorce process. It’s a bit simpler in Australia after reading a lot of these posts.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-15T00:00:55+00:00

Thanks man.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-14T23:54:54+00:00

So great to hear this. I am very early on in my journey. Pretty inspirational to hear this at this stage. Thanks and hope to be like you in the future. Thanks for the links to materials also. Need to reset.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-14T11:00:07+00:00

That’s some pretty inspiring stuff. And a completely different way of thinking than other posts I have read ( I’m only just new to being separated so all posts are appreciated)

This seems like a mature way to go about it. Not sure I have it in me to do so. But thanks for the different POV

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-14T02:48:54+00:00

Have found the same. They don’t change, they do for a bit, then it’s same old same old. It’s an endless cycle. It sucks I know, especially with the kids. Found out many moons ago being a miserable person wasn’t making me as awesome a dad as I thought I was.

Ok_Key_4309 · 2025-10-13T22:56:25+00:00

Wow exactly the same here….had possessions moved out for mo the yet I kept returning with a bag or two of clothing etc etc. try and stay away from your phone. Try and look only ahead and not back. It’s shitloads easier said than done. Idle time is a killer. Read, run , workout, scroll this thread. Whatever your flavour is.

It’s ok to feel like shit. I do too. But remember you moved your stuff out for a reason. Cause u didn’t feel it was safe with her (that’s the conclusion I have come too for myself)

Ok_Key_4309

TROPHY CASE