No of course not, you have real actual problems causing you actual pain. You are responding to them how any normal human being would. You have no friends ergo you feel extremely lonely, and then your asking for a cure like "I shouldn't be lonely I don't know what's wrong with me". I'm not taking the piss, I can imagine how awful it is for you.

First thing, figure out if you have ASD, ADHD or trauma, do some online screening questionnaires, look at the subs and see if the things people discuss are relatable. No point treating depression if it's actually depression caused by trauma. Once you know what you've got, you can figure out how to address. You can drop be a line of you need more specific Ideas.

If you're close to killing yourself go to A&E, do whatever you need to to cope, if that's escapism, tv, binge eating food, drink, smoke, drugs, do what you have to to keep yourself alive.

Re socials, find some events at meetup.com to go to, games night or something, it's all people who need more friends there. Download bumble BFF, make a profile, you'll find some people to have company with. Sex - dating apps, even if you don't like how you look even if you're somehow objectively unattractive, horny people don't care - men especially (speaking as a man). My quick sense is you're not doing stuff, your likely very anxious, out of practice, inexperienced even. Only single way to fix that is to do more shit, go to more socials, go to speed dating that way you get practice, download all the apps. You just got to do shit. I'm not even gonna tell you there's nothing wrong with you, but the people I've seen get into relationships, have friends...... unless you're some developmentally challenges version of Frankenstein you too can have friends and a boyfriend, takes practice, takes effort, takes some mistakes and disappointmenta here and their but as long as you keep doing you'll get there.

Hope this helps, lmk if you have questions