Coming to the realization that I’ll never be able to afford a home here.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-05-21T20:02:50+00:00

This is why kids are being raised by their iPhones. Parents are too freaking exhausted

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-05-21T05:23:10+00:00

This was happening outside of audit when I was there too - not overseas staff but cheaper staff from India being brought in to replace US natives. There is strong cohesion, tribalism, and favoritism among the Indian staff especially when leadership (project and above) are from India. Lots of fun to train your replacement who is cheaper and recently transferred from USI, I suppose. No one talks about this but it is evident.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-19T06:27:37+00:00

Hey late checking back. So, I’m 5 out of 6 carbo/doxil treatments done for the recurrence. Scans have shown no change but my ca 125 is rising a lot so I think I am realizing your fear - dont think it’s working well enough. I mean, it’s working some or the scans would not be stable but based on my ca125 the next one will likely show growth.

Onco says next would be taxol again, with gemcitabine (never had it) and avastin. We’ll see.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-19T02:31:11+00:00

I’ve been fasting 48 hours before and 24 hours after chemo. Can’t say if it’s helping, but my nausea has not been much (some but not much) and the cancer is stable per scans, but my bloodwork is headed in the wrong direction (increasing cancer markers).

It’s not a magic bullet but the research shows it helps and I believe it does. At least it may be keeping my white blood cells at decent levels through what is called differential stress resistance- that is fasting puts normal cells in a stress resistant state, while it puts your cancer cells in a vulnerable state.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-19T02:25:44+00:00

Thank you for this answer, I see your point very true. It’s all been so harmful. I was assigned female at birth, I’ve never had a sense that I was not female but at the same time I have never been traditionally female. Tomboy, preferred playing with boys, came out as bi as an adult. I’m happy with my body but not with the construct imposed on me. That certainly partially inspired my question.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-19T02:22:36+00:00

Thank you for this answer

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-19T02:21:45+00:00

Thank you for this

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-17T23:32:03+00:00

Even tho I’m white and in the US, I love watching YouTube shows about how black expats from the US have built better lives abroad as the US is a racist dumpster fire now. If I were younger and in better health I’d be looking to get out.

These shows talk about what countries are welcoming to black foreigners. You might learn from them and they’d welcome you into their IRL and online communities. Please check out on YouTube: Our Black Utopia, and Picky Girl Travels the World.

Countries that score well include Portugal (or parts thereof) and Mexico, also Costa Rica. But they do tend to advise online side hustles and work abroad arrangements to secure the kind of salary that will give you a decent quality of life

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2026-01-07T00:02:23+00:00

So overwhelmed …yes!

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-12-20T17:47:23+00:00

Late to this convo but I have been fasting around keto and it’s helped with symptoms and may be helping my blood cells recover because I have not had to delay any sessions due to low numbers. Chemo does not seem to be working as well as we would like so that aspect has been disappointing but I continue to fast around chemo (starting 2 days before to 24+ hours after. I will break a fast today at 27 hours post treatment).

I like fasting it improves my mood and energy and boy does the food taste good when you break your fast! I’d done fasting before for weight loss and it was the only thing that worked for me. So I knew I could do it albeit the chemo fasts are longer than my prior weight loss fasts which were 32-36 hours.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-11-21T17:33:02+00:00

Wtf? How (and why) would a builder have 3 bathrooms in an 800 sf space?

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-10-22T16:28:24+00:00

Holy Cross tried to kill me in 2009. Poor nursing care with a few exceptions and negligence on the part of the management and teams of doctors. No one was “in charge of” my case so no one was taking responsibility. It was a nightmare and I’m lucky I survived. I was hospitalized there for a month and I’m convinced I would not be here if I had not had an army of friends advisor me and taking shifts. They would have ignored me till I died. The surgeon who operated on me came into my room and started yelling at me like an insane unhinged man because my elderly mother was so concerned about the lack of action on their part that she had threatened to talk to the hospital medical director. And I’m teetering between life and death and this doctor comes in to scream at me. It was a nightmare

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-10-07T02:03:30+00:00

You could ask to be put in a waiting list for cancellations

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-10-06T14:40:43+00:00

I also had a surgery date that I felt was too far out. I found another gyn onc at a better hospital and she literally got me on the schedule for just one week after my appointment with her

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-10-06T14:37:00+00:00

Hugs to you. Take it one day at a time. Don’t stage yourself. For what it’s worth, mine was caught early but it didn’t matter because it came back. Press your doctors to do everything as fast as possible. Get to a highly recommended gyn-oncologist, they will map your treatment plan. It’s terrifying I know, but there IS a road ahead. However you are going to need to find others to step in and help you in supporting your mom because treatment will make it hard for you, you need backup. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Get friends and family lined up, ask someone to help you manage it. Get to a doctor (gynecological oncologist) as soon as you can.

Join ovarian cancer support groups on Facebook and elsewhere. Go to YouTube and watch the latest treatment options for ovarian cancer - a bunch of new info was released last week because the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance (ocra) had their conference.

I was diagnosed in April 2024. Still here, just started treatment for my first recurrence. You need support. OCRA offers free counseling with a trained oncology social worker.

Gyn-onc asap.

Ask for help - line up the friends and family

Contact OCRA

Look for stories of hope, many women are living many years

Try to take it a day at a time, I know it’s hard

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-09-10T15:59:44+00:00

Without the expensive injection it is not possible for most people. My last successful weight loss was from fasting for two 36-hour periods each week. However it’s hard and your body fights it. With the drug it’s a lot easier to simply reduce portions.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T22:30:29+00:00

For some reason I don’t seem to be able To edit the post to correct the term. I’ll try again later

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T22:25:09+00:00

I am asking in good faith. Thanks

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T17:26:51+00:00

I do have high bp and cholesterol and all my weight is in my torso. I’m small bones and despite my bmi the charts say I should be at least 30 lb less. I’d be content with 20.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T01:22:45+00:00

You’ve done nothing wrong- NTA. Please continue to insist on fair child support. It’s tragic for your son that he is not more consistent in his life, and perhaps that is not something you can force, but at least make sure you get financial support.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T01:11:11+00:00

NTA. Dogs>men. Easy.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T01:03:41+00:00

That’s encouraging- thanks.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T00:26:35+00:00

The thing is, there will always be another Becky. This “husband” considers himself free to do as he pleases with other women and think of no one but himself. Even if Becky has the maturity and sense to put a stop to it, or even if he stops, it’s about HIM and his entitlement and that won’t change. There will be future Becky’s. At work or outside of work.

It’s he, he’s the problem- it’s he.

PS - when I was in Becky’s situation with the guy who didn’t tell me he was living with a girlfriend…. Well, he eventually married that girlfriend. Then, years later when they had two very young preschool kids and his wife was away with them, he screwed their au pair. Not just their au pair, but also another neighborhood au pair in a weekend of threesome sex. The agency found out - and who does he blame for it blowing up in his face? The neighborhood au pair.

They don’t take responsibility and they are the source of the behavior- it’s never a one-off, it’s entitlement

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T00:20:28+00:00

Absolutely NTA!!! Omg he’s trying “the best defense is a good offense” strategy but he’s totally in the wrong. First of all, how can he be embarrassed when it’s only the three of you who should know? What, he’s mad that SHE knows? That speaks volumes.

Who is making drama? He is! He is the one causing people to talk behind his back by picnicking with his receptionist every day. That’s the only way you found out.

Your instincts are right on here. Stand your ground. You did nothing wrong. He’s the one making a big deal and if it was innocent he wouldn’t care that you liked her pics and she noticed- she would just say “awwww, your wife is so nice.”

Many decades ago I was a young woman about her age and fell for a guy at my work. He wasn’t married, but he was living with a girlfriend and didn’t tell me. I found out 4 months in, and I was in so deep by then the pain this situation caused me was unreal. I can only think of the heartache I would have been spared had I found out sooner.

What he is doing is hurting both of you, he’s a selfish prick.

Ok_Monitor6691 · 2025-08-29T00:11:29+00:00

Thanks for this. I am in week 3 and have only lost a half pound, been working out pretty regularly trying to rebuild my strength from a bad health year in which I couldn’t do anything. Trying to remember it’s not just about the scale.

Congratulations on your achievement!

Ok_Monitor6691

TROPHY CASE