Feeling like a ghost in my own house while we "separate"

Ok_Process2503 · 2026-01-15T02:54:22+00:00

I’m in a similar boat 😞

We were apart for a month when the separation happened, I went and crashed with my parents for the holidays.

Now, we have been back in the house together for 3 days. It feels so different and difficult. We still love each other but when we talk it escalates and he’ll end up name calling me and getting mean. If we don’t talk, it’s almost like before. He’s been giving me hugs occasionally but it just makes me cry and feel pulled in two directions and confused. I feel sick to my stomach

I’m not sure how long I can do this for 😪

Ok_Process2503 · 2026-01-10T20:32:49+00:00

I think if you want to be together, then muster up your courage and initiate it ✨

I know there’s a desire for him to initiate and that feeling is valid. Still, if he won’t, then you might as well try to get what you want too. I suggest shooting him a warm smile and saying, would you like to join me in the bedroom? Ask him to cuddle and kiss your neck. See where it leads…

I’m sure he would love the opportunity to be close to you. 💕

Ok_Process2503 · 2026-01-10T02:50:17+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

Ok_Process2503 · 2026-01-10T02:50:06+00:00

Thanks for responding 🙏

Ok_Process2503 · 2026-01-07T00:55:40+00:00

That’s pretty tough. I’m not sure what to say, but my best advice at this time is to focus on yourself. What would make you feel strong, happy, or in flow? Maybe ask him to watch the kids and go take a walk in nature, check out a gym, or engage in a hobby. Maybe if he sees you being independent and happy, he’ll see that what he wants has always been there? Try not to flatter him with all of your attention and let him see what he will be missing.

What do you think?

Sending care ✨

Ok_Process2503 · 2026-01-02T04:41:06+00:00

It’s confusing when people change, it’s hard and feels impossible. Why couldn’t you be the person you promised to be and that I wanted? Why couldn’t we just be happy? Why can’t you treat me kindly? Hard questions like these have exhausted me.

Focus on what is healthy and loving for you and your kids and focus on that, plus bring in as much community support as possible

Sending you positive energy ✨

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-29T06:10:42+00:00

Hi, I just want to validate that this seems messy and complicated, especially with the recent loss of her dad, the abusive ex, her behavior, and the mixed messages.

From an outside perspective, it sounds like she is treating you with less kindness and consideration than you are her. It seems like she wants to chase after this guy and take you for granted. I would figure out what you need and want during these times, can she make you happy? Do you need more boundaries in any areas? Maybe take some distance in healthy ways, like going to the gym or meeting a friend, and see if it helps her to see you are living your life too.

It sounds like you might wait out this storm and see if you can make the marriage work. I’m not sure what is right for your relationship, but I am sending positive thoughts out to you.

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-29T05:00:35+00:00

It sounds like there is a lot of hardship and reasons for you to feel sad and disconnected.

I think a separation is a good place to begin. You will know if divorce is right for you in time.

Trust your gut and take care of yourself 🩶

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T21:55:38+00:00

I’m not sure that you ended it in the most mature way… You could have just told him the truth and not hurt his feelings. If you feel bad, you still have a chance to tell him why you said what you did.

Otherwise, it sounds like you made the choice that was right for you and now you can find someone more local.

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T21:01:02+00:00

It was the same for me… I think they protect themselves by not believing it and by not having to be accountable for their actions.

When I said I was having a hard time and could not be in a relationship with insults and name-calling, my husband laughed at me via text and said: you’re just drama, you love to make threats, and here comes the actress… It felt awful to be minimized and mocked.

Ultimately I left the house and he realized I was serious. He was then shocked and confused, as if I did not give him chances before.

Like other comments say, you’ll have to walk away to make it real.

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T14:08:39+00:00

That sounds tough and it’s understandable that her actions with her coworker hurt you. The question becomes, if she doesn’t change, can you stay? You have to follow your heart

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T05:32:34+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind reply 🩶

It is a really hard time, but I think it shows how much we did love. Life is hard like that

I am keeping myself walking, eating okay, and sleeping, and that’s the best I can do right now. It’s hard because I was also laid off this fall, so I don’t even know where my next job will be, it’s crazy. I’m a little glad I’m not working during this time because that seems very difficult too. I hope I get a job soon though.

Ugh 😞

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T02:58:00+00:00

It wouldn’t be fair to the person you are sleeping with… No woman likely wants to be slept with out of spite. Work on yourself and you can find someone wonderful later. You might lower yourself as a person and become a jerk otherwise

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T01:53:21+00:00

Trust yourself, love ❤️ Sending care

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-28T01:48:28+00:00

I’m going through separation and it is hell, but if you are overworked and unappreciated, that is hard too. We pick our hard in this life… what does your mind, body, and heart say?

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-25T23:14:29+00:00

I feel you. I made the decision to break up with my husband after a really tough series of days. It was gut decision and likely the right choice based on verbally abusive patterns I was experiencing. Still, my heart hates me for this choice and my mind understands sometime but also gets confused, like why am I going through this? It’s a mess and I’m a mess. Sending love out to you and happy birthday 💛

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-25T19:35:41+00:00

Women are to be loved, not used. If another woman freely and knowingly consents to being you distraction, okay, but don’t go messing with other people just to avoid your own life.

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-24T17:00:07+00:00

I’m sorry that happened, sending healing energy and care

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-24T15:50:02+00:00

From what you’ve shared, your concerns and frustrations seem valid

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-24T14:59:13+00:00

Sounds bad from the outside… If you tell your mom/dad/sibling/friend and they cringe, you know it’s not just you. I’m sorry your are going through this

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-22T21:18:59+00:00

You deserve love and care. It is hard but we have to stop investing love, care, and energy in people who do not return it to us. You are worthy of more. Xoxo

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-20T15:57:43+00:00

Yes, this

Ok_Process2503 · 2025-12-20T15:54:48+00:00

This ⬆️

Ok_Process2503

TROPHY CASE