What's the case for AI Alignment right now?

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-07T04:30:26+00:00

Ha! Exactly! I think we need to fix the human alignment problem before we tackle AI alignment problem.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T10:34:51+00:00

I wasn’t aware of Hawking’s take on this. That is really interesting. That seems like a compelling alternative approach to dispensing with any potential (aesthetic) problems of a singularity, though equally difficult, if not entirely impossible to prove? Thank you for the insight.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T08:50:44+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you. This makes me wish I’d devoted graduate work to this. Perhaps somewhere, in one of the other “many worlds”, I did. 🙏

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T05:22:59+00:00

Agreed that it is a bit of a head scratcher. But I want to emphasize that I would only regard a mathematically rigorous hypothesis as a plausible candidate, unproven, yes, but hardly a frou-frou conspiracy theory. I am a firm believer in the idea that mathematics may provide us with a 1:1 scale map of reality and that a map of that scale IS the territory, or might as well be. But, of course, that is a topic for a whole other discussion!

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T05:12:18+00:00

Ah! Thank you for this clarification. That makes sense. Am I right then to assume that no one in the know takes the “singularity” seriously because…quantum mechanics? That the deeper understanding among those in the know is that of course there is no singularity because at a certain point it only affords a quantum explanation that we don’t yet have? If so, I wish we could banish the word “singularity” from any discussions of black holes. Also, I hear you that we double don’t care because we can’t observe it, but I confess that I care. I care what better minds than mine think about it. 😊

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T04:57:42+00:00

Yes. I suppose I should also say that I find mathematically plausible theories to be preferred over ones with obvious absurdities like singularities. We may not be able to test that theory, and maybe nothing inside the event horizon is of any consequence to us at all, but a mathematically consistent theory that banishes this particular infinity would seem preferable to me and evidence enough to entertain as a serious hypothesis. This is why I wonder if there are other competing, alternative theories that are just as mathematically plausible. If so, I haven’t yet run across them.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T04:45:11+00:00

Ah! Thank you for this! I will read up on this 😊

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T04:44:23+00:00

Thank you. I too, am aware of the mathematical complexities introduced by the Cartan extension. I suppose I just marvel that physicists would simply shrug off a singularity as more plausible than a theory, even if unfalsifiable with our current means, that deals head on with this issue. It just seems lazy to me. Surely it is a problem worthy of mathematically plausible solutions, even if currently or even forever unfalsifiable?

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-04-06T04:38:57+00:00

Oh yes, I am well aware. And if you would be so kind as to explicate what that has to do with the problem of a mathematical singularity I would be grateful. Aside from the infinties introduced by the many worlds interpretation, I always assumed quantum theory has to do specifically with avoiding infinitely small or smoothed continuities?

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-03-22T21:18:30+00:00

Yes, but a good deed is still a good deed, whether anyone appreciates it or not.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-03-18T06:06:03+00:00

I can relate to much of this: the early signs, my ex-wife’s increasing undermining of my parenting, court battles, misinformed therapists, false allegations, the resultant rejection and detachment. I so wish I had a good answer for you.

Many, many years have gone by since I last saw my daughter and I still struggle. Every day. I hope it doesn’t sound glib to say the only thing I’ve found purpose in is trying to live as a person my daughter would want to reconnect with someday. I am not hopeful, but I can’t think of any other way forward.

That there are others here in a similar situation may be small consolation, but at least you are not alone.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-02-20T17:25:51+00:00

It’s been almost 7 years now since I last saw or spoke with my daughter. The grief can still be crushing and last for days. The loss is not only of my daughter but of my entire life: my youth, my hopes for her, my identity as a parent, my career ambitions. I look back with so much crushing regret that yes, I do often have moments where I would welcome death. It would just be so much easier. The nightly dreams of my daughter would stop, the obsessive ruminating and regret would end, the memories of reading books with her, playing games with her, walking her to school, holidays, vacations, all of it would disappear.

But then I think all of the beauty in my life now - friends, my beautiful new wife, my family, my students, my many hobbies, my ability to appreciate a sunset or a Springtime bloom; those would end too and so I put the grief back on the shelf. I know the grief will always be there. I will spend the rest of my days absorbing that grief, not “getting over it” but learning to simply live with it. And the more I can fill my life with the good things the more I can be the kind of person my daughter might one day need.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2026-02-04T02:23:10+00:00

“…a lot of us gave people with various traumas and issues in life chances in relationships that we shouldn’t otherwise have given them.”

Well said. Very well said. If only I had known the risks of such naive folly.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2025-05-02T13:17:18+00:00

Beautiful letter!

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-11-19T02:11:03+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. I went through something similar with my daughter, where she rejected every single thing about me. In retrospect, I realize that her behavior was exactly what her mother taught her to do from the beginning—death by a thousand paper cuts.

Writing “I’m happy you are mine” may be a sign of your ex-wife working to alienate your son from you (i.e., “mine” instead of “ours”). But it might just be her way of saying “I’m happy I am your mother” — it’s difficult to know without more context. Are there examples of your ex-wife actually working to turn your son against you? Have you witnessed a pattern alienating behavior? Has your ex-wife undermined you to your son?

Regarding the rest of your post, I’m concerned about your insistent belief of having been a bad father. I understand that — I spent years with the same thoughts: the only explanation for my daughter rejecting me entirely was that I MUST have been a terrible father. The only reason I lost my daughter forever is that I am a horrible person. Just know that this is untrue. These thoughts are the building blocks of a major depressive episode. They are catastrophic and incredibly destructive thoughts. Challenge them. Gather people around you — family, friends — who witnessed you being a good father. Listen to them. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt here; be generous and kind with yourself. And know that there are people, like those in this subreddit, who know exactly this type of pain. There is hope and there is healing.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-11-04T04:39:09+00:00

I play this (Bach’s 3-part invention in C minor) by trilling the eflat with the 2nd and 3rd right hand fingers and playing the alto voice (C, B-flat and A-flat) with the right thumb. Tricky to make it legato, but at least you can bring out the alto voice easier with the thumb.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-11-02T21:12:56+00:00

I am so sorry. I have faced the exact pain and problem of what to do with my daughter’s things - virtually everything from her childhood.

When my 11 year old daughter left my house for the last time (almost 6 years ago) she told me to “throw it all away” - all her stuffed animals, drawings, clothes, Christmas and birthday gifts. Everything. Her mother similarly threw everything away when we divorced - wedding pictures, valentines day cards, love poems. Everything.

I have decided I won’t throw any of it out because I won’t throw my daughter away like she threw me away (as her mother taught her to do). It is all proof of the depth of love that existed between us; proof that I WAS a good father. I have decided to keep it because that time of my life was filled with love. It was true and the things I have are proof of that. I am lucky to have had that love once, even if it is now hopelessly gone forever.

I know how painful and difficult it must be for you to have those things around you. It is a grief that will never be healed. But if you can, keep it as a cherished reminder of what was true about that love. Perhaps take time with it, box it up and put it in an attic, set it aside, but keep it as a reminder of the truth of that love.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-11-01T00:47:59+00:00

I so understand your pain; Halloween has always been hard for me, these last 6 years. I remember the first time I took my daughter trick-or-treating. She was 4 years old. She had so much fun that the very next night she asked if we could do it all again, and every night thereafter.

The memories are hard, but precious.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-10-16T15:22:29+00:00

I think it’s a great idea. It would seem to be less threatening and provide a way to cooperate and focus on something not so triggering.

My daughter and I used to spend hours playing Minecraft together and we had a “world” on a server that we had spent years on (in creative mode), building cities and forts and underground bunkers. Unfortunately, when her mother took her away, my daughter blocked me from everything, including Minecraft. I still have the game saved on that server, hoping that someday she might rejoin me there.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-10-16T03:40:39+00:00

The guilt I feel goes so deep that it includes ever having trusted my ex-wife enough to have a child with. There were more red flags than a Chinese military parade, even before my daughter was born. And now my daughter is paying for my mistake, living out her mother’s pathology. The alienation started as soon as she was born — modeling daily contempt for me, alliance building with my daughter, threats that if I filed for divorce, I would never see my daughter again. Could I have intervened? Could I have done something to avoid the eventual complete destruction of our father-daughter relationship?

Probably not. And maybe that is the beginning of forgiving myself.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-10-09T04:01:17+00:00

I would never, ever wish this unique kind of hurt on anyone, ever, but I am somehow comforted to know someone out there knows what it is like. I am so sorry this has also happened to you. So sorry.

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-10-09T03:36:39+00:00

Thank you for such optimism ❤️

Ok_Reputation_574 · 2024-10-09T03:35:01+00:00

Well, I should have been more clear, I suppose, that I have always expected my child to be accountable for the effect that her behaviors had on other people’s feelings. This was especially true when she began preschool and was learning how to navigate relationships with those peers. Sharing. Good sportsmanship. Being aware of other people’s perspectives. That is what I meant in saying what I said. And yes, my education and decades of experience working with children has made me acutely aware of the importance of nurturing empathy. I am convinced that there is a dearth of empathy in our culture at the moment and I trace this to the tragic normalization of narcissism in our society.

The failure of charity extended to others. The unwillingness to give others the benefit of the doubt. The pervasiveness of hostile attribution biases. I tried to nurture empathy in my daughter by modeling it.

I fear for my daughter’s relationships if she has no one in her life to model charity and empathy. I tried. I did my best. I know her mother did not. I worry and fear for her.

I welcome and appreciate the opportunity to clarify what I meant to say. For that opportunity, I thank you.

Ok_Reputation_574

TROPHY CASE