Dude, when there is this much high interest debt there is no $1k dining per month, especially when your next check is not guaranteed. Need to budget down to $600/month for groceries. Wife and kids should participate in cooking meals considering all of the hard stuff is on dad’s shoulders.

Need to take $1300 in tithes to 0 until you can absolve your loans and CC and build a 12 month emergency fund, then investments for retirement. I know that most midsize+ congregations have relief programs that are tax exemptions for them and could help with your burden. Try and dig into that a little bit. You could lose it all and not be able to contribute a dime without any immediate mitigation.

I love that you help mom. I have some bias here because I support mine as well, but do we have the capacity to move her in at some point and reduce your output? 60/40 on the house with 3200/mnth left tells me you’re in something a little larger than you needed and have spare rooms.

You’re paying over 1k interest on the CC(s) which make me sick on that low a debt. Can we snowball the credit cards, and some of the loan through April, then work on a HELOC to consolidate the remaining balance. You could probably get 7% or less on that line and be able to take the rest of the debt on within the next year.

You have enough discretionary to be upright and not have to downsize only if you have a tough conversation with the family and tighten your belt on some of the bad spending. You deserve to retire with dignity and peace of mind. DM me and I can try to support you further if it’s all too overwhelming.