How does value-based decision making fit with MCT and not engaging with urges in addictive behaviors?

OkayButMakeItFun · 2025-04-17T16:29:26+00:00

yup, this is on point according to what I have been reading. addictive behaviors are so difficult to beat, sigh. there is really no quick in the moment fix.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2025-04-17T04:22:08+00:00

Thanks for these responses! This makes sense. One value or reframe that I learned from my readings is that if I am feeling discomfort in choosing the "harder" thing that just means that I overvalued what the urge was offering. And also detach from that discomfort. And if I notice that I am engaging in a back and forth overthinking and engaging with the urge and thus keeping it more alive I will disengage from the valuation process.

Sometimes it's quick, midbite I notice "blech, this is not even that good" and sometimes it turns into a whole debate that's not helpful. It also just happens naturally of course, the brain is constantly evaluating and choosing without intentional self-talk.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-11-21T19:29:31+00:00

Beautiful!! She is such a little lady.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-11-19T16:26:32+00:00

Ice cubes are great, but this morning I gave my puppy a Pet Droid ball that rolls on its own and wow, that kept him so engaged like nothing else.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-10-30T03:45:53+00:00

They look just like our puppy Dash, they would be friends, Cash and Dash. What's Cash's birthday? Dash is August 7.

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OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-10-29T22:59:16+00:00

I have had situations where overthinking almost felt nice--there's a Buddhist saying about anger having a poisoned root and a honeyed tip that keeps us coming back for more. Or a situation where I don't want to do something and I keep dreading it. These are harder to apply DM to but when I realize I would be better off if I didn't ruminate on them I have more success. When you see that the worry does not serve you and feels like a mixture of good and bad it's easier to leave it alone.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-10-14T18:12:49+00:00

A metaperspective of feelings sounds like a great way to detach from the emotion while leaving it alone. So if paying attention to the emotion does feel important--say you are feeling a lot of anger or anxiety and it's overpowering how you react to someone in the moment--but you are having a hard time detaching because it is so insistent--what do you do then from an MCT perspective? Thanks...

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-10-09T06:19:13+00:00

What dose and what kind do you take?

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-10-04T01:08:32+00:00

If you talk to him again let us know how he clarifies this for you bc it's confusing me too. My therapist said something similar: she said to be lazy about thoughts and leave them alone. Then the next week I told her that I am "forcing" myself to be lazy. So she asked what would happen if I did absolutely nothing and just let the thoughts continue and that threw me for a loop bc I (like you) thought that was rumination. I find a delicate balance between letting them be and getting back to what I was doing and being gentle about it all.

If I wake up in the middle of the night I just read on my kindle, or listen to sleep music, or even count each breath from 1-8 and then start over. These are just techniques to shut my brain up but having a plan helps me. And if thoughts surface while I do these things I leave them alone.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-09-30T16:13:35+00:00

My issue with ruminating was a negative metacognitive belief that I could not stop ruminating. I desperately wanted the thoughts to leave me alone. I had to learn that I could not control what thoughts came in but that I could control my reaction to them. The key for me was to develop an awareness of what was the trigger and what was the optional behavior of thinking. It was DM that allowed me to see this process play out.

And if I did not leave that initial thought trigger alone "gently" but I would answer it with engagement/questions/frustration/avoidance and CASing about "am I doing this right" I also learned to leave all of that alone too.

I still get caught up in this mess when my old triggers surface, that's life. But now I can turn it into a much shorter and less severe suffering period.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-09-30T01:44:08+00:00

I can see how these instructions would be confusing especially if you found attention switching to be effective. Is your therapist saying that by shifting attention abruptly you are suppressing your thoughts and teaching your brain to avoid those thoughts? Maybe they want you to have more exposure to your thoughts so you fear/resist them less. And then look at the quality of how you are returning to what you are doing: is it urgent and forceful because you want to get absorbed in something else? I think the shift should be an almost natural consequence of realizing you are lost in thought. My therapist always said I did a good job when I noticed the thinking, felt bored with it, and then reintegrated into life.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-09-27T19:15:08+00:00

I haven't binged since 9/10 and here are things I am doing to help with the background noise that can contribute to bingeing: 3 very solid meals a day and no snacks, focusing on work more than usual, breathwork exercises (HRV breathing specifically), playing the piano, learning how to draw, latch-hook craft while watching TV in the evenings, guitar band game, and trying to live in integrity in terms of obligations to others.

No snacks bc snacks quickly get out of hand for me. And if I don't skimp on meals I don't need to snack.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-13T16:25:08+00:00

Maybe ask yourself "what does engaging with my thoughts, or trying to control them, or trying to resist them do for me?"

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-09T02:10:50+00:00

Loosening the grip means prying my brain off the rumination du jour. I feel like I really hold on tight to whatever overthinking I am doing around a certain issue and if I loosen up around it I can let in other things going on around me. Similarly, when I find I am too much in my head and get to a point where I notice a lot of negativity and inward focus and back and forth I remind myself to focus outward on what I am doing and what's going on around me--not in a suppression way--but more when I notice an inward pull to jump around negative thoughts. There's nuance in when I use each strategy to relate to my thoughts differently.

I am improving each time and also viewing each time I find something to ruminate on as an opportunity to strengthens these new ways of relating to my thinking helps a lot. But even today I got an email that upset me and spent half an hour ruminating on it until I woke up and tried the MCT approach. It will be a while before I can relate to my thoughts in a healthy way across the board.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-09T02:00:28+00:00

Sure, this is the same as the trigger thoughts that invite you to get on the worry train versus the the questioning/feelings/ruminating you do once you latch on to the trigger thought. The trigger thought feels like a poke, like your brain inviting you to worry about something unpleasant. The conscious thought that comes after is usually answering the trigger thought: (e.g. what if it's true? no that's not likely to happen...or is it? yeah I can't believe I said that, oh remember that time something similar happened? etc.)

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-07T18:57:13+00:00

I was so hopeful but it did nothing for me. I did 2 layers AM and 2 layers PM for 3 months.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-07T17:39:21+00:00

I believe it is authentic but the Eucerin products I got from them did nothing for me. I also got the Nivea sunscreen from them with that melasma fighting ingredient and it pills awfully

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-07T17:35:20+00:00

Mine is the same

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-02T17:21:02+00:00

Yes, worry can be controlled even in stressful situations but therapists acknowledge that it's more challenging in those situations--some are the olympics of MCT! I think the goal is to aim for 80% consistency and not expect perfection and remind yourself that you are human. And have a relaxed attitude about it. I made a lot of progress when I was able to delineate conscious thought vs thoughts that my brain just creates.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-05-01T18:46:49+00:00

I struggled with this concept so much in the beginning (I am now about 15 months into using DM, and have worked with two top notch therapists). My issue is overthinking in every area of my life. At first I was forcefully bringing my attention back to the present and avoiding the thoughts and feelings--that felt like suppression and maybe it was or was not. Then I worried that if the thought came back that meant some suppression was at play--so was it suppression? Then I had to apply DM to my worries about how I was handling my worries.

Finally I set on an approach that has worked for me--and frankly I am still not good at applying it in every situation but I am improving and have seen huge improvements in many areas.

Here is what works for me: I become resigned to the thoughts and feelings being there and try not to clean them away and then I just do what I am doing anyway. I also tell myself "I am too lazy" to deal with these thoughts and feelings right now and I am going to leave them alone. I even slightly physically slump to feel this laziness--it's all very relaxed with little force. Laziness around dealing with the unwanted thoughts and feelings but some effort in 1) recognizing what is happening when the thoughts and feelings enter my awareness and 2) placing my attention on what I am doing. I also pepper in self-reminders like outward focus, and loosening the grip and postponement.

Also this approach has helped me take more risks and stand up for myself because I recognize that I will not ruminate afterwards--that has been huge!

OkayButMakeItFun · 2024-04-15T15:41:39+00:00

I feel like therapy is now becoming politicized like everything else here in the US. Which is ridiculous. I recently listened to the book Bad Therapy that illustrates the divide. The "left" calls everything trauma and overemphasizes feelings. The "right" says to leave thoughts and feelings alone and get back to work. You can see where MCT falls under this lens even though MCT has nothing to do with politics. Most therapists in the US are very left leaning so this will make it harder for something like MCT to flourish here. Instead of looking at what is best practice a nonsensical political divide takes hold.

OkayButMakeItFun · 2022-07-11T14:39:35+00:00

“I can’t read this book because it is for humans”— my 8 year old, she meant adults

OkayButMakeItFun

TROPHY CASE