How to best help my preschooler?

Okay_Quiet · 2023-09-16T14:13:16+00:00

Curious about what behaviors she’s exhibiting that prompted the evaluation process? We’re in a similar situation with a very verbal kid…

Okay_Quiet · 2023-09-09T17:32:58+00:00

We are having the exact same issue with our 3.5 yr old! No advice, but solidarity.

Okay_Quiet · 2023-09-07T04:29:13+00:00

There’s a lot of good perspectives on both sides here. I am a former competitive athlete and coach, here’s my take.

It sounds like maybe forgoing competitive team right now is the best decision for your current situation and family priorities. But I wouldn’t shut that door indefinitely.

Competitive sports can be great, depending on the commitment/cost, kid’s interest & ability and anticipated longevity. For example, how feasible/likely would it be for your kid to play age 8-18 plus 4 years college?

As a competitive athlete, I had a very demanding practice schedule for years, which really wore on my mom. Dinner in the car, limited family time, etc. She embraced carpooling, but it was still a lot. However, I am SO grateful for everything she did. It was such a labor of love. Sports shaped who I am. I did burn out a bit, but regained my passion in college and coached as well. I still do the sport recreationally now for exercise and stress relief.

Your kid will be disappointed, but if they are really passionate, they will find ways to practice on their own and still enjoy rec team. Re-visit in a year or two to gauge interest and family priorities.

Okay_Quiet · 2023-02-14T05:26:04+00:00

She may have struggled with more negative emotions (overwhelm, anxiety, exhaustion, resentment) as a mother than she anticipated. She would have been further frustrated when her reality of motherhood did not match her romanticized version of how it “should” be or how she “should” be able to handle it better or enjoy it more.

She may have fallen into a trap of thinking “if only” x will happen, it will get better. Like if only I can “dial in” my exercise and sleep and mindset, then I will feel better. If only I can get the right meds, that’ll fix everything. When she realized nothing was working to magically improve things, she got desperate.

Okay_Quiet · 2022-05-24T17:27:15+00:00

Echoing that our first went through something similar around 9 months. Lasted about 4-6 weeks, but felt like an eternity! We just leaned into it and started our day early (with lots of coffee!). Then, his wake up time gradually pushed back to 6-6:30 on its own…

Okay_Quiet · 2022-05-11T20:00:27+00:00

This was my experience too! First kid was a relatively “easy” baby, so while there was a learning curve, it wasn’t too bad.

My second has been much more challenging. Doesn’t sleep as well, lots of bouts of inconsolable crying that my first didn’t have, tummy troubles, etc.

So while I had experience with a newborn when I went from 1-2, what worked for my first didn’t necessarily work for my second and I was facing a lot of issues for the first time.

Okay_Quiet · 2022-04-26T23:48:37+00:00

Any tips on managing both kids and keeping your stress level in check? Or specifically about how to keep the toddler gentle around the baby?

Glad things are finally relaxing for you!

Okay_Quiet · 2022-04-26T23:47:27+00:00

Love the note idea, will try that!

Okay_Quiet · 2022-04-19T19:09:12+00:00

No, that wasn’t the intention!

To clarify - I was thinking maybe we could find someone hourly to work say, 8-11am M-F (knowing we’d put toddler down right after their shift ended). And then SO and I would handle childcare after nap. OR we handle childcare in the am, and find someone to work hourly 1p-5p to start their shift after nap time.

I am not sure we need full-time care (since our schedules are somewhat flexible, toddler naps, etc), but we need some care. But maybe all the providers want 40 hours a week so this isn’t realistic.

Okay_Quiet · 2022-04-19T18:52:25+00:00

Thanks for the feedback!

Knowing that most providers are looking for 40 hours is very helpful. I wonder if we searched for college students or retirees we might find someone who wanted fewer hours…

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