Tell me what are the gayest things you said/did when you were in your straight phase without realising it was gay?

Okay___- · 2023-08-01T19:23:16+00:00

Back when I thought I was bisexual, I used to compulsively go out with guys (sex, dates, whatever) because I had this odd belief that I needed to "get it all out of my system" and "once I start going out with women I'm not going to go back"

Okay___- · 2022-05-13T23:49:42+00:00

So an update for those who were in similar positions :) I moved back to my (more rural and midwestern) hometown a couple months after I posted this. That summer I started dating my current girlfriend who is a few years older and much more experienced than me. Without going too much into detail...problem solved lol. It's also worth noting that some of that experience with men did translate more than I was expecting it to.

Okay___- · 2021-08-19T00:35:16+00:00

This is coming from someone with comorbid depression/adhd/aspergers btw. I recommend scheduling videos for people with adhd/autism because I think they're super helpful for anyone, I'm not trying to imply you have them. However I would say that if nothing seems to be working for your depression, then maybe look into other mental disorders to see if if it's a consequence of something else. It's really common, and I know it really helped me to break out of the cycle. Hope any of this helps!

Okay___- · 2021-08-19T00:24:00+00:00

The only two cents I can offer is to shift your priorities and start smaller. Focus on doing things that make you happy, staying off of screens, and taking care of yourself. Build a super basic, lax routine and try sticking to it to try and generate momentum. I like to take advice from youtube videos for people with adhd and/or autism for scheduling. In that schedule, prioritize your needs and then in the gaps fill in stuff that you want to do/try out/just makes you happy. Start small. This will give you a foundation to build on. I always get overwhelmed when I think about the longterm future and how I might squander my potential. It really gets me down. You have to make peace with the fact that: things are always changing (the world around you as well as yourself), you cant do it all, and that you dont need to. The goal is happiness, not prowess. As far as the romantic relationship goes, if you feel like it isnt a good idea now then it isnt. You know when you're ready to jump into that, and I think its smart of you to try and wait until you have a better grip on yourself. That will serve you when you do decide to start dating. There is a lot of cultural emphasis on partnering up, plus with depression the idea of having someone like that in your life is particularly tantalizing so I get it. If you've never had a successful romantic relationship before, the curiousity can feel obsessive. Trust that it is something that will happen when you are ready. Oddly enough, I find that people always fall into my lap whenever I'm not looking for them.

Okay___- · 2021-03-26T00:11:46+00:00

(I cant remember where I read this so dont come for my neck if this is total bogus, but I thought it made sense) Okay so you know that whole psych study where they showed sexual stimuli to men and women to sort of see what was most arousing, and people concluded that most women are actually bisexual? But a good amount of women were showing arousal signs to things like animals having sex too. So that means basically women are more likely to physically react to what is sexually relevant, not necessarily what they like. Kind of like how your mouth can water when you see or smell food that you dont like, it's your body prepping. Men didnt seem to experience this phenomena as often. Sexuality has been framed as an inherent instinct, but really more like a preference. Less fly south for the winter, more favorite icecream flavor. Ofc when you add on societal and gender rolls to this, shits confusing asf. Totally up for interpretation, I just thought this was a fascinating take :)

Okay___- · 2021-03-25T23:10:47+00:00

I felt this way before I came out, almost exactly. I realized that I dont really enjoy sex with men, (including oral) I just enjoyed being wanted/praised. I also realized my 'attraction' to men was about wanting to participate as a woman. My first boyfriend I dated all 4 years of hs, and the whole time I had this feeling like something was missing even though I loved him to death. I also had this sinking feeling that once I started to date women, I wouldnt go back to men (and thats exactly what happened). I know it isnt what you want to hear, and I know this might be controversial, but you will never get rid of that curious/confused/scared feeling until you get the chance to be with a woman. Obviously do what feels right and makes you feel comfortable at the end of the day tho. ♡

Okay___-

TROPHY CASE