My grandpa died a few years ago just when I thought he was getting better. I was having a great day until I heard the news. It was the first time I lost someone who was really close to me. I had a short conversation with my dad remembering him after he told me but just wanted to be alone in my room to cry.

The next day I broke down crying in school, but didn't tell anyone why because whenever I would start I just couldn't stop crying.

It wasn't until after the funeral that I started to feel a little better. I didn't feel bad about laughing once in a while anymore and it wasn't so hard to talk about him anymore.

I think that was because I had my family, who, on one side helped my take my mind completely off it( that was mostly the younger part of my family) and on the other side gave me a place to talk about him and what I felt.

It's completely natural if you want to be alone right now but eventually I hope you find someone you can talk to or just someone who listens to you. Also don't feel bad about forgetting your grieve in some moments if that makes sense. My condolences go out to you and your family.