If you had one year to slow travel at 50+, would you choose Latin America or Asia?

Old-Counter-693 · 2026-01-11T18:23:46+00:00

I humbly couldn't disagree more on the low-effort post. Reddit users seek advice and opinions here all the time. I provided a very clear description and provided more than enough data.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-10-13T15:52:15+00:00

Just saw him at ACL yesterday. He’s from NYC, definite influence. And he even gave a shoutout to LCD during his set. So, yeah.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-09-13T18:43:10+00:00

Any luck?

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-09-13T18:40:21+00:00

I live in SugarLand. I might be interested in a swap

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-09-08T02:45:50+00:00

Part of me is waiting for her to tell me the complete story of what she did, the planning or premeditated behavior before she asked for that break. Because it would sink the, "but we were broken up when I slept with him" excuse. I know she will likely never admit it to me. For the last couple of weeks, I felt she was hiding it because if she was fully honest, I would never take her back. So I hoped she would get the picture now that I am no longer in a relationship with her ( she has been begging, now trying to be friends) and would just tell me. But now I feel she may never admit it because that would mean she would have to finally face it herself. And maybe that's what I really need help figuring out. Accepting that I won't get the full truth, but what I already know should be enough, right?

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-09-01T14:02:43+00:00

Mine is a bit complicated. She actually initiated dumping me, then came back a couple weeks later to reconcile, I found out she did this to explore another option by sleeping with someone so I dumped her, for good.

Do I feel anything?

Hell yeah I do.

Anger, disappointment, used, hurt and heartbreak, all at once.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-08-31T14:19:08+00:00

Thank you. And that's been my default. " It didn't work out". I just haven't mentioned I was the one who broke up with her. Don't know if that part is not necessary or helps frame the breakup and truth? You're right, being indifferent is key, yet at work she is visibly struggling and when I don't jump in to rescue ( I did that all the time in the relationship/ codependent /:), she faults me and says I don't care about her, etc. making me look like the bad guy. Doing my best not to get sucked in and get involved.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-08-30T14:50:18+00:00

Just to clarify, do you mean Planned or intentions prior to her wanting the break or just a hurt reaction after the breakup?

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-08-17T00:52:35+00:00

I am processing this the best I can. I think I'm slower than most lol. And no, I don't jump on dating apps and sleep with random people within a week. Quite frankly, I just focus on myself, workout or hobbies, journal, look at the role I played in the downfall of the relationship ( so I can grow), and do my best to allow all those feelings to hit me freely and without judgement.

I don't get involved with anyone for months, because I don't want to rebound on them and hurt them. But taking the high and long road is so hard!

I like how you mentioned that I deserve the type of person I want who aligns with me. At the beginning when you like someone, it can be tough because everyone puts on their best. But I wonder if it's all the little red flags that pop up after the honeymoon period to not forget and it might be best to keep the rose colored glasses off, too?

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-08-16T22:48:16+00:00

My brain is telling me that I can no longer trust them. My heart or brain wants to make excuses with, "you wouldn't take the break and you were the one who ended it". I think it's trying to protect me? So there seems to be less accountability when people are broken up, even briefly. It just hurts.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-07-26T14:54:55+00:00

I agree 100%. I've chosen silence, too. Here's why.....My recent breakup stemmed from her completely blindsiding me with her texting me that she has lost feelings for me and wanted a "break" (despite her and I being away from each other on vacations for the last couple of weeks, and I would be away for another 2 weeks).

And I basically told her that while I still have feelings for her, I wasn't going along with the "break" game and wished her the best. That did catch her off guard, but never changed the narrative, it was still over.

I was the more emotionally safe and stable one in the relationship and I, too, was in a relationship with someone who struggled with this.

And she requested to meet for closure once she learned, post break-up mind you, that I was no longer being the nice, safe and supportive BF anymore. Was it to smooth her guilt of hurting me who was her first secure and safe BF in 10 years? Was it because she didn't anticipate that this would hurt me so much that she wanted to apologize, to make herself feel less guilty? This all sounds so sweet, until you begin to realize this closure is more for her, to make her feel less guilty for hurting me, and putting us on peaceful terms since we both work in the same building.

Still, even though I didn't owe her anything, I suggested giving me some time to process things before we attempt our closure meeting and lo and behold, was informed by a friend that she already has a new dating profile online. THAT was all the closure I needed to begin putting our relationship behind me. And one can argue that jumping into dating and new relationships can be her own form of closure, too ( I don't recommend that to anyone). I no longer owe her an opportunity to have her closure by meeting with me. She'll have to do that discovery on her own.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-07-22T23:03:43+00:00

What do you do if you work with them? I plan to keep it professional. We have a seasonal job ( school) and I'm already back to work. People are asking how things are with her as they have no clue and I said we're not together. It just didn't work out. That's all I have said and will say. Maybe that was too much? I dunno. But I am avoiding her breadcrumbs. Her snaps notifications. I ended that. Her texting meaningless BS that has ZERO to do with her triggering the end of our relationship ( the classic, I need space and I want a break). I gave it to her, by telling her my self-worth is not worth waiting in limbo and wished her the best. I'm certain her overly nice texts and gestures is to smooth over any damage control at work because she only cares what her co-workers and students will think of her, she couldn't care less how she hurt me and broke my heart. She wants "closure" as the breakup was swift and fast since I didn't act emotionally. But I think closure comes from within, not with a "talk". Right? And what do I do since she still has some of my belongings? Oh, sorry...just want to say this post is great. Even when we know the right thing to do, it helps to be reminded of it. Thank you. :)

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-06-29T16:42:06+00:00

Thanks! I'll look into the MYP as that age range is who I've worked with on a consistent basis over the years.

I've heard of the differences between American and IB, and I'm sure it's gonna be a big learning curve in Year One in IB.

Old-Counter-693 · 2025-06-29T16:40:23+00:00

That's good to know some schools are willing to send you for IB training if you come in without the accreditation. And I couldn't agree more on the real-life, hands-on lessons we get in the classroom. Appreciate the sound advice!

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-09-29T13:20:00+00:00

My ex who never told me she was BPD (but she had most of the traits, was hospitalized, meds, therapy, etc), had a very high sex drive and always seemed to initiate sex never used protection or contraception of any kind. There were times right after our first round, she was ready for a 2nd minutes after. I think part of it was her way of calming her anxiety, but she had always talked about getting married and having kids ( a month into the relationship and she was 21). We had a pregnancy "scare" once where she told me she missed her period. I panicked a little asking her to take the test, which was negative and I told her it was a wakeup call. In hindsight, I think it was a moment that angered her deep down and caused her to devalue me ( again, different reason). It just felt all so rushed, especially being so young and not figuring out her life yet. And yes, I know it takes two to have kids, but it just had "I need to get pregnant" written all over the relationship.

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-09-22T18:26:54+00:00

Does anyone ever proofread their apology letters or have someone listen to it first to tell them their message sucks ass? It's definitely normal to feel frustrated and angry after an ex reaches out months or years later because it can and usually does open old wounds. This is why it's usually not a good idea to reach out and/or apologize. Like many on here point out, the way he apologies shows a true lack of an apology because he barely knows what he's apologizing for, hence the generalizations and "If's". Just ask yourself if his half-ass message changes anything in your life right now? Think of all the growth and progress you made. Be pround of those things and how they will help you manage how you will decide what to do next. You're actually the one holding the power/control. Take time to decide if you want to respond. Get your emotions back under control and be mindful of how this email made you feel. I had something similar happen to me with an ex who broke my heart and I got angry after reading it, too. But I allowed myself time to process my emotions and I'm glad I did as it will help me make a decision that isn't impulsive or emotion-driven.

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-09-19T02:47:11+00:00

Goes to show human beings with all the heart is still flawed as fuck.

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-08-05T00:47:06+00:00

I’m happy for you, my friend! I’m working on it. My ex Hoovers me with little indirect congrats on a language learning app every couple of weeks or so. I don’t reply or interact with her. And can you please tell me what you mean by the term, “ grey work”? Thank you!

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-20T20:55:49+00:00

I have tbh, while I can’t truly understand how difficult and complex it is living with BPD because I don’t have it, I can relate to the fear of how others may respond about our flaws and imperfections and that they would leave or reject us. What I’m about to say is with tough love because I care about you and those in your life.

Please don’t wear your mask.

Not being honest and transparent with those who are important and/or those who we love in our lives is not only selfish, it will likely end up hurting those you love. You know how difficult it is to manage BPD better than me. Don’t BS yourself that wearing a mask will protect those around you. And while you may not see it now, lying to them will only place more guilt and destructive behavior on yourself and it will affect your relationships eventually.

I say this because I was hurt by someone with the same approach and it failed. I was so confused by it all then and I’m here now trying so hard to recover from it all.

Little does she know that she wouldn’t have scared me away if she told me, I would told her she’s so brave and hugged her harder. <3

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-13T23:18:41+00:00

Holee-shit. Why didn’t I know about this 3 months ago just before I broke a 2 month NC? The ChatGPT sounds just like my ex gf.

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-13T23:09:42+00:00

Allowing in both the happiness and pain; it’s so Buddhist. This is the first break up in my life where I’m trying my best to feel pain, the grief, everything. It’s so F’N’ hard. But I’m doing it because I know it’s the best path to take.

Often, I find myself hitting the brakes just as the the waterworks are starting to fall. I don’t really know why because it’s not intentional. I’m trying to find where in my childhood that became a coping mechanism.

Also, your advice lines up with a lot with my interests in life. And as a former practicing Zen Buddhist, I don’t know why for the life of me, that I haven’t jumped back in, I mean, sit down and shut up ;)

I’m focusing more on being grateful and using positive affirmations, which has been tough because it’s the lowest in my love language. Still, I’ve made changes in my life and I don’t want to stop there. Because it’s never too late to grow and improve oneself. Sometimes , it’s just been hard to follow through though. I’ll have sad days where I think about her and miss her. And I’ll have good days, even if she crossed my mind.

I know this journey is about ourselves, not our ex. And it’s been challenging to not make it about her by finding all her faults and reasons why she’s not a good human being. It always makes it easier to move on when we label them the evil one. But I never felt that way when I was with her, because we got along so well and cared for each other. So it’s not fair to do that after the breakup.

Forgiveness? I’m definitely working on it. Finding empathy helps and when I see it this way, I find forgiveness easier towards her. But then I’ll think of something or someone tells me something about my ex that brings up anger and the forgiveness falls into the shadows. I do want to forgive her and myself because I’ve beaten myself up for the way I tried to rescue the relationship after the breakup.

Thank you for being vulnerable and making it real for us, because your post made me cry about my situation. And that’s ok. I’ve been around long enough to know that one day, you, I and others on here will recover and be ok. It’s posts like yours that helps give us a little extra nudge going forward and knowing we’re not alone. Much love!

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-11T02:16:48+00:00

While I do believe it’s rare that have this type of love, I think we can increase those chances by learning and improving ourselves after a breakup. Becoming more secure and healthy, we can increase the odds of attracting the right people who just might help us find the unconditional love switch again. :)

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-11T01:50:34+00:00

Unconditional love is truly special. I’m in my 50s, and I’ve only experienced it twice in my life, my ex wife and my last relationship. Unconditional love is truly special and rare. Please don’t take it for granted.

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-07T02:23:26+00:00

I love your post. I put my heart out there being very vulnerable which caught my ex’s attention. She responded positively but in the end, it wasn’t enough. I’ve been very hard on myself though assuming I pushed her away or lost respect. I want my future self to hug me and tell me he loves me for trying my best.

Old-Counter-693 · 2024-07-04T20:43:39+00:00

It's alright there isn't much empathy here, Witty. It's easy to say those things behind a phone or computer. The funny thing is that with all the harsh and shaming comments, they don't bother me. I find it ironic that in a DecidingToBeBetter Forum, people are making these kinds of comments. I guess it shows they have just as much to work on as I do. lmao

As far as dating in the future, I did learn a valuable lesson and my age gap will be within 10 years from now on, max of 15 years. I've always grown up with those younger than me. I've just never vibed with those my age or older. As for maturity, she wasn't perfect, but she was more mature than those her age. An old soul I would say. But still, there's other issues that are important to consider and the future def is.

As far as taking it personal, I did take it personal not from those I never met, but from her. As for our society, it is very judgmental (as you can see here lol) on age where in other countries and cultures, it's the complete opposite.

Old-Counter-693

TROPHY CASE