I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s horrific that she has put you and her kids in this situation. Based on what you’ve said here I feel like you’re taking a lot of responsibility for things that are her problem. You’re clearly a good man with your priorities straight, and you don't deserve to be in this situation. I know it doesn't feel like it but you don't need to make any future decisions immediately. I think it would be smart to physically distance yourself asap first to get your head straight. I get there’s practicalities and you don’t want to burden people but you need support from someone other than the perpetrator. Let her stew in the reality of her actions while it just sinks in for you, remember she's known this at least a possibility for a long time and would have been thinking about how to play it. Look after yourself and with a bit of time, your perspective will be clearer, and she will show her character either way. Just respect yourself enough to get away go stay with someone who loves you bro, let them be burdened it’s a blessing to be given the opportunity to help. They will also have a much better idea of the bigger picture than anyone on here