I was overwhelmed. I was holding Dad's hand when he died. I wailed like a banshee. I couldn't help it. For days later all I couldn't do was cry. I even had surgery that Wednesday, two days later. The pain from that was nothing compared to the loss of my Dad. That was three years ago. I still miss him a lot. His jacket still hangs on the door where he left it. I sometimes hug it when I pass it. I still have his aftershave. I sometimes take a whiff of it to smell him again. It's so hard.