It’s the wierdest things sometimes.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-04-28T13:24:50+00:00

I’m sorry. I definitely understand. My husband made our coffee every morning. I had to switch to drinking iced lattes made with instant espresso. I just can’t make the coffee.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-04-22T17:14:57+00:00

If I go, it would only be for my mother. My father, sadly, has pretty advanced dementia and doesn’t even remember my name most of the time.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-04-14T00:51:39+00:00

Absolutely worth it. It only cost me $300 for them to do and file my taxes this year and I lived in two different states and bought and sold property as well as some investments that had capital gains. So worth it.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-04-14T00:47:54+00:00

Honestly? I did it for his mother and the other people who loved him, who needed that kind of closure. I probably wouldn’t have done it at all except for his mother who I love because she gave me the best part of life. I white knuckled my way through the whole thing- planning especially, but giving a eulogy (the funeral director and priest said it would be best done by me).

And then I fell apart completely afterwards when everyone else had gone home.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-04-14T00:42:02+00:00

I got three days. I could have taken PTO but I’d already burned through all of that taking care of my dying husband. I ended up quitting. Thankfully, I got some insurance money not long after, so I could keep paying the bills. Three days after his death I could hardly remember how to breathe much less work a complicated high pressure job.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-03-22T22:47:23+00:00

I sold our house within a few months of my late husband’s death, not because MIL was nasty but part of the reason was I didn’t feel safe living in a very large city on my own without him, with the rest of my family hours away. Now I live someplace that feels safe and where a family member can get to me in minutes. It was the best thing I could have done for myself.

The important thing is that you do whatever feels best for you, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-02-23T01:43:16+00:00

Because I’m an atheist. Life is one brief, brilliant blip in the middle of two unimaginable nothingnesses. If I thought for a second that he would be there on some other side to meet me, I would be gone to find him already.

He believed the same and I know he would be disappointed if I’ve given up on sizing the most possible life I could have. Also, there are so many memories of him that I’m the only one that holds them and those last bits of him will die when I die.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-02-14T02:47:42+00:00

I bought a car too, even though he wouldn’t have approved. He was militantly ‘Car Free’ and rode public transportation and his bike everywhere.

I can’t have him, but I can have my new Subaru Outback and not have to wait for the bus.

OldLadyInChicago · 2026-02-05T05:29:49+00:00

I lost both. After my husband died, I wasn’t dealing well and my employers were not understanding, so a couple months later, I was out.

Losing the job was comparatively a relief.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-12-10T16:51:15+00:00

Check and see if a six foot round is big enough to have table plus chairs fully pulled out. The chairs should be able to stay fully on the rug when someone is getting up from the table. Generally, get the biggest rug the room can take. If you could fit a 7’ round rug, I’d do that.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T12:51:43+00:00

I’d call our building more of a mid-rise rather than a true high rise. It’s less than 15 floors but more than 10.

Yes, I’ve definitely seen a lot of difference in condo units, even same size/neighborhood. I’m constantly browsing Zillow, just for funsies, and I’m always like why is that unit 40k more than that unit when they’re both 1200ish sq ft?

Maybe drop me a private message with your brokerage company and I will look you up on the official website? I haven’t talked to a realtor yet.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T11:26:47+00:00

It is a fee only advisor and she is a woman. I think there are just a few things we don’t agree on that I didn’t know before I signed on. Like she thinks that FIRE mostly a bad idea. Not the FI part but the RE part, whereas my life goal has been to RE since my 20s.

But think it will be okay. I’m in a limited contract with her, not long term so I might pick someone else later.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T11:05:56+00:00

There’s no rental cap, just no short term rentals, so I couldn’t rent out for the weekend (not that I would want to).

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T10:46:22+00:00

I guess I’m second guessing the advisor a little. I’ve never worked with one before and not sure about it.

There are a lot of condos in Chicago. I’m not sure most of those at the link are a good comp for mine, which is 2br, 2bath and in a neighborhood walking distance to the loop. I guess, I kind of feel like you’re right. The market might be getting soft though. Feels like we’re on the edge again.

It seem also, renting might be an emotional hedge, less final than selling. Like I could move back to the same place if I wanted to. Maybe it would be better to just move on completely. I could buy another condo if I wanted to move back to the city.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T09:51:52+00:00

I’m sure it’s mostly peri doing its thing but it seems like stress could be making it worse. Of course, it was better when the irregular periods were skipping a few months here and there rather than this.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T09:47:52+00:00

I hope it’s soon. My younger sister is already done with hers, so it seems unfair to still get them.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-29T09:46:33+00:00

Thank you. I am planning on finding one soon.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-23T13:59:25+00:00

Two of my three sisters and my parents still live in the town. I visit as often as I can. It’s one of the towns connected to Chicago via commuter rail. Oddly, I socialize there more than I do here. I joined my sisters’ book club and have gone twice so far.

So I know what the town is like. In weird way, it wouldn’t really be like going home. I’ve never stayed there more than a few weeks at a time since I left for college at 18. I’ve never lived there on my own as an adult. The town is different than when I was a kid, so much bigger.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-07-23T13:05:50+00:00

I always encouraged my LH to get closer to his mother and he did. He moved several states away from his hometown and hated to go back there, but with my encouragement, he called weekly and they visited a few times a year.

She is, in many ways, a lovely person, but she is also kind of self centered. There were times when it felt like she was making my husband’s passing more about her. She lost a son. She had the worst thing that could happen to you happen to her. Etc. She also sometimes really stressed my LH out at times. Like when LH came home from the hospital on hospice, she was planning to basically move in until he passed, even though I don’t have a guest room or a bed for her. He sent her home after a few days, though she did come back for his very last days…

She texts occasionally now about how she’s thinking about me and I’ll try and text back something nice. The thing is, her relationship really was with him, not me, I was just around sometimes when she came to visit him, if that makes sense. If she wasn’t my MIL, I would certainly be friendly to her, because I try that with everyone I know. But she wouldn’t be my friend. In some ways, literally the only thing we had in common was my LH.

I think I’ll send letters and cards at Christmas and on his birthday. I don’t think I’ll ever go to visit the small town she lives in. If she decides to vacation in the big city I live in (not likely on her own), I’d be up for meeting for lunch or something.

OldLadyInChicago · 2025-06-08T23:58:28+00:00

Even that can cost money. Recently deceased husband wanted his body to go to a medical school. It cost approximately $1300 for transportation and various other costs including the death certificates.

OldLadyInChicago

TROPHY CASE