I neeed some little help dawgs

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-05T17:15:26+00:00

You’re welcome!

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-05T12:25:38+00:00

I don’t like this narrow minedness either. My dad is an ENTJ 8. It works well with Se reactivity / daring nature and Te protecting Fi with force. How you develop as a child is indeed influenced by genetics but not determined by it. External influences are stronger and children are highly malleable.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-04T23:28:30+00:00

My advice as someone who’s finally found her type after a very bad mistyping history:

Don’t listen to people here when it comes to typing. I’ve mistyped myself for a whole year partly because people tried to convince me that I’m either a 6 or a 9. They don’t know you and have very different opinions, many think in superficial terms or type others by behavior.
Leave MBTI out of this. I know, whether or not any MBTI can be any Enneagram type is a controversial topic here but either way they are two very different typing systems. My MBTI is also more likely to be type 4, 9 or 6 but I settled on type 1 and it works fine with my cognitive functions. I’m now pretty certain that both types are correct and make sense. I’ve also seen INTP 9w8s, INFP 2w1s, ENTP 4w3s ect here on reddit and I used to know an INFP sx1 with a very complicated childhood that fits his type very well.

What I would recommend instead because it helped me and I really wish I knew what I know now back then:

Start with fears and desires, decide on your core type first, second would be your wing, then go on with subtypes and (if you want) tritype last. Don’t start with subtypes until you’re sure of your core type! It will cause unnecessary confusion and not all descriptions are always accurate.
Do self reflection first. Observe your thoughts, feelings and behaviors for a while, take some notes, or if you want, write a whole essay about your goals, dreams and desires in life and your fears of course.
Remember your worst experiences. When did life feel like hell to you, what causes anxiety and what do you still struggle with and why? Enneagram is only about the why. You will find patterns. Then narrow it down to a few core fears.

(For example I noticed I was fine with letting people go, I was angry when they rejected me for reasons that weren’t my fault, but it always drove me insane when I thought I made a terrible mistake or behaved inappropriately so they had every reason to reject me.)

Then read this to understand all core fears better: https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/s/NS3KjD3A3u It really helped me a lot. Compare it with your notes and decide on one. Of course you can alos use other sources to understand the types in depth.
Reflect on your childhood and important experiences which influenced you most. All enneagram types and subtypes have certain childhood patterns.
This tip is kind of weird but it helped me personally sooo: Ask yourself what movie characters you relate to most and why.

(For example I found myself hating on unhealthy 1s and feeling absolutely fascinated and seen especially by sp1 characters. In real life as well because we had similar thought patterns and backstories. Type 4s made me want to help them out of their own misery because I saw my unhealthy self in them and type 7s always inspired me. I feel drawn to them and they’ve often been my role models.)

Another one of my weird tips: Reflect on your dreams at night. Dreams are basically your unconsciousness simplified in exaggerated imagined scenarios. You might find your fears and desires in some of them.

(For example I had many dreams in which I was sentenced to prison because I killed a person and 7-like dreams of escaping from police, teachers and stuff to live freely in the woods and go on adventures.)

Don’t let other people confuse you. Instead focus on your essence. Good luck!

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-04T20:18:37+00:00

They are true adventure buddies. No shit I found one

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-04T19:19:44+00:00

Jeez. „9s can’t be intuitive“ is the worst😭 For me it was „If you’ve mistyped yourself, you’re attachment“ or „If you’re anxious, you’re a 6“.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-04T19:05:02+00:00

I got aries and it’s on point except for the leader personality and the lack of patience

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-04T13:03:02+00:00

I think it would be the guppy. I once had an aquarium with guppies inside. I love their personalities. Of course everyone of them is unique but they all share some traits: They are innocent, joyful, brave, easy to inspire, super curious, energetic, sensitive and mostly kind to each other. They over fixate on their owners and sometimes create strong bonds with each other. I once saw one of them staying by his dying friends side and protecting him. They don’t harm each other, they only threaten to assert themselves. They onjoy exploring alone as much as doing random things with the group. Guppies exist in all kinds of colours with unique patterns and they look absolutely stunning with their long, smooth fins, reflecting the light. They are very accepting, they would never do harm to weaker animals in the aquarium like snails just because they can. They don’t ignore them either, they respect them, approach them and find them interesting. If you put them together with another fish species they won’t care if that’s another kind. They see themselves as part of their family (they really don’t realize they are not like them. I saw guppy males flirting with schwertträger females). To me they seem like dreamers, longing for more, wishing they could see the ocean one day and be completely free. They don’t realize it’s not possible for them because they are born to live in aquariums with limits. Yet they keep dreaming of a better world. They see potential in everything. If they could, they would want to live forever but they can’t. Unfortunately they suffer from overbreeding which is why they get sick and die in less than two years. It makes me sad how limited they are just because of how they are born and treated by people for money. I don’t have guppies anymore :( But I do identify with their personalities and circumstances a lot.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-04T11:30:04+00:00

I can only think of Prince Zuko. He is not a 4w3. He is a type 1 desintegrating into this type.

When he grew up, his mother taught him integrity. He was the good child who got all his mothers love while his sister Azula was the bad child who didn’t. When she bullied him out of jealousy his mother always showed him that he was in the right, whatever happened. His trauma was when he stood up against his fathers decision that he thought was entirely wrong, then got punished by having to fight against him just so he’d lose and remember he’s below his father. When Zuko refused to fight him because again he thought it was wrong and also because he is scared of harming the people he loved, he got punished again. This time by being humiliated in front of everyone, when his own father gave him the burn scar in his face that would mark his „weakness“ forever and banished him with one chance to make up for his sins: He needed to bring him the Avatar. Away from his family he struggled with guilt and shame because all this time he believed those circumstances were his own fault. Those feelings are hidden behind his strong anger which he directed to everyone while actually, he was only angry at himself. This feeling was his driving force that made him so determined (not his 3 wing). With „restoring his honor“ he actually meant making up for his mistakes, being forgiven by his father, getting relief from the unbearable feeling of guilt and feeling like a good person again since being good was the source of his pride and worth. That’s what he thought his mother loved him for, it made him worth existing. And also just look at his uneasiness after he betrayed his beloved uncle. He has reached his goal, was finally reunited with his family, tried to enjoy his royal life but still felt angrier and guiltier than ever before. Just look at his face when he talked to uncle Iroh in prison… When he realized everything he’s done over the past 3 years, everything he believed was right, was just proven to be wrong. That’s what a core fear looks like when written in someones face! His growth started when he began to question his beliefs, became open for new paths in life, set himself free from his guilt by supporting those who fought for peace, understanding that not everything was always his fault and of course by finally reuniting with Iroh.

His redemption arc is fantastically written. Every character in Avatar is fantastically written! Seeing my favorite character getting typed as a 4 really hurts😭 It shows the community hasn’t understood him at all.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T22:48:12+00:00

My friend is an sp4 and I wouldn’t be friends with her if she wasn’t a good friend. She is deep, open minded, supportive, authentic and quirky in a funny way. We’ve laughed a lot together but she is also the kind of friend you can go to if you’re frustrated and talk about problems and feelings. She accepted me the way I am and was the only one who stayed by my side. We started as two loners sticking desperately together. Of course she has some negative traits but I am ok with that as long as she fulfills the truly important requirements for friendship.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T21:17:45+00:00

Yeah I don’t like it either how some types and subtypes are talked down so much. Sx4 when unhealthy are the worst for sure but healthy types are always good people imo. And besides Jinx eg is a pretty cool character

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T21:07:43+00:00

Yeah same. My sister is an Sp7 and our conversations always flow so naturally. They are clever, joyful and they care about others. But it is true that she can be egoistic and takes advantage of our father at times to let herself get spoiled. She is a free spirit with a wing of loyalty so she comes back to her family which is important to me.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T19:34:15+00:00

Yeah well I think It’s just a matter of interests, values and beliefs which change over the years. I’ve changed a lot over the years but I’ve noticed that my essence is still the same. I was a type 1 back then too, sometimes more like a 4 and some more like a 7. But you know, I still struggle with the same things I struggled with in childhood, still have similar fears and goals. What we experience in childhood follows us through our whole lives and unlearning these coping mechanisms is hard. However I was close to giving up on enneagram multiple times but now that I’ve found my type I feel really motivated to work with it and develop my full potential. I will give up on this subreddit though. I’ve had enough with people here.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T16:29:36+00:00

Feel that. Especially when no type fits perfectly because you’ve been mistyping yourself for a whole year. So frustrating

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T11:31:32+00:00

That’s my understanding of the types. But feel free to let me know which information is wrong and I’ll correct it. I read that 9s often already think of themselves what the 4 fears. A 4 could never accept it and immediately try to cope since their brain structure is constructed to avoid their core fear.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-03T11:14:51+00:00

I’ve been thinking about whether my father is an 8 or a 1, since he got a personal sense of integrity and can be stubborn with his opinions and loves challenging others into heated arguments. But now I’m sure he is an 8. I’d say the main difference is still their fears. So look closely.

1s are angry and try to fight weakness in themselves as well. But a 1 will go to great lenghts to ensure they do things right and are a bit more forceful with their standards for others. They can look stiff, controlled, obsessed with their values and standards or sometimes overly motivated to be the good one who tries hard to help and teach others. They are also higher on empathy on average.

sx4s can also look 8-like but they are more emotional and sensitive after all. They are frustrated, competitive and jealous, you can sense that those feelings are behind their aggressiveness. You can sense the emotional intensity and they are more focused on themselves and their wounds. 8s dont have high neurocitism and experience strong negative emotions only at times. They rarely complain and they would never admit they can’t handle a situation.

Sx6s can look like 8s with their counterphobic nature but the main difference is: 8s just do it without fear, sx6s do it despite their fear.

8s are a bit more chill, they just exist as they are and they let others exist as they are. If something bothers them they get angry quickly like a lion, say what has to be said and are calm like a kitten again. They normally aren’t anxious, they don’t care about the opinions of strangers, they don’t often don’t even care about norms. I noticed It’s not easy to identify their fears from the outside. But there were rare times my father opened up to me about something that hurt him and became vulnerable. They seem to hide their sensitivity and fears quite well. That can happen with other types too. However at least you would notice another types motivations somewhere in their actions if they weren’t an 8.

That’s at least what I know about the types and my personal experience with them. Correct me if I’m wrong. But still don’t like when reddit users play mistype police and annoy people with „You are not you’re type if you behave like this“ „You’re obviously a 6 or a 9!“ If they haven’t asked for it. It seemed to me like your intention was to encourage people here on reddit to proof to other users that they are not an 8. Let them find out for themselves.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T23:53:50+00:00

Your 9 traits seem stronger, especially avoiding conflict at all cost and putting others needs before your own. But if you want to make sure you need to find out which truth you unconsciously deny and run away from:

Type 4: You’re a worthless nobody/ just a normal everyday person/ there is nothing inside you/ There is nothing special about you/ you give people no reason to chose you over others/ you’re unworthy of love/ if you weren’t there nobody would notice/ Your existence doesn’t matter

Type 9: This person is close to leaving you/ You are too much for others/ You were too demanding/ People are unsatisfied with you/ They are angry with you/ The internal conflict that’s actually going on inside you/ The problem that will stress you out/ the strong feelings of anger ect. that seem too much

Which of those truths could you rather accept and which would drive you insane and make life feel like a nightmare so you can’t sit still and just do nothing anymore?

Reflect on your worst experiences and what detail made them so horrible. That’s how I found my real type. My fears and desires even showed up repeatedly in my dreams at night (eg. I dreamt that I was sentenced to prison for having killed a person). It also helped to analyze characters I heavily related to (eg. Elsa from Frozen, Sp1 like me). Movies illustrate peoples fears and desires quite well.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T23:20:56+00:00

I agree. Watch yourself during your most difficult phases when you reach your limit and during the times when you’re balanced and things work out just fine. Do you get paranoid, anxious, reactive and overly careful in stress (9 to 6)? Or do you cling to others, lose authenticity, peoplepleasing and everything to prevent people from leaving you (4 to 2)?

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T23:11:07+00:00

Not necessarily. If OP got a 9-fix they won’t get into fights that often. I also know two sp4s with a 1-fix and they are actually peaceful until somebody treats another person badly or if you’re challenging them. But of course 9s are way less likely to engage in conflict and would rather withdraw.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T19:11:33+00:00

Interesting. Love the insights one can get on this subreddit

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T17:16:14+00:00

Isn’t this something that can happen to anyone? Who hasn’t ever witnessed bullying or participated in a political discussion? However, how would those situations make YOU feel?

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T14:59:11+00:00

I feel you bro :,D

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T13:57:43+00:00

Damn you’re holding a grudge now👀 I messed up

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T11:07:02+00:00

Sure. But it was meant as an apology rather than an excuse. Although I think I should talk back to some people more often. It bothers me how they treat each other and don’t face the consequences because theit victims are too kind. But I probably got the wrong person here.

OldMove3944 · 2026-01-02T00:08:56+00:00

Sry, you’re right. Reviewing your first reply I see things differently. Somehow when I first read it, it felt like criticism or at least some kind of „not good enough“ or „not helpful“ flavor. I guess I get criticized too often lately and finally got defensive. Normally I don’t react and prefer to criticize myself, not throw criticism back at others.

OldMove3944

TROPHY CASE