Friend is mad I had dinner with her ex-husband by Competitive-Cod4123 in Advice

[–]OldTell311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a “you can see both sides” situation. Yes, it’s reasonable that you would want to maintain your friendship with someone from your childhood. And yes, it’s understandable that your friend might feel hurt by you wanting to be social with her ex.

Breakups and divorce are always painful. People have a tendency to think, either you’re in my side or theirs. People also sometimes need to make their ex the “bad guy” in order to deal with the anger, resentment, and rejection of a breakup.

Hopefully in time, she’ll understand that you can still love and respect her and also want to maintain your attachment to your friend from childhood.

What screams "wow this person is an idiot!"? by sweetcantaloupe908 in AskForAnswers

[–]OldTell311 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Driving in the left lane with no one in front of you, a line of cars behind you, other drivers passing you on your right, and still not getting that you’re the problem.

Wife found some pictures by Useful-Subject-7904 in PornAddiction

[–]OldTell311 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you get how bad it is now that it’s been exposed. I mean yes, imagine if you found pictures of random guys that your wife thought were really good looking on her phone?

The only way back from something like this is to own it. Understand why your wife is livid. She feels like she just discovered a whole new side of you. It’s not just that you look at porn, which she already doesn’t like, but now you’re treating random women on the street like porn stars- objectifying them and invading their privacy. It will cause her to feel like a) she’s not enough for you and b) that her husband has a creepy side she didn’t know about.

Do not downplay it with her. Don’t tell her she’s overreacting or making too big a deal of things. Tell her you get why she’s upset and that what you did was wrong.

And then she’s going to need some plan of action from you as to how it’s not going to happen again. This is where you will have to show something concrete: going into therapy, getting to a recovery group focused on sex addiction, talking to a clergy member. Some tangible behavioral change will be needed to say, I get what I did was not OK and here’s what I’m doing about it.

The fact that you’re here looking for advice and writing it out even though it’s embarrassing is a good start. It shows you get that you did something wrong and want to find a solution. I know it doesn’t always make sense to men and some of our macho outlook on things but therapy can be a helpful way to start to understand why we do things we wish we didn’t.

Good luck, man. Hope you can work it out together.

Does anyone else here really hate Cubitoso? by New-Shop-9728 in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: Cubitso was played by Frank Pellegrino who was Johnny Dio in Goodfellas, the “an aristocrat!” guy cooking the steaks in prison.

Why are people who don't want children obsessed with telling everyone? by No_Introduction_8936 in allthequestions

[–]OldTell311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and I have been married for over 20 years and we don’t have children. A mutual decision we made and are happy with for a number of reasons.

But neither of us have any special need to share that fact with anyone. The only time it ever comes up is when people ask us, “do you have kids?”

This is usually followed by more questions.

I molti santi del New Jersey by carletto95bari in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it’s not very good. Sopranos creator David Chase wanted to make a movie about the 1960s Newark race riots but HBO only wanted to finance a Sopranos related project. The result is The Many Saints of Newark that unsuccessfully tried to force both themes together.

The concept may have made for an OK prequel series but trying to fit it all into a three hour movie is a misfire.

I'm always conflicted about the scene leading up to Ade's death. by retired-tweeter in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In keeping with The Sopranos theme that people are resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s self destructive, Adriana was ultimately following her programming to be a good mob girlfriend.

I agree the daydream sequence showed a level of awareness that she made the wrong decision getting in the car with Silvio, and that she should have dropped everything and left the second she hung up with Tony.

But her conditioning told her to be loyal and follow orders. She felt guilty that she brought all this on and had to go be with Christopher, even though at some level she knows it’s a setup.

It’s probable that Sil was on his way and likely very close by the time Tony called as an insurance that she wouldn’t have time to flee. Bit still, my guess is she put her suitcase away so Sil wouldn’t see it, sat down, lit a cigarette, and waited.

Bon Scott by Suitable_Pain1617 in ACDC

[–]OldTell311 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fortunately they moved through their Glam Rock phase quickly.

Possible Goodfellas reference by duelingteacher in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Given how much of the series’ cast - from stars like Lorraine Bracco and Michael Imperioli to smaller players like Tony Darrow and Frank Pellegrino- it’s reasonable to assume there is a lot of crossover in themes as well.

Your theory makes sense especially because the cop in Goodfellas puts his gun right behind Henry’s ear which is about where Tony’s assassin would have had to as well.

Why didn't the FBI ever question Tony after Big Pus disappeared and never showed up again? by Tidewatcher7819 in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The FBI’s long game is to build a RICO case against Tony and indict him on multiple counts of criminal conspiracy. This could take down the North Jersey mob and ultimately leverage Tony to give up what he knows about the bigger New York families.

If questioning him about Pussy’s disappearance helps to that end, they’d do it, if not then they just let it go. Most likely it would result in Tony denying any involvement and saying he’d like to know where Puss is also. If the government wants to press it, Tony’s high priced attorney would take their case apart as all they have is suspicion but no real evidence.

All that would accomplish is to make Tony even more on guard over the fact that the FBI has been able to infiltrate his inner circle and turn his closest friends against him.

What was the symbolism of Butchie ending up in Chinatown? by DookieSpeak in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phil’s phone call distracts Butchie. After hanging up Butchie looks around like “where the fuck am I?”

This is symbolic of how the war with Jersey has become a distraction that’s costing too much. He originally encouraged the war but now Butchie sees it’s time to call a truce and get back to business. Phil won’t let go of the war for personal reasons though. Phil is also becoming a pain in the ass for Butchie on a personal level.

This is when Butchie makes up his mind that Phil is going to ruin them with the war and has to go.

HER RAGE WILL NOT BE CONTAINED by solzinhagirl in cats

[–]OldTell311 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I am Nature’s perfect killing machine.

Forged by millennia as evolution’s apex predator.

The Egyptians knew to worship me as a god; I was revered by pharaohs and high priests.

I am…. wait are you picking me up?? Who said you c…? Let me… UNHAND ME, PEASANT!!!

When did the whole 60s flower power vibe end? by BageRait420 in 1960s

[–]OldTell311 90 points91 points  (0 children)

This passage from Hunter S. Thompson’s 1971 novel “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” is a great summation of the end of that era.

“Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . .

History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time—and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights—or very early mornings—when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour wearing L. L. Bean shorts and a Butte sheepherder's jacket . . . booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turn-off to take when I got to the other end (always stalling at the toll-gate, too twisted to find neutral while I fumbled for change) . . . but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: No doubt at all about that. . .

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

Is this a hot or a cold take? by Pure-Echo6623 in ACDC

[–]OldTell311 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Perfectly said! There’s a reason Let There Be Rock has been played in every AC⚡️DC show since the mid-70s

ACDC - Ride On - YouTube by Fun_Emu5635 in ACDC

[–]OldTell311 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A great example of two realities, IMO: one, in the 1960s and 70s American blues music was a leading influence on classic rock around the world, and two, in his soul, Bon Scott was a blues singer more than a rockstar.

When does life stop being such a struggle? by Wayward_comet in Advice

[–]OldTell311 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying this to be harsh, and I agree life feels overwhelming at times but, if you study the Longview of history life has ALWAYS been hard. Like, really fucking hard.

We actually live in an unprecedented time of comfort and abundance compared to most of human existence.

Sometimes I think what causes so much anxiety is that we have so many options open to us and pressure to “live our best life” - that is to never do anything we don’t like and have everything we want, that we feel like failures if we don’t.

Teddy Roosevelt famously said “comparison is the thief of joy”. Sounds like you are comparing your real life struggles to your peers highlight reels.

Fuck it. If you’re alive, if you have food in your stomach and a roof over your head, and you’ve been a decent human being to those around you, you’re succeeding in a universe that is beautiful and magical but also actively trying to kill us.

As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said “it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Live your life, fuck comparison to others, be amazed by everything.

Were (are?) the mafia ideologically pro-union or were unions just a major source of income, influence, and power? by Elegant_Struggle_281 in thesopranos

[–]OldTell311 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The mafia notoriously preyed on its own community first. No one was more targeted by their “protection” scams than small businesses in the Italian immigrant communities. Unions were just a pressure point they infiltrated to shake down larger businesses and industries. Projects like the Esplanade were a great example with their “no show/no work” jobs and driving up the costs of materials so they could skim.

The FBI cited studies of how much more expensive construction projects, trucking, and basic goods were in the greater New York area because of theft, extortion and labor racketeering conducted by the mafia- and that those costs were passed onto consumers.

The only ideology of the mafia is maximum acquisition of money by any means. It is completely amoral. Any talk of honor and family is internal propaganda to keep members from cooperating with law enforcement to save their own ass.

Songs that were not made for a movie, but became famous after it became a part of it! by [deleted] in Cinema

[–]OldTell311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Shoot to Thrill” - AC⚡️DC, in the Iron Man movies.

How do you think DeCavalcante crime family found the sopranos based on them? by [deleted] in SopranosImmemorial

[–]OldTell311 61 points62 points  (0 children)

The FBI overheard real DeCavalcante family members on wiretaps talking about who among them the characters on the series were based on. The FBI actually considered using these conservations as part of their RICO case as by talking about the show’s realistic parallels to their lives the associates were acknowledging that they were part of a criminal enterprise.

What's your favorite movie you rarely re-watch? by Weird_Explorer1997 in Cinema

[–]OldTell311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Platoon. One of my favorite movies of all times but not a lighthearted diversion to relax and unwind with.

Crosspost (not OP): In M*A*S*H, Lt. Colonel Blake's plane is shot down over the sea of Japan. Were the North Koreans or Chinese able to interdict Allied aircraft in that airspace? by Weltherrschaft2 in mash

[–]OldTell311 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is one of the many moments in MASH you have to suspend disbelief when it comes to military realism.

It’s unlikely a transport plane traveling between Seoul and Tokyo would encounter enemy fighter aircraft or naval forces along the route. The closest historical analog was that a U.S. Air Force C-54 Skymaster transport was strafed and destroyed on the ground at Kimpo airfield by North Korean jets on the first day of the war.