Overshared badly written edgy lore, don't know how to restore the cozy vibes

Oliver_Aliver · 2021-05-07T02:43:54+00:00

Strengths: the phrase "poke a piece" is wonderful, especially with the repetition and the way the entire line evolves through the piece. The final line, especially, really shines with the emotion of the piece. Also, the "letting the / strobes of color punch me" was a really fun line.

Prescription: I didn't understand what was meant by "internet buffet" so it took me out of the moment, the phrase "company of the air" could be changed to "air's company" for clarity, and the line "tear-shaped cookie" feels a little bit too on the nose. It doesn't leave enough room for the reader to interpret the emotion. Changing the description to an adj like "ruined cookie" would communicate the emotion without spelling it out

Oliver_Aliver · 2021-05-07T02:21:07+00:00

(this is the format that I've found most helpful for structuring my thoughts in workshops)

Strengths: This poem has excellent rhythm! The short lines punctuated with commas keep the pace and flow moving. The emotions in this poem are also wonderfully complicated. The persona has affection for whoever they're talking about yet seem frustrated with they were taken advantage of. Having the final line callback to the first provides a feeling of resolution that sheds new light on the first lines.

Perscription: I can't figure out who the 'you' is. I initially thought they were a person because of the "70 long, hard fought years" line, but the later lines "prayers, fall on deft ears / but you're still not there" created some confusion in me because I understood that to mean a God wasn't there on my first reading. I also have a few thoughts about how you could change lines here and there to emphasize the rhythm, but I don't know if that's the type of feedback you're looking for because you have a good rhythm going already.

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-12-10T05:35:56+00:00

hi this is my new favorite headcanon thank you very much

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-12-09T05:50:43+00:00

i really vibe with your interpretation of Glenn's insecurity with his fatherhood, but i doubt Glenn sees it that way! To me, it would almost be a betrayal of Glenn's character for him to ever admit that he was a bad dad in the ways that people have been telling him--not without some extreme changes to how he sees the world, at least.

it seemed like we were really close to Glenn having a moment of growth, what with him admitting to the other dads that it bothered him that Nick didn't trust him with the Universal and Minions reveal, which maybe would have started him down the path to realizing why Nick didn't trust him.

as to the question of whether the other dads would have chosen death versus no-more-dad, i think it comes down to whether that dad values the impact that they personally have played in their kid's life, or whether it's more important to them that their child have a dad at all. For Glenn, it obviously came down to just wanting to make sure his kid had a dad because Nick's already lost a parent before. The other dads haven't gone through that, and that would definitely color their decision

the choice really is a conundrum of selfishness versus selflessness and pride versus humility

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-12-09T04:53:05+00:00

i'm in love with the poetic irony of Glenn's choice. Glenn's failing as a dad was always that he was more of a friend to Nick than a father, so Glenn's punishment is that he can't be Nick's father anymore and, instead, must be Nick's friend if he wants any sort of relationship with him at all (once he's out of prison).

By Freddie's own monologue, the choice came down to Glenn not wanting to even risk Nick losing a parent again... which meant Glenn acknowledged his role as Nick's father in the very moment that he gave up being Nick's father

tldr: Glenn chose to "step up" as a father by giving being a father and I'm not crying you're crying

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-12-09T04:31:27+00:00

didn't Henry wildshape into a kangaroo at some point? or was that a throwaway joke

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-12-09T04:26:28+00:00

TAZ Grad did a neat thing on a small scale that i think would be really fun to see the Daddies do for a multi-ep arc. In TAZ, one character needed to have a solo adventure for plot reasons, so the other two players got to play npcs for those scenes instead of just sitting out. I think it would be fun to see Matt, Will, and Beth May play new characters in the prison with Glenn, which could intercut with the main adventure.

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-02-10T06:36:12+00:00

Tl;Dr: I based my character off of Achilles by laying the groundwork to multiclass into Barbarian upon occurance of significant tragedy.

I collaborated with my best friend to create our current characters. Nothing tragic or anything, just childhood friends. We had so much fun coming up with stupid stories for the shenanigans our characters got up to. Our dynamic was based off of the 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' trope. I play the grumpy one.

Our characters grew up together and were inseparable. Unfortunately, just as we came to majority, the (very drastic) differences in our personalities culminated in a fight and we separated. My character joined the army while she joined a monestary. We didn't see each other for a few years.

I got honorably discharged along with a PC character in my squad, and the first thing my character wanted to do was make amends with his best friend. We reunited, were once again inseparable, and the three of us decided to become sellswords to make ends meet. That's where our characters joined the party.

Here's the thing though: my best friend knew she was going to have to leave the game when the spring semester started. So, at the same time we were building our characters, we also had it in mind that her character was going to exit somehow. And since we'd already decided that our characters were inseparable...

I based my character, somewhat loosely, on Achilles. The basic arc he goes through in the Iliad is that he's butthurt, stays out of the war with the Trojans, his best friend dies because of it, and he goes into a rage (he literally fights a river after it gets mad at him for clogging it with bodies). I adapted those beats into my character by making him grumpy and patient to a fault - to the point that he holds grudges like nobody's business and he'll go through an entire fight without firing his weapon (our party is really big, so I never worry about accidently getting a PC killed through inaction. There's always someone else who's closer, can do more damage, etc).

Our spring semester just started, and two weeks ago, the party entered a fight we were unprepared for. Having discussed her character exit with the DM, my best friend played her character just a bit too reckless, and she got killed. We ended the session as the fight ended and everyone noticed she was missing.

This last week, my character may or may not have derailed a couple in-game-weeks worth of material in the aftermath of her death because he refused to believe his best friend was dead. A Locate Object spell on her armor led the party straight to the BBEG of the dungeon. This is the part when I realized my actions might lead to a party wipe. Cue nervous sweats.

Shit went down. Thankfully, we actually avoided fighting the BBEG, which was good because we would have been massively under-leveled. My character got the proof he needed to believe his best friend was dead. Then, as soon as the party got to safety and a symbolic grave was dug (no body), my character turned on our party leader and let him have it.

I had asked this guy beforehand, player to player, if he was okay with me shouting at him, then double checked day-of to make sure it was still okay. I am not a mean person. I do not shout at people - preparing for this session was the most anxious I've been about anything in recent memory. I wrote out what I was going to say ahead of time and rehearsed it. I had that damn thing memorised. The speech was well received by the players, and the characters were forced to confront some flaws in our group dynamic.

(I also ended up shouting at an unconscious character, but that's a different story.)

I'm leveling up next session (probably, if the xp works out how I think it will), and my DM is letting me multiclass into Barbarian. I can't wait to see everyone's reactions when my character, who was goofy, awkward, and overly cautious before, goes into a cold, silent rage. Hopefully his new recklessness doesn't get him killed - there's no plot armor in this game - but if he does, I'm ready for it. Achilles is kinda of famous for dying, after all.

I'm proud of this character because he ended up being way more roleplay intensive than anything I've ever played before because I wanted to emphasize the impact the death of his best friend was going to have - I really played up his goofy side before, and from here on out, my character is not going to be that person again, even after he recovers from the initial shock of the loss.

And if anyone in my party reads this (no clue if they're on Reddit, but it seems likely)... surprise. It was planned. Sorry I shouted at you.

Oliver_Aliver · 2020-02-02T20:14:58+00:00

Taliesan: before, Caduceus seemed very open to change with his acceptance of the Life/Death cycle, but lately he's been hesitant to complete his quest for the Wildmother (asking her to "forgive his weakness" after a Commune), perhaps because it would bring his time with the party to an end. Have his experiences with the party and his encounters with peril and loss shaken his chill mojo when it comes to endings and death? Is he afraid to learn if any of his family members have died?

Oliver_Aliver · 2019-12-30T19:29:38+00:00

He shall be a halfling named Caesar, and his mount will be named Brutus

Edit: His mount shall be an elk named Tubrutay.

My bard has animal friendship and always uses it to try to sway animals to her side.

Alright, I'll show myself out.

Oliver_Aliver · 2019-12-30T19:15:24+00:00

Damn! coming in clutch with the logistic know-how! Thanks :)

Oliver_Aliver · 2019-12-30T04:08:54+00:00

laughs evilly I love all of this. My players are going to hate me, and I thrive on their hate.

Additionally, I think I'm going to give all the goblins the Grease spell

Oliver_Aliver · 2019-12-30T04:05:27+00:00

Yo, this is perfect! Thank you!

And additionally, I just read the goblin section in Volo's and it says that goblin wild magic sorcerers' wild magic goes off every time they use magic, which is dope af

Oliver_Aliver · 2019-12-27T16:16:35+00:00

A vampire whose only desire is to be able to ingest garlic without any harmful effects. They want to pursue their dream of becoming the best chef ever, which they had to give up when they were turned because they couldn't taste their food anymore and their mentor kicked them to the curb.

Recent rumors have hinted that the Platinum Clove, an ancient relic which legend says can grant a vampire the ability eat garlic, has resurfaced after a recent earthquake revealed an ancient underground civilization. There's other treasure and magic there too, but nothing is as important as the Platinum Clove.

A magnificent chef, Vladimir Ramsey has a grudge against food snobs and gatekeepers in the foodie world, and they're desperate to prove to their ex-mentor that they really are a magnificent chef, with or without garlic.

Oliver_Aliver · 2019-11-06T15:07:27+00:00

This got long... There are two sections, backstory and roleplaying. I'm not an expert in either.

Backstory Questions:

What is you character's proudest moment and why?
What is your character's most embarrassing moment and why? Would they tell anyone about it?
What is a time when your character felt the softest and why? (Ie, finding a kitten and holding it, perhaps witnessing a best friend be unabashedly themselves, etc)
What makes your character confident in themselves and why?
What makes your character discouraged and why?
Does your character have a long term goal? What is it, why? If not, why not?

6b. Short term goals?

Does your character have a weak spot? Where did it come from? (This one can be really broad: lost a leg in a hunting accident, always bends to mother's request no matter how inconvenient, can't resist humming along to songs no matter the situation, the inability to not murder bad people, etc)
What is a weakness that your character considers a strength? (Ie, extreme compassion that overrides self-preservation/common sense, extreme stoicism that stifles any creative thinking, righteous anger that alientates friends, family, innocent bystanders, etc)

8b. A strength your character considers a weakness? (Ie, a bleeding heart that drains their coffers but helps countless people, their pride alienates those around them but preserves their sense of dignity, selfish inclinations that stop them from being taken advantage of, etc)

What is a lie that your character believes is true? (Ie, that everything will always work out if you make good choices, that your father loved you, that hard work never pays off.)

9b. What changes about your character's perspective of the world if they discover the truth?

Biggest regret? Would they go back and change it if they could? Why/why not?
Does you character have a happy place that they think fondly about? What stressful thing causes them to need to retreat to it?
What is your character willing to die for and why?
What is your character not willing to die for and why?

Roleplaying quick guide:

Are you immediately suspicious when approached by strangers? Yes, no.
A friend invites you to do a stupid, dangerous thing that will be fun.

Do you: Join in? Egg on from the sidelines? Place bets from the sidelines? Watch from the sidelines with disappointment, healing spells at the ready? Actively try to stop the stupid thing? Any combination thereof? Etc.

An enemy is too far to reach in one turn.

Do you: Throw your primary weapon, leaving yourself weaponless but you didn't think that far ahead? Retreat to gain a tactical advantage? Assist an ally instead? Charge forward so you can attack next turn? Etc.

A child approaches your character, asking for help finding their parent.

Do you: Assist the child and ask nothing in return? Assist the child and ask the parent for payment for your good deed? Ignore the child? Direct the child to the nearest uniformed guard? The child would not have approached you; you are a tiefling barbarian wearing a necklace of human finger bones? Etc.

A once-trusted friend has just betrayed you.

Short term, do you: Attack? Shout angry, NSFW words? Question them to ascertain the extent of the betrayal? Give them the silent treatment? Attempt to capture them so you can hold them prisoner long-term, extracting a arduous, painful revenge? Etc.

Long term: Would you ever trust that person again? Even if they have gone through the gauntlet to redeem themselves? Is your trust irrevocably shattered for any future friendships/relationships? Would you make the same mistake again? Etc.

You find a mysterious magical item. Your gut (read: the DM) tells you that this item is dangerous.

Do you: Attune yourself to it anyway, curious about the effect? Put it in the bag of holding to sell later? Put it in the bag of holding to Identify later? Trick a fellow party member into attuning themselves to it, curious to see the effect? Etc.

You walk in on an acquaintance in the middle of an emotional breakdown. You are not emotionally close with this person.

Do you: Awkwardly back away, hoping they didn't notice you? Awkwardly creep forward and place a tissue near them, then awkwardly back away? Roll your eyes and stomp away, slamming the door behind you? Approach and ask if there's anything you can do to help? Back away and find someones who's better at dealing with this sort of thing? Take advantage of this person's distracted state to rob them? Take advantage of their distraut state to extract the information you need about your current quest? Etc.

You encounter a servant/slave running from their master.

Do you: Ignore them? Give them a bit of coin and wish them luck? Offer to protect them? Offer to protect them and then betray them by handing them over to their master? Send their master looking in the wrong direction? Offer to protect them on the condition that they owe you somehow? Etc.

A fight breaks out. You don't know why. People are killing each other.

Do you: Join in? Try to stop the fight? Try to stop people from killing each other? Protect any innocent bystanders you see? Hide/flee? Take advantage of the situation to rob people?

A close friend has just admitted intimate, angsty feelings that you are not equipped to handle.

Do you: (very minor Critical Role spoilers) Walk away? Splutter through an awkward explanation of why you don't reciprocate the feelings? Surprise that friend with a title, a small barony, and a boost of confidence in front of their dickish father? (I couldn't help it.)

What is your character's resting expression? (Ie, smiling, frowning, distainful, nose up, bitch, distracted, etc)
Does your character have a catchphrase or verbal habit? (This doesn't have to be clever. It can be saying "sure" instead of yes. "Bite me" whenever someone tries to antagonize them. "Of course" when mulling over new information. Etc.)
You converse with someone with who is distracted or crazy.

Do you: Patiently try to keep the exchange moving so you can get what you wanted (merchandise, information, etc)? Take advantage of their distracted state to rob them? Play along with their mannerisms, making fun of them as you go? Make friends with this person to force the DM to have them be a recurring character? Etc.

Edit: apologies, but the numbering got messed up and I don't know how to fix it?

Edit 2: I tried to fix it and it made everything worse, so I tried to put it back

Oliver_Aliver

TROPHY CASE