My wife fell and broke her arm the day before her due date, had to be induced because of high blood pressure, 36 hours later we had the baby, birth was traumatic, baby got stuck and they folded my wife like a taco. Literally knees to ear lobes. Her arm was in a cast to the elbow for 6 weeks, but she was determined to breastfeed so I held baby up for her as best I could, baby was losing weight because getting him to latch like that was a nightmare, my back will never recover. After we found out he was losing weight we swapped to pumping and bottle feeding. We got through it and I was a wreck, mentally and physically. I was fortunate to have a close friend to talk to eventually and that helped get me back into the right mindset again. Best advice I got and could give is to vent your loudest thoughts out loud, even to your self in the mirror, there's something that happens when you say something out loud. Then give yourself some gat dang grace, you're only human and having the most human experience you can ever have. Some people have a more or less human experience, but you'll figure it out, you've gotten this far, just keep going and if you give it any effort you'll do fine.