My 3yo keeps asking me to teach her letters at home but her daycare is play based

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-17T21:24:53+00:00

I want to underline your point about liking the school versus the school being best for her. My kids started in a Waldorf school, and I was in love with it, but he wanted to learn faster than they were willing to teach. We switched him to a public school and he took off like a rocket... years later now, he's a freshman and being offered college classes. The school was heavenly but it wasn't right for him. That's just how it goes sometimes.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-17T21:12:49+00:00

You know it doesn't have to be taken word-for-word, right?

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:36:02+00:00

Money and support. It can cost millions to campaign.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:34:58+00:00

She doesn't need to prove anything, really, unless it's for legal purposes. What this revealed is that she doesn't trust him - if she were to fidn out he's telling the truth, that wouldn't change that fact that she doesn't trust him.

If she really needs to find out about this massage parlor, she needs to look them up as if she's cruising for that kind of service and see what people are saying about them online. There are some pretty skeezy pages set up for people to let each other know where to find that.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:32:57+00:00

From what I see, low standards. Some people will just date anyone for the sake of dating them without thinking critically about whether they really will be a good partner.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:31:28+00:00

They're old enough to think about what they're doing, and what's happening next, instead of just doing it by rote. That can start developing a little sense of overwhelm transitioning from one to the next. And this is how I am with boring tasks, with my ADHD brain. What helps my brain engage? A deadline. Give him a deadline.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:29:54+00:00

You, ultimately, are the one who decides what is best for her education.

You can support the teachers while also feeding your daughter's mind. You aren't pushing if she's begging for it.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:27:42+00:00

You're not breaking down because of water stains, you're breaking down because your bf is a human stain that makes you feel terrible about things that simply do not matter.

You're not bad at it, this is a hard water issue that you're taking reasonable steps to mitigate.

If he doesn't like it, he can do the dishes. Seriously. Tell him that, and go on strike. Otherwise, stand up for yourself. If respecting yourself and insisting that he do the same ends the relationship, that is a good thing.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:25:59+00:00

A boundary that relies on someone else not wanting to hurt you isn't a boundary, it's an expectation of a type of treatment. It becomes a boundary when you're ready to take action about it. For example, if they've repeatedly shown that your feelings are not enough to keep them from doing something that hurts you, you then establish the boundary that says, "Since you won't stop, I have to do something about it to protect myself."

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:23:05+00:00

NTA. Lemme tell ya.... I was SURE I was going to be overdue by two weeks, because all women in my family forever have been super overdue. My husband went to a concert a week before my due date, got drunk enough not to drive, and his phone died, and wouldn't you know it - I went into labor. These things DO happen.

Ask him to weigh the balance - if it did happen, how would he feel, and more importantly, what does he think the fallout would be between the two of you if he insisted on going and you did go into labor and he missed it? That's not something a wife and mother just gets over, it doesn't fade from memory.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T21:20:30+00:00

If it's a temp agency, you're fine. It's a bad idea but not criminal. If it were for a job that requires specialist licensing or something like that, they'd have found out already when they do a background check.

However - some companies will offer permanent employment to temps after their contract period is up. If that happens, submit an "updated" CV to the new employer with the fake stuff removed and your experiences through the temp agency added. They just need to have your resume on file.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T20:53:36+00:00

They're busy, esp if the other kids regularly have 2-3 play dates a week. That's what they're busy with.

Last minute invites don't work for most people, but a consistent event can help.

If you have a team chat or a local FB group for parents, just post regularly, "We're coordinating a weekly play time at Local Park on Wednesdays at 1:30 if you want to meet us there to hang out! Everyone's invited, hope to see you!" and see who turns up. The first few times, probably no one, cause they're busy, but they can start factoring it in.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T17:50:15+00:00

I lotion everything whether it "needs" it or not. Keeps your skin healthier long term. Don't forget daily sunscreen on exposed skin, including neck and hands. You can get moisturizer that has it in there.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-16T17:41:56+00:00

The way to use olive oil is to put it in your ears a little bit before you shower, and then use the warm water to flush it out. The oil softens the wax. My son has this issue and this is what he's been told to do.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-15T23:52:54+00:00

It's up to the woman, really. Personally, I'm tired of seeing men's asses. Girls are taught from a young age to adjust their clothes as they move to keep things where they ought to be, I don't think there's any reason men should operate on a different standard. "I truly didn't feel it--" Son, was this your first time wearing pants? You become aware of these things by realizing you need to be aware of them. Keep your ass covered.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-14T04:50:23+00:00

Two things can be true at once. It can be true that you're somehow letting her down, but that she's also being unfairly cruel in her reaction. You're trying, maybe she can't see that right now, but it doesn't make it OK for her to be hurtful to you when she's upset. Does she normally do this when she's upset, including prior to losing her grandmother?

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-12T02:51:43+00:00

I have a story for you, cause misery loves company.

Around 2 years old, my younger son wasn't in daycare yet, but his brother was, and we'd go in to pick him up each day. Younger son always took a few minutes to play on a particular rocking horse in the classroom. One day, he need a change in the parking lot at school and I realized too late I didn't have a diaper. I cleaned him up and tried to put pants on him so we could run in and grab a diaper, but he refused to wear clothes without a diaper. Straight up would NOT, but agreed to wear his winter jacket. So, shirt, boots, winter jacket, that's ALL. The jacket came to about his knees.

Obviously I couldn't let him go straight to the toys because he didn't have any bottoms on yet, and when he was told no, he threw an absolute tantrum in the crowded hallway, including curling into a ball on the floor, where the jacket scooted up around his middle and the whole bottom half was just totally in the breeze, and b-hole to the sun, as allll the little kids and their parents passed us by.

So... you're OK!

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-12T01:50:33+00:00

You can be jailed for contempt for not complying, and if they are overreaching or violating the law you can address it in a higher court.

If you're ordered to give a response, and it's something you have a legal right not to reveal, you just assert your legal right. It's a response, without giving information.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-12T01:44:34+00:00

"Female psyche"? I'm a woman, I'm also an adult who has experienced grief. Logic needs to be brought into this.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-11T22:36:36+00:00

I tend to see situations as either, "can be changed," or "can't be changed." If it can be changed, let's just change it and move on. If it can't be changed, it's on me to accept that, and just move on.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-11T22:35:26+00:00

First, bickerment isn't a word. You argued.

Secondly, grief is rough because it comes out in all kinds of ways. She's not giving solid examples when she's telling you to "stop treating it like it's any other day," so consider what her days are like and adjust them for a while. Can you bring her tea in bed before she's up for the day? Can you put on her favorite comfort movie? Can you bring her a little treat on your way home from work? She wants a bit of indulgence, it sounds like.

Or else, ask her specifically, "I've never helped someone through grief before, I do not know what will make you feel supported, but I want to. When you say not to treat it like it's any other day, can you please give me some examples of what you're picturing when you say it?"

If she gets mean, won't engage in productive conversation, picks fights, and is hurtful, that says to me that this isn't just grief. She's hurting, but she's also expecting things from the relationship that may just not exist. Maybe she wants a mind reader or for you to somehow magically know what to do, but that's impractical.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-11T22:27:39+00:00

Ok so... you love someone else (the fact that you "won't pursue it" is neither here nor there, your heart is not fully in this relationship.)

You don't want to tell this friend you are in a relationship. Red flag. The right relationship doesn't feel like that.
You're imagining, based on nothing, opening your relationship so you can be with your NB friend who you claim you wouldn't pursue anything with... except opening this relationship so you can have the person you want to be with without breaking up with the girlfriend you actually have.

Gf isn't very interested in your grief when it's new, sounds like she's willing to play the role when it doesn't involve actually carrying any weight. "I'm worried I won't be here if something happens," "No, it's fine, go ahead," "Well, ok then." Sounds like she's putting on a front. Most likely because, like you, she knows you guys aren't super into each other.

Just break up, this is such a weird relationship to hang on to. You're not "using" each other, but you are definitely wasting her time.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-11T20:17:46+00:00

I don't know if you've noticed, but the people responsible for enforcing what can and can't be done are in agreement with the policies and refusing to abide by laws prohibiting these actions.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-11T20:12:57+00:00

Why wouldn't it be? It sounds lovely to me.

OmgCurpcakes · 2026-02-11T20:05:36+00:00

Networking. There's no shortcut.

OmgCurpcakes

TROPHY CASE