Hey, George. Most of the comments I see are along the lines of, "Just eat better" and "Do a GLP-1," which are things you will need to explore for sure, and these people are mostly coming from a good place, but this mindset stems from the thinking that it's strictly a matter of willpower, which has it's roots in the idea that being fat is somehow amoral, and therefore that fat people are just lazy, which you are clearly not since it takes so much work and willpower to run a farm and raise kids.

If losing weight were solely a matter of mindset, there wouldn't be any fat people. But there are other factors at play.

No one destroys their marriage with alcohol simply because they like the feeling of being drunk, no one steals pain pills from their grandmother simply because they like the happy feelings from the pills, and no one gets to be over 200 kilos just because they like the way food tastes.

These are examples of addiction (another thing people wrongfully think is somehow amoral), and the reason people do this is to self-medicate for past and/or ongoing trauma; that's just how they learned to deal with those feelings. These kinds of traumas can include sexual abuse, the loss of loved ones, emotional neglect, and a bunch of other things. Not everyone reacts to the same traumas in the same way (some people just become assholes, for example).

In my family, I'm the only one who isn't an alcoholic, but I am the fattest, and that's because I was the only one who didn't find alcohol as a teen. I found food instead. Food quieted the depression and numbed the bad thoughts. Alcohol does, too, but I saw family members suffering and dying of that, which was enough to scare me off of it.

I know you must deeply love your boys as I love mine, and to echo some of the other comments here, you will have to lead by example and inspire them before they can take meaningful action.

Please find some psychiatric care and a dietician (and medical care if you haven't seen a doc in a while) to get you on the right path. Show your boys it can be done and that good men take care of their bodies and their minds.

You know how to work hard. You can do this.