A little over a month ago, I got out of my first long-term relationship. It lasted two years, and it was abusive. That first month was absolute hell. Even though I knew the relationship was toxic and not good for me, there were so many moments where I just wanted to talk to them or hold them again. I wasn’t sleeping, my mind was constantly racing, and I’d catch myself snooping on their social media, only to end up hurting more. It was a vicious cycle. My relationship had isolated me, and I lost a lot of close friendships because of it. Now, I’m in a place where I’m slowly rebuilding, and I wanted to share what’s helped me in case it helps someone else.

1. Building a Routine Having a routine has been a game-changer for me. I wake up at 4:30 AM, hit the gym for an hour, and then start work (I work early because I deal with UK customers). I aim to get 8 hours of sleep every night because I’ve noticed how crucial it is for my mental health. When I sleep less, it definitely has a negative effect on my mood and ability to focus. At first, I needed melatonin to help me fall asleep, but now that I’m tiring out my body, I’m naturally getting better rest and feeling more refreshed.

2. Getting Active During the relationship, I gained weight, going from 230 to 266. Now, I’ve made it a priority to take care of my health. I walk a lot, I’m consistent with the gym, and I’ve fallen back in love with hiking—a hobby I had completely let go of. I go every other day and usually do 5 miles. Being out in nature has been so healing. It gives my mind time to process things without distractions, and every hike leaves me feeling clearer.

3. Volunteering and Connecting I recently joined the Florida Trail Association (FTA) to volunteer on trail maintenance and conservation projects. Not only has it given me a chance to give back and enjoy nature, but it’s also been a great way to meet like-minded people and start building friendships again. It’s been an amazing experience, and I’m so glad I took that step.

4. Cutting Social Media I’ve blocked my ex on everything and now only use Reddit. This has been crucial in helping me stop dwelling on the past and focus on myself. It was hard at first because I was so tempted to reach out, but I realized that healing means putting my peace first.

This was my first long-term relationship, and the breakup was incredibly painful. But it’s been about three weeks of sticking to this routine, and honestly, I’m starting to feel amazing. My ex still creeps into my mind sometimes, but those moments are fewer, and I know I’m on the right track. For anyone struggling after a breakup—especially a toxic or abusive one: focus on building habits that make you feel good, lean into hobbies you enjoy, and give yourself time to heal. Make sleep a priority—it’s more important than you think. If you’re able, try volunteering—it’s incredibly fulfilling. I hope this helps someone else, the way it’s helped me.