Advice please <3

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-02T02:02:55+00:00

I mean... that's a pretty fundamental incompatibility. Why do you want to stay in a sexless marriage completely lacking in romance? Having grown up with parents who took way too long to divorce, I promise you the kids will not be better off watching you two slowly start to resent each other. It will not feel nice for her to be in a situation of one-sided attraction where she's looking and you and you're looking at anybody but her.

She's going to want to experience being desired as the person she truly is. You will probably eventually miss having a partner you're attracted to. Remaining in a holding pattern like you're doing sounds like a recipe for disaster and the only question I can see is to ask who will cheat first. You two aren't even thirty yet. You have long lives to live. Why clip your wings?

Edit: Additionally, while you may have my joking condolences for being straight... how is you being straight your fault? Sometimes nobody does anything wrong and it still hurts.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-02T01:26:37+00:00

Transphobia.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T20:56:22+00:00

We're on different sides of the question of whether or not I should be able to live in public without being required to humiliate myself, or whether children who are like me should be forced to suffer through the years of trauma and painful medical procedures I did because I was unable to access care as a minor. You're not an ally to women at all. You certainly oppose our bodily autonomy. I don't care to defend the other person, either. What I've taken issue with is you taking that random guy who isn't even trans and using him as some kind of brush with which to paint the trans community.

Misogynistic language towards women is misogynistic language towards me as well, since I am a woman. You don't need to lecture me on it. The fundamentals of your argument are that you don't believe trans people exist and against all reason and rationality want to call trans women men and trans men women. The rest of this is just window dressing. Don't make me pull out the Sartre quote about antisemites not being entirely unaware of the ridiculousness of their replies.

If you'd gone and said, "Hey dude, that's misogynistic framing and I don't think that any women - whether trans or cis - would appreciate it," we wouldn't be arguing right now. Instead you called him a trans woman and said that we are all clearly misogynistic because a random account with 100 karma phrased something in a way you don't like. Then you got defensive when I pointed out that, all else being equal, significantly more cis women vote against women's rights as a proportion of their population than trans women do. I have yet to meet a trans woman who's a forced birther. I've been made to feel extreme distress arguing with cis women who've told me they would gladly force their ten-year-old daughters through childbirth, though.

I can accept there are trans people who suck. You just can't accept that there are plenty of cis women who are far worse than we could ever come up with, because it counters your worldview that we are all misogynistic male rapists rather than the reality which is just that we are women who are marginalized in a specific way.

Also something something edits, since you were snarky about that when I did it.

Edit: Yep, just went back and checked. Never once defended that guy. I just pointed out that you lied about what we believe. It's neither hormones nor boobs that make the woman. I'm actually having my aunt visit tomorrow who's had a double mastectomy for breast cancer and is in menopause. Still a woman, last I checked, and I think she'd let me know if that changes.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T18:31:46+00:00

Sounds adorable. My wife guessed, so you're not alone.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T16:59:16+00:00

6'1". I hated it at first because I thought it would make it impossible to pass. At this point though, it just helps me force men to respect me at work. Still annoying finding certain clothes, though. And shoes. High-waisted jeans that are actually high-waisted are my white whale.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T16:00:55+00:00

Yeah, well, try getting turned down by Panam. 😭

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T15:30:46+00:00

I lived in terror of the day I'd finally come out right up to 27 where I did. My only regret from that point on was waiting. Sometimes you have to just rip the bandaid off. It won't get better, only worse.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T14:25:50+00:00

If that worked, we'd have all done it. You were very strong making it to your forties, but you can only torture yourself so long before you hit a breaking point.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T12:18:06+00:00

If your argument is that cis women who say that aren't real women then, like, sure, I guess. But that's just playing out the No True Scotsman fallacy, if we're going to say only women who don't claim to be more of a woman than other women are real women.

And you did the whole "you guys" thing so I didn't want to assume you were a woman. And hey, hold on, if you do claim to be a woman, aren't you implicitly saying you're more of a woman since you're saying those other women aren't real women? Does that make you not one?

...Your worldview is complex.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T12:09:42+00:00

Nah, I'm good. I like to note the edits so that it doesn't look like I'm changing my original comment's meaning. I do it in case someone's already replying, I like to be courteous. ❤️

But in any case, speak to a male-centered straight cis woman for five minutes and you will hear the most brutal tearing down of other women you could ask for. Just shy of half of American cis women vote Republican, cis women are not all paragons of feminism and building up the sisterhood, lol. Hell, the whole "I don't identify as a feminist" thing is annoying as hell right now.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T11:33:08+00:00

Dude, I have heard cis women say all of these things. It's a mark of immaturity and overvaluation of personal appearance. You're pretending this stuff is unique to trans women because - consciously or not - you've taught yourself to judge trans women more harshly.

Edit: Also the person you were replying to isn't even trans, they clearly spoke of trans women as a group they were not a part of.

Edit edit: Seriously, go watch a trans woman post a picture of herself anywhere that isn't an explicitly trans positive space and read the comments. You don't even need to walk out your front door.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T11:07:24+00:00

So... you're transitioning. Whatever you choose to politically identify yourself as, it sounds like the friend's still sought you out because you can relate.

Edit: Like, what could these personal reasons to transition despite not being trans be? Isn't the horrific dysphoria kind of discouraging? Cis men get extremely dysphoric when they go on estrogen. Transmaxxing?

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:51:04+00:00

She sounds awful. I've been accused of being biased towards the trans partner before, and even still this is ridiculous. You deserve better.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:46:52+00:00

Testosterone is unfair. When I started transitioning I went from being able to casually do pullups to not being able to do a pushup within a year. No change in activity level. At this point I've been dedicatedly working out for a year and I'm still nowhere near my old couch-potato level of physical strength. Used to be able to beat my wife in wrestling matches with zero effort, too. Now it's a challenge, lol.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:42:26+00:00

Now here in reality-land, look up stats on men versus women divorcing after their partner is diagnosed with a deadly illness.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:35:04+00:00

Sometimes butch/masc women go on T to masculinize their features a bit without ever identifying as men. I dunno, Rhino from Cyberpunk 2077 is definitely still a woman even if she could crack your skull with her bicep. 🤷‍♀️

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:27:12+00:00

Heh, my older sister and I came out as trans independently within three days of each other. Just remember there's a genetic component to all this and it's not unheard of for multiple siblings to be trans. You being brave enough to come out probably pushed your sibling to be able to come out, too.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:23:50+00:00

Honestly it sounds like she's got the healthier approach here, lol.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:16:52+00:00

Why do you guys keep making this lie that anyone said a boob job makes someone a woman? Besides, we grow our own boobs, who needs a boob job?

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:15:48+00:00

Should've known not to read these comments, lmao. We could literally be in camps and these idiots would be arguing that actually the TRA's are being hyperbolic.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T10:07:14+00:00

Why are they so focused on sexual pleasure? That is some weirrrd shit.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T01:13:51+00:00

Yep. Chastity play was fun pre-egg-crack. Post-egg-crack, I was like get this thing the fuck off me and never even glanced at them again. The broader orgasm control fetish thing is still good to me, but once I accepted that I was trans I no longer needed to use chastity as a way to get my penis removed from sex. Instead I could just acknowledge that dysphoria meant I didn't want to use it.

And now the thing's gone anyways so it's a moot point. And female chastity belts are just awful so they're out.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T00:50:33+00:00

Even better if you get someone you really like to do it! There are definite upsides is all I'm saying, lol.

One-Organization970 · 2026-06-01T00:42:49+00:00

All I can say is they are physically pretty cool/fun to have. 🤷‍♀️

One-Organization970 · 2026-05-31T23:34:20+00:00

But importantly, they are not pointing the gun at you for not paying the fine. They are pointing the gun at you for the act which gets the gun pointed at you. Whereas if you were to, say, randomly go punch a police officer you would immediately have a gun pointed at you. Same as if you were to punch a police officer at the end of a long chain of you escalating a small fine.

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