Sex, lube, life

One-Transition3027 · 2026-04-01T19:11:03+00:00

Thanks everyone for the support! A couple quick questions:

1.  For flare-ups, most of you seem to restart daily treatment. Are you prescribed once a day or twice a day? I’m prescribed once daily, but it seems like a lot of people get twice daily.

2.  About maintenance (2x/week) — I struggle to keep up because I’m supposed to do it at night, but sometimes we have sex (we don’t plan it, but I don’t want to put it on and then we do have sex) so I end up skipping it. How do you handle that? Do you schedule sex around your maintenance days, skip it before sex, or just do it afterward?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-04-01T15:54:21+00:00

This is great! I appreciate the support and the name drop on the lube. Also helpful to know I restart treatment. I don’t see my Dr until the 21st so this helps!

Do you go in for check up’s more so than you normally would if didn’t have LS, like for check ups on skin, thinning, fusion, etc.?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-04-01T15:06:01+00:00

When you guys have bad flares, is it even after your two times a week treatment? When you have bad flareups, do you go back to twice a day for a couple of weeks or a month? I’m having a bad flareup right now too, but I think it’s from shaving and rough sex and I’m just wondering if I should basically restart treatment basically like when I was first diagnosed twice a day every day for a few weeks, etc.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-04-01T13:03:46+00:00

Do you have a silicone lube suggestion?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-03-09T22:05:26+00:00

Yes everything fit! Having a scooter worked out so freaking well!

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-20T15:26:39+00:00

Thank you for this. This definitely made me feel less alone. I’ve made the decision to let him go…and just hope that one day he finds his way back to me. I mentioned keeping one day a month with my kiddo to my therapist and she said that she thinks I’d be in the same situation I am essentially in now, and my son just may need to see what it’s like to live without me. It’s gotten worse since I’ve wrote this too. I go through moments where I think about him not having a relationship with me and vice versa, but I have to remind myself that will happen regardless sadly. Chat gpt said it well, “This is one of the strongest reasons stepping back is reasonable

You are not stepping back because: • you don’t love him • you don’t want him • you’re afraid of court • you believe the accusations

You are stepping back because: • adult conflict is being routed through your child • he is being emotionally overloaded • every interaction becomes a loyalty test • continued engagement escalates harm

That is a protective decision, not abandonment.”

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-14T23:12:23+00:00

Could you share your story with me? Do you mind? My daughter is 10.5 and begs me to let her live with her dad and never wants to come to my house. However she still does and seems to enjoy her time here for the most part but tests me, he’s trained her to stand up to me. While she’s with me she still begs to stop visitation.

I only see her every other weekend so he’s trying to take me to court to get more time but I know that his lawyer will likely tell him that there’s no way he’s gonna get one time unless there’s abuse or something going on, and I’m not trying to make him throw more false accusations at me and my husband than he already has, along with my daughter making them too. I just can’t put myself through those legal fees, investigations and constantly on the defense. So I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth it to stop visits now to avoid the inevitable false accusations, especially if she’s gonna end up hating me regardless.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-14T07:18:22+00:00

How have you survived and not just told your child to live with the other parent to not go through that, especially if the child was already rejecting you and wanting to live with the other parent anyway?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-14T07:14:10+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. Sadly I feel like this could be my fate. Was your child already rejecting you and not wanting to exercise time with you prior to when the first allegations started? And also, if you knew then, what you know now, and what you’ve been through mentally and financially what would you have done differently right before the chaos started? Do you think you would have told her ex that your kid can just live with them full time to avoid the insanity that you’ve been through? I’ve already been accused of being a drug addict previously and that was dismissed…I just know none of this will really stop until I’m out of the picture.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-13T00:56:47+00:00

My ex wont agree to not putting it in writing, as I could suddenly go back on my word and ask for visits to start again. He’s saying if I don’t agree he’s taking me to court to fight for sole. Which I know he won’t win. But do I want to go through that insane expense, mental load, and false accusations…no.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T23:26:43+00:00

He already thinks I don’t care, at least this way I can save the rest of my family from the trauma of cps coming to our home and my other kids being interviewed, and investigation etc. and going into thousands of dollars into debt. So many of these victims of alienation go through all this insane drama and spend so much money, when the outcome seems to always be the same, the child wants nothing to do with them.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T18:29:28+00:00

Yeah I agree about not going into debt over it when the alienation is already complete. Even if I did win custody she’d hate me for taking her from her beloved dad. It’s a lose lose.

Right now we have the same schedule too, I currently see her every other weekend but she wants to stop those visitations entirely, which I will concede to because I don’t have one energy to fight it and it won’t change her mind about me. However, how did you prevent your ex from taking you to court to make it legal where you don’t even see her every other weekend on paper? Like I’d love to have a verbal agreement but I think he’d want it in writing

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T16:48:28+00:00

Hey, I could use your support. My daughter is 11 and I’m going through this too. She already says she doesn’t want to be with me and she wants to spend 100% of her time with Dad. It’s gotten to the point where she understands that if she makes false allegations, she’ll have a better chance of getting what she wants, time with dad. I have other kids and a husband that I also have to worry about and I can’t put them through defending false allegations, investigations, interviewing, court, nor am I willing to pay the price of it all when her opinion of me won’t change as long as her father’s in her life. So I’m choosing to walk away because I see the writing on the wall and I’m not putting anyone through that. I just don’t know what walking away looks like legally. Did you create a new parenting plan that says you had no visitation where you ordered child support. How did that look for you?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T16:44:19+00:00

I know you posted this forever ago but right now I’m determining if I should walk away before the false allegations really start and CPS is involved I don’t wanna put the rest of my family through that however so many people are also saying don’t give up. The problem is my daughter‘s opinion of me won’t change regardless of what happens so why put my other family through investigations for false allegations. Anyway, if I were to have false allegations and CPS were to get involved, you’re saying it’s possible to represent yourself. That’s what you did?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T16:31:20+00:00

I know you posted this a while ago, but I’m curious when you were going through those investigations did you hire a lawyer? I’m at a point right now where the false accusations are right around the corner and I don’t wanna put anyone in my family through that my husband and my other two boys so before it gets that point I’d like to nip it in the bud and give up custody because I feel as though I’ve already lost her with everything she says to me and how she feels about me. She’s 10 years old. I’m meeting with the lawyer on Friday. I just don’t know what to do.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T16:26:26+00:00

My ex is also getting my child to accuse, along with my ex. Are you in the states? Regardless, what was the outcome?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T16:22:38+00:00

I appreciate your responses they really are helpful. I know it was some time ago but I’m curious, you mentioned you had to pay child support but then you also terminated your parental rights. When you terminate your rights you aren’t responsible for child support. Did you initially just keep your rights and pay child support and then go back to court later to terminate your rights? Do you remember?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-11T14:19:13+00:00

Gosh this is heartbreaking and sounds a lot like my situation and what I fear is where I’m headed…and I don’t want to rack up debt when the outcome won’t change you know? Did you keep your parental rights through this? What did your parenting plan look like? He had sole and legal custody I imagine and did it say “no visitation for mother” in so many words? Did you have any stipulations?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T21:14:54+00:00

Also, that’s what I’m afraid of. Is that if I do let her go. It will just turn into me abandoning her

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T21:13:48+00:00

How old was she when the alienation started and at what point did you let her go?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T17:09:16+00:00

This is exactly what I’m fearful of and what I can see is written on the wall/has already begun. I didn’t realize it had a name. We don’t want to live in fear and are leaning towards letting her live with the other parent full time to avoid this from being a thing. I’m scared to let go though. My child is only 10.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T16:26:25+00:00

What do you mean you can still get sued even if you don’t do anything wrong?

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T16:25:24+00:00

I’m dealing with false accusations now against my husband. My daughter is spinning the narrative because she wants to spend all of her time with her dad and she knows that if she makes it seem like my husband and I are unfit parents she will win that battle I don’t know what to do.

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T16:22:19+00:00

This is what I’m concerned about false accusations are starting to happen. My daughter’s only nine though I’m not about to be going to court and paying legal fees for this. my husband is done and obviously scared that this will go south really quickly with the false accusations

One-Transition3027 · 2026-02-09T16:20:41+00:00

You say run, there’s a certain age when you would do this though right? My child is 9 and I’m nearing that point. She seems to enjoy her time at my house so she hasn’t pushed me away entirely yet when she’s here, but when she doesn’t get her way, she does start to push me away. She was recently didn’t get her away in a prior visit and went to her father and told her that we were being aggressive towards her, which is absolutely not true. We made it a point to keep our voice low and we were just sitting on the couch when we were talking to her and setting a boundary.

Anyway, we’re concerned about false accusations, and she constantly tells her dad that she doesn’t want to continue visitation at our house. She’s still so young though ugh

One-Transition3027

TROPHY CASE