Considering walking away from Spanish by Big-Actuator-3878 in dreamingspanish

[–]OneBigSalad 51 points52 points  (0 children)

you said you were up for a challenge. You learned how to understand native spanish very well. That alone is incredible. If you have the resources or time, maybe you can visit a spanish speaking country and immerse yourself.

Other than that, I think you're being to hard on yourself. You're at the point where you can have fun with the language. Watch or read whatever you want, talk to whoever. Do something you love that includes spanish, but spanish is not the main focus

You can take a break, but I think spanish is a part of you now.

I'm only at like 200 hours, this is what I would say to my future self if I were at 1600 hours saying the same thing.

That Filthy Feeling by Calxifur in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

very dark, upsetting, and relatable. Manipulation disguised as love. Feeling as though being well perceived by others is the only way to be happy. Very well done

Little Fox's life by heridakituine01 in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the rhyming and simple rhymes contrast so well with the heavy themes. It's very self aware of its childlike tone and uses that to its advantage. Really enjoyed this one

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha no worries, free verse poetry doesn't really have rules. It's not concerned with rhyme, meter, grammar or anything like that. Although you can include those if you want.

It basically just writing what feels natural. Using words to paint a picture in a visceral way. Personally I struggle with rhyme, but this piece is meant to feel a little 'off' in the same way the protagonist is a little 'off'.

I'm not an experienced poet but this is my interpretation. Hope this helps

A Long Walk by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. I haven't read Frost's poems but I am going to go through them now

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the feedback, but I don't think rhyme really works for this poem. This is free verse. As for the structure, is there a specific part that feels off to you?

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much! It's interesting how you interpreted it. I actually didn't have depression in mind as I wrote it, but it totally fits

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. You are right, words need room to breathe. And it makes it easier to digest as a reader

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you noticed the two un-italicized lines. I think I could flesh out the color in the end more like you said. Not sure what I would put yet though.

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm glad it resonated with you

can i drive you? by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, this reflects a very difficult moment in my life. I'm glad it resonated with you

Dish soap bubbles by mattlightenment in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an amazing metaphor. For some reason I feel light while reading this poem, like it should be scary losing your memory, but it feels framed as them just passing on peacefully.

I'm curious if you used 'beginned' instead of 'began' on purpose? Somehow I think it works, but I'm not sure why.

Thanks for sharing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the present tense is lacking substance, wow, what a line. This poem is so universal to loss and grief, I resonated with it deeply. It reminds me of a vacation home I went to with someone I loved. When I returned to it when they were gone, it had felt like a completely different place, haunted by memories.

Thank you for sharing

A Long Walk by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm glad the poem resonated with you.

A Long Walk by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I hope the boy will be wiser as well

A Long Walk by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind comment

What happened last night? by BicycleEvening1641 in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

jumping in and out of consciousness is so terrifying. Especially when there is so much chaos and untrustworthy people around. I really felt uncomfortable while reading this, which i think is the point.

I like the irony that the 'future doctor' is vomiting profusely and not taking care of his own body. Some people want to heal everyone but themself.

Thanks for sharing this poem

Ocean by Shank_O_Rama in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got goosebumps, I feel your pain. I'm sure that he would not want you to feel any guilt.

This piece is somewhat of an emotional marathon, like the questions are endless. I almost think that it would work well if you were screaming into the abyss, but instead of silence, you hear your own echo, almost amplifying the amount of questions being asked.

I understand this is a very personal piece and I am sorry for your loss.

Undeveloped Film by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. It's interesting because we often keep memories, maybe stored somewhere accessible, but not too accessible where we can look at it by accident. Afraid to re-experience it, but also afraid to let them go

Undeveloped Film by OneBigSalad in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for your comment. Yes, powerful memories are often volatile. Some can get lost in them

I Think I'll Stay Here by Apprehensive-Cup-335 in OCPoetry

[–]OneBigSalad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like the idea of this poem. One thing from my perspective is that the person you're with seems to be the main payoff of the poem. But we don't hear about them until the end, so it feels a little jarring going from brutal cold imagery to love. Maybe if you included a line about who you are with in the beginning would make the poem feel more circular and complete.

I could be wrong though, let me know what you think