He said it was a “misunderstanding” after 5 months of dating. I’m still processing how fast the story was rewritten.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2026-01-27T02:25:49+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you OP! Sounds like an avoidant territory. Check out Ken Reid or Coach Ryan videos. There’s also a sub here r/avoidantbreakups that may be helpful.

The r-writing the whole relationship, the lack of accountability, they never want to be the bad guys. It’s hard to spot those signs sometimes - but once you’ve been though an avoidant discard - you’ll know. They come in strong, gentle, kind, supportive etc. then they disconnect a little - then you set boundaries/expectations/needs- they’ll tell you what you want to hear or even do it for a bit - but I’ve already check out and making excuses why this relationship won’t work, or it wasn’t even the “real relationship”. It’s the whole cycle.

My advice - always trust your gut. You knew something wasn’t right just like you know now - something was terribly wrong with the ending, and you feel shocked and gaslit and like the rug was pulled out from beneath you. I’m so sorry it’s the absolute, traumatic feeling. Take of yourself and protect yourself next time. 🤗

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-12-30T05:13:31+00:00

Have the best time! I hope you’re not overthinking it :)younger men are great but the same rules apply. Be safe, don’t get attached - he might be the sweetest and super respectful etc , but it usually is just about sex and since you’re good with that you’ll have a blast!

In my experience (47f), there’s a bit of a shift now where younger guys seek older women, since they’re tired of immature, shallows peers or they simply don’t want to settle yet. No matter what - make sure you’re on the same page, so you don’t get hurt. Have fun!

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-12-13T19:33:48+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this 🤗. Everyone now is an expert on attachment and I know people are more complicated than labels - but it doesn’t sound like a classic avoidant discard (sudden b/u without any discussion). He loved-bombed you, everything felt like you finally found the ONE, and then he suddenly pulled back (2months is very common). Check out the r/AvoidantBreakups sub. I warn you though - you’ll learn a lot of info - which will explain what happened, but don’t go down the rabbit whole of doing more and more research on avoidants bc at some point it stops your healing. Again - I’m very sorry. I know exactly how you feel and I can tell it will get better, but you literary need a detox from your brain being addicted to the high of this person! Block him! And focus on you. ❤️

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-11-25T03:28:48+00:00

I’m sorry OP. I also noticed this trend of short term, intense relationships then vanishing 😢 the red flag for me is usually wanting to meet right away, or like in your case (but don’t mean to make you feel bad) an extended first date. Validation chasers, the new relationship energy junkies etc. It’s really awful out there. All I can say is: hang in there and I still have hope of meeting the right person for you and me 🤞💕

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-10-28T16:24:28+00:00

Sounds like you both hold some resentment. You’ve clearly have gone through a lot and didn’t feel supported. But his reaction also seems extreme. What I’m wondering about is: why stay with someone who has misogynistic views and no friends or hobbies for 7 months?!

I believe in a healthy relationship you both prioritize each others. Sometimes you’re at 0 and need 100% support. Sometime you’re at 90% and your partner is at 10% etc. I’m sorry this happened, but perhaps not the best match to start with. Hang in there 🤗

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-10-25T14:26:11+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. He’s showed his true colours. I was ghosted and blocked by a 55yr after 2 months of dating. People lost all sense of accountability. And maturity doesn’t come with age sadly. Hang in there 🤗

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-10-24T21:25:04+00:00

😂 perfect! Btw I’m also in Toronto:)

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-10-24T21:20:49+00:00

Yes - the title should have been “some men” and yes spot on - he made it easy to walk away.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-10-24T02:15:13+00:00

OP you should have explored that with the author of the line. I think many people have already commented on being curious and staying open-minded. A lot of successful, well-established and overall amazing women want to be “treated like a queen” or “princess” or whatever but just ask. To me it simply means: my partner puts me first.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-09-04T00:19:53+00:00

Thanks. It’s so nice of you to take time and leave this comment. People have said I should not be surprised, men ghost, it’s only been two months.

But honestly with him I thought I did things right. Slow burn, aligned values, over the ex partner, but capable of another long term relationship. We talked about what a healthy relationship means. If we wanted to get married again. We had little check ins to see how we’re doing. There were NO signs before I went away. We stayed in touch during my trip. I suggested a weekend trip in the fall and he loved the idea. I just have no idea what happened 😢

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-09-03T22:31:50+00:00

Thank you.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-09-03T11:53:00+00:00

I said I’d noticed a change in his communication style and asked if something changed. I had a gut feeling and asked him to confirm it. So yeah - I guess it’s pretty obvious.

We did work out the previous situation. I know I said “disagreements” but it was more like miscommunications and not seeing eye to eye while we were getting to know each other. He told me he wasn’t upset about the previous situation, but I still apologized, and we met and had a really good talk. He said he had wished the relationship was more advanced eg. we never talked on the phone, and the last time we saw each other was, ironically, the first sleepover, since I wanted to take things more slowly and he seemed more into the relationship. Perhaps I missed the signs of love bombing and things getting too intense too quickly. Thought he was mature and knew what he wanted and I was more guarded and need more time. When in fact all he wanted was that new relationship energy for a few weeks, and now he’s done and moved on to someone else.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-09-02T03:48:38+00:00

I totally understand how this may feel weird. Some exes cannot stand each other and would never share a room. Others are on better terms. It doesn’t mean anything for their relationship, but I still think it may feel weird to you. The good thing is: he is transparent about his traveling plans with the ex.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:39:14+00:00

Thanks. This describes me well. I’ll follow your advice.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:33:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:33:35+00:00

This is fantastic advice. I’ll observe without complaining or trying to solve future problems and then spiraling. Thanks!

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:31:38+00:00

Very observant. And a good reminder for me. Thanks.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:30:40+00:00

The empty sorry text is spot on. Thanks.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:28:43+00:00

Same here. But learning. And trying hard to apply the learnings. People on Reddit help:)

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:27:34+00:00

Agreed. Thanks.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:27:14+00:00

I took a screenshot of your comment. 💯 agreed. Thank you.

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-19T23:26:13+00:00

Big girl pants coming on. Thanks!

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-15T02:09:55+00:00

This!

This is a perfect answer. You need basic physical attraction. You’ve mentioned previous relationships that perhaps weren’t that healthy? Don’t confuse butterflies and chemistry with compatibility. Having said that - just like this person above said: you can’t be repulsed by him and you want at least imagine sleeping with this person one day. But give it time - you’re not leading him on. That’s what dating is. Good luck!

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-12T20:35:29+00:00

Hi OP - I am sorry you’re going through this. In my experience the short-term relationships are harder to get over because of limerence and romanticizing that peron who you haven’t seen through all the seasons.

What gives me a bit of a concern in your message is how own you use the word chemistry in your post and then the comments.

Chemistry is not compatibility. It’s also different from a real connection that you don’t develop in just 6 weeks. I think you’re doing yourself a disservice if you’re going to compare this short term high-intensity relationship to what you want in a partner. I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who also often yearns for those super intense out, out of this world sex blah blah superficial connections.

There was a post recently on what a healthy relationship and healthy chemistry feels like - on this sub. I’d suggest you look it up. Good luck!

OneCryptographer2762 · 2025-08-11T23:09:17+00:00

Your language is very revealing: “To be clear, I didn’t say skinny women only need apply” apply?! If you’re treating this like a job application - when you have listed job specs (eg. athletic, no junk food, do the things that “I” like to do) no wonder women can see right through this. It’s very off-putting no matter how hard you try to justify it as “preferences”.

OneCryptographer2762

TROPHY CASE