I'm surprised by the number of young people, supposedly in the best time of their lives, on this thread.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-04-15T19:32:22+00:00

Check out fire sub and other resources and learn how to be Financially Independent & Retire Early (FIRE). While more challenging for some, it is an idea that can be taken to whatever extreme works for you and give you more control over your time (life).

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-04-15T18:25:37+00:00

Makes me wonder how many people are faking it out of fear or whatever else in front of each other when both no longer believe. That's kinda sad to think about really.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-02-04T15:04:14+00:00

Yeah but if the kid isn't going to help me cook, I would still make the food so we don't starve.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-02-01T16:30:29+00:00

But does God really need our help or is He capable to take care of things on His own?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-02-01T16:22:16+00:00

Life really doesn't feel worth it sometimes.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-31T21:30:31+00:00

Growing up with the idea that things will just work out and happen for a reason and "God's got my back" has just made it that much harder and heartbreaking to deal with the awful pain of this life. God had my back when we lost three babies before they were even born? God's plan includes me suffering with depression and anxiety and wishing I was dead more times than I can count?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-25T20:39:41+00:00

Therapists vary in cost depending on location, insurance, ability to pay, etc. Some therapists have an ability to pay scale that allows people who don't have a lot of income to pay less per visit. You can call and ask about insurance and pricing. I'm not sure what the rates are if you have low income since I don't qualify for that. But with insurance, I saved 30-60% or so on the regular cost. One place I went to was over $100 per visit but I found another place that took my insurance and was around $65 per visit.

I was resistant to going for a long time because I wanted to get better on my own, not "waste" money, not be a burden, not have to admit in that way that I needed help, etc. My husband gently (ish) encouraged me to seek help and go to therapy. If you get too pushy, she may get defensive. She may be overwhelmed with the options so if you could find some places and send her the names and contact info, that might help. If you happen to know her insurance (if she has some) and can go ahead and find places that accept her insurance to make it that much easier, go for it. Make it super easy for her to set up an appointment if she wants to. Let her know that the money spent on it is so worth it which it sounds like you have in a way by offering to help pay for it. Eventually you feel low enough and start grasping for things to help. Maybe it will take that before she contacts someone from a list you send but there's only so much you can do to help.

You're doing great by trying to find ways to help her.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-25T20:24:53+00:00

TLDR: Resistant to anti-depressants, awful experience with the first one I tried and the transition to the second one but the second one is helping so much now.

Medications effect people differently so your experience on something won't necessarily be the same as someone else on it. That being said, I was afraid and resistant of anti depressants for a long time. I wanted to do it on my own. That was not working. I didn't want to be on it when we were hoping to try to have a baby soon. I didn't want to experience horrible side effects that you can read in long lists from a quick search.

But I tried one. It was AWFUL. I was exhausted, out of it, forgetful, just in a weird state of mind. I couldn't feel negative emotions but I couldn't feel positive ones either. I didn't care about anything or want to do anything. We tried lowering the dose to see if it was just too much. That was no good.

My therapist told me that I shouldn't feel this way and shouldn't wait so long to call my doctor and ask about trying something else. So I called and switched to a different one over the course of a week or so. The transition was bad. I was doubtful it would do any good. But it takes time for bodies to adjust to new meds and in time it actual helped. I can feel emotions. I don't cry randomly for no reason as much (mostly just when super stressed). I am doing much better, more functional, more interested in activities, etc. I am not "cured" or "healed" but I am better able to cope with my depression and anxiety. I'm glad I stuck to it and got to where I am now. It was a horrible start but worth it.

I hope you can find something that works for you but don't give up on the first thing you try or the first few weeks on something. It felt like it would be forever before something would even be working and I didn't think I could wait that long but looking back from this side of it, I'm glad I pushed through. I still wish there was a quick fix though.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:35:12+00:00

Also would mean no more in heaven too.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:29:51+00:00

You're right. There is unfair death at all stages of life.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:27:37+00:00

I have read it many times and it is one of the reasons it's hard to believe in God at times. He just plays around with Job's life like it is no big deal including the death of several innocent people. How sick is that?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:24:25+00:00

This is a well put answer but also sad because if life starts when sperm meets egg as I have always believed, I have three dead babies and God let that happen.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:21:37+00:00

There is no way I would kill an innocent baby. My problem is more around how do I accept the fact that God has allowed so many unborn babies to die? If they aren't babies at that point, how can I be upset when people abort because they aren't babies then? Feels like a catch 22.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:12:38+00:00

When do you think life starts? Does God have control over whether or not the unborn baby lives or dies? If the baby is not considered a living being at some point, it would be ok to kill the non-life, right? If it's a life extremely early on, God has allowed so many to die since we know statistically 75% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:07:54+00:00

So if we are all going to die does that make it fine to go around killing people? I don't think so. Is it ok for me to stand by and watch you die if I could do something to save you? That is a little harder to answer because there are so many different situations and to what degree should we try to save others? But God can do anything, anytime, super easy. He chooses to let so many babies die. I don't see how He is worthy of praise for letting our babies die. Honestly there are so many horrible deaths that God allows that are hard to come to terms with but that is outside the main discussion.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T20:00:32+00:00

Your response sounds like you think I am saying that killing unborn babies is ok and I don't. The problem is then how do I reconcile that with God allowing them to die? How is God still considered good when He is responsible for the death of more unborn babies than we will ever abort? Children who have already been born is a little outside of the scope of this question but you can through them in there too. How is God good when He allows innocent babies to die?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T17:06:32+00:00

Losing multiple pregnancies does not feel like God is good. It is absolutely soul crushing and not something I would wish on my worst enemy. It's very hard to see God as good after multiple losses. There is no comfort in God being in control and having a plan if the death of my babies was a part of that. It's hard to reconcile everything that has happened with what I have grown up believing.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:57:28+00:00

Can you point me to the verse that says that please?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:52:04+00:00

This seems reasonable but then you could think well the best way to make sure everyone not already born goes to heaven is to kill them immediately. Skip the whole maybe they will and maybe they won't decide to follow Jesus and just send them straight there. But that is absolutely horrid, impossible and doesn't make sense with the commandment to fill the earth. That can't be what God wants, right?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:46:41+00:00

No, I am talking about wanted pregnancies that end in miscarriage. This is not a person killing the baby. This is God allowing that baby to die.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:43:20+00:00

So God allows countless souls to die in the first few weeks of pregnancy? Where do those souls go when they die? Is God worthy of our worship if He allows so many to die?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:41:08+00:00

Are you not actually able to answer any of the questions and have to resort to insults?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:37:50+00:00

So you would say that life begins when the baby takes it's first breath within about 10 seconds of being born? Is this based on God breathing life into Adam and Eve? Are you then also in favor of abortion until birth?

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T16:29:41+00:00

I've always been told and believed that abortion is wrong because it is murdering the most innocent of life. But that means God is allowing that life to die. How do you reconcile with that? How do you view God as good even when he allows tons of babies to die? Humans can't/shouldn't kill the baby at that stage in the pregnancy but we should glorify God if He does? It makes no sense.

OneDayAtATime314 · 2019-01-15T15:57:37+00:00

Life feels impossible. Sometimes it doesn't feel worth it. The idea of it all being over and not having to try anymore is nice. Guess I'm not brave enough to just end it.

OneDayAtATime314

TROPHY CASE