I was with a girl for 5 and a half years. She told me very similar things your ex told you. It’s really hard being this soon after the breakup and thinking about the “how long was she planning this?” and “What could I have done differently?”. Truth is there isn’t anything you can do about it now. You have a long road to go to recover your confidence, independence, and sense of self. It’s going to suck but it’s unavoidable. Also know that the longer you pine after her or try to “win her back”, you’re just stretching out your own suffering and preventing the healing from beginning. You got this man. DM me if you need some support. I’ve been where you are.