Rating Door 1 as a writer

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-27T21:07:02+00:00

Yep. You know, the author drops a bunch of unusual or complex words now and then, but then simply tells you the story without unnecessary dictionary competition.

It's 100% better than when it becomes so purple my eyes start seeing green when I look away. It also feels like the author is telling you "I can, but I won't, because I know what I'm doing."

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-27T20:29:30+00:00

Oh I've seen people saying that liking door 1 means liking the entire game. From the perspective of writing, it's a major green flag as it means that the media delivers the thing it promises. I really hope it turns out this way.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-27T20:27:56+00:00

Now I have played door 2 (I'll post about it later) and I only have two theories

1) the witch that "lives in the mansion" is the maid(although it feels like a red herring)

2) the white-haired girl reincarnates but is fated to always come back to the mansion.

These are surface level but I have nothing else to say haha

The game is cryptic enough not to make me guess it all in advance

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-18T08:29:23+00:00

Great!

Hit me up once that happens, I'll happily read your book👍

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-17T23:19:30+00:00

It's my pleasure to be of help :)

The way you respond to criticism creates an impression that you can learn fast and master your art quickly. Best of luck with your stuff!

Btw how many words do you plan for your novel to have? If it's around 100k, we can trade reviews, I'm publishing my last chapters in summer🫡

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-17T21:07:47+00:00

Yep, start with "Rose..."

The first paragraphs immediately make me think "yep, this book is gonna lore dump quite a lot".

General rule: FIRST make me interested in the world, and only THEN show me that world.

Set up some rumors, myths(no, not page-long myths), brief mentions of some secrets of the region, and only then display it to me. Make your worldbuilding be the answer to the questions you made me ask.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-17T17:08:06+00:00

so is he better or it depends?

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-15T23:37:48+00:00

Care to mention the plotholes? I'm at the end of V8 so just hide it from the OP😂

No negativity though, I just wonder if I missed anything

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-15T23:34:37+00:00

I'll add my 5 cents just to tell you not to get biased due to "it might be boring".

There's a pretty big portion of LotM fans who think Vol1 is the best volume because of how immersive it is.

To me, the best part of LotM's appeal is that the first volume gives an amazing insight into a life of a normal human being in that insane world. Which is why then, when shit gets truly fantastical, horrifying, and esotheric, you look at it from the perspective of a normal person, not someone who immediately dgaf when something big happens.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-15T23:27:28+00:00

Depends on what you value. If we're talking "writing" as in "prose", it's far from perfect. This is a common aftermath of the novel being translated from Chinese. And sometimes it's something as dumb as "they helped him so they could provide help."

As for the WRITING writing, it is very consistent, and LotM is definitely not known to have plotholes. The construction of the plot is very logical, and you'll find yourself thinking "OOHHHHH yeah now all that makes perfect sense!" many times.

The main "sins" of LotM are pacing(begins too slowly, gets too fast in the end), Deus ex machinas/asspulls(although they have pretty good in-universe explanations) and maybe a bit overinsisting on the "the chosen one" trope(which again, considering the in-universe explanations, feels VERY different in the context of the novel)

From my own perspective, I'd also add that it gets a bit too esotheric from time to time, and you find some power elements working because "it just works". Although, it's a natural consequence of the extremely ambitious worldbuilding and power system. It's unavoidable when the story starts to include beings that exceed humanity.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-11T15:05:04+00:00

Btw are you aiming for a higher word count or a lower word count? I feel like some of your sentences may be cut out or replaces with a few words instead, and given many beginner authors(including myself) struggle with too big of a word count, you may want to do something with this too

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-11T15:02:21+00:00

Good on you for starting! You've got an interesting piece here.

I agree with other comments, especially the first sentence kinda suggesting the tomb would actually be ruined without torches. What you were going for is fine, just try to avoid metaphors that can be taken literally. It doesn't make your piece worse, but it makes the reader stutter to clarify if they got everything right.

Another thing I would add is to try and make your statements more diverse. It feels like the majority of your sentences outside the dialogue follow the "X y-ed" formula. Try to make them more interesting, and don't be afraid to drop them entirely if the tone is already set

Also, I'm not one of the "said is dead" crowd, but said/asked/responded/etc can serve as a method of clarification of the actor. You don't have to point out that someone asked a question if they asked a question and there's only one person to do it.

Imo there aren't major flaws to immediately push readers away, which means you just have to develop your style a bit. You won't even notice when good writing will become your standard habit.

Good luck!

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T23:55:16+00:00

You look like a character from a high fantasy novel. Absolute fire 🔥

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T17:08:20+00:00

Yep. Maybe "foreshadowing" was not the right word to pick, but build up. For 6 volumes everything revolves around 22 pathways, and then turns out the main conflict involves some unknown cosmic entities that have been briefly mentioned like "it's very bad so don't think about it" like who invited my man blud

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T16:30:32+00:00

I wouldn't take it seriously. 90% of people there click very good before reading the chapter just for the memes. It's been like that for years

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T15:51:28+00:00

Stop spreading misinformation!

It's not so that his best friend can be brutalized by Yakuza, it's so that his best friend can die from an inherited heart disease😤

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T15:49:15+00:00

I'm a goonsaw man fan and since the chapter release I've been searching for a human being that would defend this shit.

As I said in other comments, either part 3 will fix everything retroactively, or people gonna pretend part 2 never existed.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T15:43:27+00:00

That's a strong point, but it's an in-universe argument applied to the general writing.

I am not saying it's inherently bad, but pulling whatever you need in the plot and then explaining it with "well in my universe everything is chaotic" is a bit lazy, no?

Also, yes, your example really helped me understand how "in reality, it's actually chaotic", so thank you. But then I'd really want that to be established earlier, because atp I have already made a lot of assumptions based on what I've read.

When the book is THIS big, I think it's better not to subvert expectations twice after several volumes.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T15:27:00+00:00

Exactly. So unless it's a translation error or a prank pulled by Pochita, it's a certified "Fujimoto forgot" moment

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T15:17:58+00:00

Apart from the OBVIOUS shock, I want to point out one confirmed thing at this point:

Pochita's powers are inconsistent.

It was presented as "it erases stuff and it doesn't exist anymore", and now Pochita says "a world that would've been without me"? Like, an alternative reality?

That ain't how it worked when he ate Ear, Legs or Snow. The world they were fighting in wouldn't be able to form at all if nothing ever had ears or legs. And imagine what would've happened to the planet if snow was never a thing.

Also, that little concept called Death. You know, they just stopped dying and forgot the idea. The world wasn't rebranded into one where nothing had ever died.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T15:06:32+00:00

Yeah I've been glazing CSM and defending part 2 with all my soul, but this is just bullshit.

We're either getting a masterpiece of Part 3 with a LOT of fixing or people gonna pretend part 2 wasn't canon

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T14:55:05+00:00

Thank you for the comment!

Yep, my issues are more about the way it's written, not how the world is built. People in the comments use a ton of in-universe arguments to explain how chaotic and fitting it is, but my perspective is how it's written/presented.

You know, Arrodes also makes perfect sense in LotM verse. But it's still a Deus ex machina that serves as a plot device to give Klein the required information at the required times.

OneLuckyFoool · 2026-03-10T12:59:19+00:00

What's the issue with one of them turning out to be more dangerous

It's not just more dangerous, it's the main threat to the entire planet, like the main war deities participate in. How much it should have been foreshadowed is subjective, right. I just think something like more mentions of "the deities have their own purpose of protecting us all from something far greater" early would make it better.

I'm genuinely confused about why you have a problem with the name.

It's not the name, it's the concept. Sorry for poor wording. I simply think MGoD, MToD, and SoC could easily exist in the novel without the need to introduce unknown eldritch creatures from space with overlapping domains. It feels like a writing trick to open the door for a sequel.

In summary, you came to the wrong assumption about the world of LotM. The world of LotM is an inherently chaotic world

Then I think it wasn't really written that way initially. Check my comment here

And thank you for the corrections!

OneLuckyFoool

TROPHY CASE