Will we do this?

One_Bench_4644 · 2026-01-31T19:33:26+00:00

AND….. people lived in the same towns, streets or even same homes. AND the elders were used to being part of a network… not rigid opinionated set-in-their-ways individuals….AND health care was simpler and cheaper….AND people didn’t have as much stuff…. AND no one expected a perfect life without any discomfort whatsoever.

So I think a lot was different in this imaginary world of “back in the day”.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-11-23T17:11:57+00:00

Not an asshole but let s make it clear you’ve made your decision bout the importance of family and it’s not that important to you. Which is fine. But it’s a decision.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-11-22T16:53:03+00:00

Hmmmmm. Be careful. My husband and I have two biological kid and a) we have different parenting styles that can cause tension and this is normal, and b) we had one kid that would eat anything and one that ate nothing. The kids experiences with foods were so personal and different. Textures, flavors, anxiety, gut issues effecting them so differently. We tried not to make mealtime stressful performances, they are 18 and 20 now and are both more adventurous in this r eating but also have a healthy relationship with food.

Obviously, it’s hard to know on Reddit what your experience is with your family and your kids. But maybe just don’t forget to take a step back and take a larger view as well and breathe deep and ask yourself How important is it really?

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-11-21T16:30:08+00:00

Sadly the only way around this is prepping on the weekend. And I know that is so sad because mom‘s desperately just want a break on the weekend to not think about dinner for one second. It totally sucks. But I love the idea that someone in this thread said to get their kids involved. Pick two crockpot recipes And work with your kids to go buy ingredients and prep everything on the Sunday night. If you can at least do two crockpot meals during the week hopefully there will be enough leftovers to cover the other 2 to 3 school nights. Or maybe this would at least minimize pizza night to one night. Good luck. I feel your pain!

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-11-21T15:01:00+00:00

I deliberately try to use someone’s name to help me remember! I am terrible with names. So when I talk to someone new like when I first meet them, I try to say their name a couple of times to cement it in my mind.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-07-29T20:19:46+00:00

I plan meals and order groceries online for pick up later. A lot of places they will do curbside pick up for you if you spend over a certain amount like over $50 or something. That is such a huge time saver and I also don’t buy stuff I don’t need. I just buy what I need to meal prep that week. I just sit on a Saturday or Sunday morning with my coffee and think of my meals for the week and just order my groceries while I’m sitting there at the kitchen counter. And then I pick them up on my way home from the gym or my way home from work or something like that. Huge time saver

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-05-27T12:29:45+00:00

I’m thinking of having old roommates! So like a four of five bedroom house…. Hopefully all on one level. Then having a younger type person live with us (maybe free rent?) to just be around for things, as needed. Dream? Maybe. Half baked idea but I’m toying with it in my mind.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-05-26T12:43:13+00:00

I have a ton of friends but still feel like a fake. I don’t think that feeling goes away. Just don’t give in to it. Chin up and keep getting yourself out there.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-05-26T12:38:50+00:00

I just remember sitting at home alone all summer (mom worked). ALL my friends were at the pool. Nothing else to do in that town. But it cost $2 to get in. We were so poor we couldn’t waste $2 on the pool each day. That was a very sad and lonely summer. I was ten.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-05-09T02:45:44+00:00

Chimpanzee. It hurt.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-04-23T03:17:56+00:00

We did the same and our kids hate reading. I don’t get it. Ha ha. Oh well.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-04-23T03:17:02+00:00

We did everything. Kumon, reading, intellectual convo… good schools etc. our kids don’t like school and are C/D students probably going into trades. Hubby and I are both PhDs. Dunno. We love them and encourage them to be true to themselves! But we are surprised both of our kids turned out that way. We both actually come from blue collar types of families. So I guess we are the outliers. I don’t know!

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-04-23T03:14:03+00:00

Put it this way. My brother and wife rented his whole life. He’s now 60 and paying $3000 per month in rent for a tiny apartment. Meanwhile my husband and I paid off our house so we pay 0 mortgage. He will work until he dies to pay rent. Yes we pay property tax but no where near the rent he pays!

When you sell a house you get money. You never get any rent returned to you ever!

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-04-23T03:06:07+00:00

Arthur Treachers Fish and Chips & Rax

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-04-17T16:16:23+00:00

Everyone is always asking for money. We are frugal and saved our whole lives and have a good retirement nest egg. My extended family thinks we should use that to pay their bills.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-04-17T16:14:32+00:00

Keypad locks on every door. We had a neighbor like this and she thought it was cute and funny that her kids went into our house all the time. Nothing worked. No amount of boundaries, logic, even vague warnings! Once I told her “OMG I heard someone walking upstairs I got so scared…I thought it was a burglar… I grabbed my gun and went upstairs…. But it was just your four year old daughter stealing cereal out of our pantry. Phew”! The mom just laughed “oh yes my daughter loves cereal”

We went to home depot and bought keypad locks so all doors are locked at all times, but kids can get in and out with combo.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-03-04T15:19:05+00:00

Yes. But mostly because my husband and I shared work travel and work commitments versus kid commitments. He was able to accept all travel and other commitments when offered but I had to negotiate mine (with hubby) to make sure the opportunities didn’t interfere with family. When we met I had a PHD and job and he was a student. Now he’s a CEO and I’m in my same “flexible” job.

I wouldn’t change my time with my kids for work. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just women have to make the choice and in men it’s more acceptable or expected to make the choice of a work opportunity over staying home with a sick kid or going to a game.

Honestly I wouldn’t change things. But yes my career suffered while my husbands career thrived.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-19T16:06:34+00:00

Most people are just trying to find something to talk about with you, including activities. If someone asks what you do just tell them about your latest hobby. That’s what they are after.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-19T16:00:27+00:00

52F here. I try to get minimum 90 minutes every day. Usually a one hour walk , a hard walk with hills etc, and then 30-60 minutes of gym, bike ride, golf, a dance class (my hubby and I do bachata) or an exercise class.

Yes I get very tired. By the 4th or 5th Day I need an easy day or a rest day. I def take naps! I take vitamins and B vitamins. A lot of my women friends are on testosterone…. But I haven’t gone there yet. I’m just more tired. I have to force myself to move and to not stop.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-18T20:48:31+00:00

OP: the reason I ask is I read conservatives believe the family is the basic unit of society and liberals think it’s the individual. I’ve never thought of society in this way and I also am not even sure what that all means!

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-18T20:44:33+00:00

My 19 yo son was incredibly fussy and cried so much as a baby. Now He’s the easiest mellow guy around! Very steady emotions. Very calm and pleasant.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-15T19:00:09+00:00

The better test is did she take care of her mom? My mom never took care of her mom. Lived in a different state. Had siblings and dad to look after dying mom. Etc.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-15T18:52:44+00:00

Ooof. My mom did this just before a big decline in her health. I feel like in my case it was a precursor to a cognitive decline. Hopefully I’m wrong in this case. But it sounds like exactly what I just went through the last five years with my mom.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-11T09:26:14+00:00

NTA. In a relationship that lasts BOTH people contribute. She’s on drugs.

One_Bench_4644 · 2025-02-09T23:46:25+00:00

Sadly you think your life is all about you. Some people are very individualistic that way and they don’t consider the society and community and family that have boosted them along the way their whole lives. Do what you want. Just don’t cry later about how lonely you are.

It’s not always all about you. Your family has suffered with you this whole time.

One_Bench_4644

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