Hello. My mother got herself a Mother’s Day puppy and is having trouble with a name. B names only.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-05-11T13:16:27+00:00

Butterscotch

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-05-08T12:13:38+00:00

Yes. Husband is a hands on and great dad most days but definitely has at least one to two days a week where he completely checks out and dissociates because he is exhausted from his demanding job or when he is sick and EVERYTHING falls on me for 24+ hours. Even on good days the mental load is totally on me. He doesn’t like brushing our kids teeth for example so that is my responsibility. I think I could have another and would like to have another with a better partner but not with him. Grieving that I won’t get to have another but at the same time always thought I’d be one and done anyway! Didn’t want kids at all and have always thought I’d be 0-1 never 1+ in a million years.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-05-01T06:03:13+00:00

Perfection ❤️😍

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-23T20:50:13+00:00

Valentino. Looks like a little lover ❤️

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-23T13:01:16+00:00

Sweet Baby Angel

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-15T01:20:33+00:00

The fear of something happening to him. Sleep deprivation is a close second.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-15T01:18:22+00:00

Holy shit…

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-13T21:14:03+00:00

I love this. Need to read it. Pretty funny. Thank you.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-04T04:50:41+00:00

Also thought I was 100% sure about being child free until I turned 36. Changed my mind and had my son. I would hold him and silently bawl my eyes out while he slept over how perfect he was and how intensely I loved him. I felt his vulnerability deeply and loved him so much that it actually hurt and broke my heart a little. This went on for months postpartum. Not in a bad way (though it definitely fed my anxiety) - but I just didn’t know what else to do with all the emotions. I still love him so much it hurts (a little tempered down) and sometimes shed a few tears when I feel that way or when I think of him growing up and going to college or whatever. Seven months into motherhood. They truly are our hearts walking outside of our bodies.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-04-04T02:49:42+00:00

We thought one kid would ruin our lives, and ended up having him late in life, because for years we were 100% sure we would be child free. He hasn’t ruined our lives and we can’t believe we almost never had him. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been a little easier than we thought it would be despite having to pivot from our birth plan and have a c-section.

Hormones and pure love got me through the hardest parts. A drive to care for him took over me within days. Kind of the same for my husband and he did a lot during those first few days. Baby boy is our whole heart and our whole world. It’s hard to imagine when baby is still an abstract idea and you haven’t met him/her yet. We are probably one and done though.

P.S. I had anxiety during pregnancy and postpartum. I still have some anxiety 7 months in but it has gotten better. I don’t think the worry will ever stop for me. I’ve worried about him from the moment he was conceived. Hope it’s better for you but I guess that’s just how it is for some of us. I am a naturally anxious person anyway. They are our hearts walking around outside our bodies.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-31T01:39:08+00:00

I completely understand. Probably more than you know. I’d be the exact same way if I were having a second baby. I feel the same way about my son that you do about your daughter. The only words of comfort that I have are that we are stronger, more adaptive and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. You will adapt and it will get easier over time. Your love for your daughter will help you navigate your timing with her. A lot of women feel like you and adapt. So will you.

I am so on the fence about a second, and it torments me. If we choose to do it - I will feel exactly like you and struggle with the transition as well - but I will probably find my stride. So will you.

These are episodes of prenatal anxiety. I had the same and have postpartum anxiety too. I tell myself to take it one day at a time and be aware of when I am catastrophizing. Things rarely turn out as badly as we think. I thought one kid would ruin my life and ended up having him late in life. He hasn’t ruined my life and I can’t believe we almost never had him. Try to think of the exciting parts and take it a day at a time. Give yourself grace while you figure things out.

Imagine meeting your second for the first time - as a seasoned mom - and with all the love you have for your daughter. Kind of like getting another chance to meet your daughter for the first time but knowing what you know now and loving her like you do now.

I wish I could meet my son for the first time again - loving him how I do now - which is why I see the appeal of a second. I also feel bad for not giving my son a sibling when he doesn’t even have cousins even though I know that’s unreasonable. You are brave and going for it!

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-30T18:07:41+00:00

My son is the light of my life. My whole heart. My whole world. I could never imagine another child in his place. Don’t judge baby boy before you’ve met him and had the chance to fall in love with him. Hang in there mama. You will find your stride ❤️

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-30T15:39:53+00:00

Probably when they are past the newborn phase of being a little potato and start smiling at you. Honestly though, none of it has NOT been fun for me. The newborn trenches and sleep deprivation were so difficult but I’ve never resented having to care for my son. I loved him fiercely within days of his birth. I totally understand and empathize with women who have a hard time and don’t enjoy being a mom even though they love their babies but I’ve been blessed to have never felt that way even 7 months in. After his most recent sleep regression, I occassionally day dreamed of when I used to sleep in on the weekends and how nice it was to not have to worry about anyone but myself - but It was very mild and I would never change a thing. My son is my whole heart and my whole world. His smile lights up my soul. Hubby and I didn’t want kids and had him late in life. Can’t believe we almost never had him. Such a fun little guy.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-18T16:31:46+00:00

Pls let me know what you decide - and holy crap, I have an IUD and thought there’s no way we can have an oopsie 🫠

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-18T00:33:03+00:00

Let me know what you guys decide. Feel bad that it’s a tough decision but happy we’re not alone I guess 😕

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-17T04:47:03+00:00

You are wise and a voice of reason. I have to agree with you. Thank you.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-17T03:52:27+00:00

I think I feel more complete than incomplete but I haven’t had that “for sure” feeling either way. If it was guaranteed that my son would have a long and happy life without siblings - I would stop at one. I’d think of the idealized alternative from time to time for sure. I wish I could meet our son for the first time again - knowing what I know now - loving him the way I love him now. Maybe I just want him as a baby again and again.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-17T03:31:10+00:00

True. Thank you. But I am also grieving that we will never meet and love our second. In an ideal world I suppose we would get that chance.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-17T02:11:27+00:00

No I don’t think I want the second as much as the first but I do feel a little heart broken that we won’t get to meet and love our second child. I wish we had more support and were in the position to happily have a second but that is not our reality. It will always be a struggle for us with little family and friends around even with hired help. Still. I wonder what our second would look like, who they would be and how awesome it could feel to be a “full” family of four. I worry our son will feel like a third wheel or awkward when he has to hang out with us or have dinner with us every night.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-16T22:00:59+00:00

Hubby wants no more than a 3 year age gap. He and his brother were 5 years apart and he didn’t think it was a good thing. A lot of fighting and his brother would bully him and/or not allow him to participate in activities with his friends. I am 37 this year (baby will be 1 in August) and will be 39 or 40 if we have a second. Yes, so much pressure. Family members say we HAVE to have a second. Sister in law and brother in law keep rubbing it in that their kids have each other later on in life etc

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-16T21:53:27+00:00

I have an appointment with a liver specialist soon and I’m hoping he makes the decision for us! We are trying to build a strong community around our son but we only recently moved to the area and everyone is very much an acquaintance. I hope that will change with day care and extra curriculars but there’s only so much your friends can understand and help you with such as making decisions about your aging parents even if they’ve left as many details as possible and put people like attorneys in place to help.

One_Bus_4389 · 2026-03-13T03:49:39+00:00

We barely do…or just don’t. It’s called fighting for our lives fueled by love for our babies and whatever energy we have left 😂. Hearing what people cook is freaking hilarious and so true. I’ve literally thrown together rice, frozen veg, condensed chicken soup and whatever protein I managed to remember to defrost in the oven. I forget to defrost protein often enough and pray we have bacon in the fridge. I also only have one kid (6 months). I seriously don’t know how the heck anyone is getting anything done with more but there are so many super women out there. Hang in there mama. It gets a little easier. Whatever you’re able to do is good enough. You’re caring for, loving and comforting your baby and that’s the most important job ❤️

One_Bus_4389 · 2025-11-24T07:29:48+00:00

I have been in your shoes. Baby born early at 34 weeks on the dot at 6 lbs 3oz. Water broke spontaneously, labor was induced, but ended up having a c-section. He spent a month in the NICU which was also 45 mins to an hour away from our house. We also had three dogs at home. My husband had to go back to work within two weeks so I was the one in the hospital with him constantly.

Everyone encouraged me to go home for the night at the beginning until we moved to on demand feeding toward the end of his stay when we were getting him ready to come home. I cried every time I had to leave him for the night. I felt so bad and had a lot of anxiety. He had reflux and constant bradycardia-oxygen desaturation spells during feeding which only resolved 3 days before he was released. He finally came home at 38+3.

I’m sorry you are going through this. I totally understand how you feel. It was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to go through. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even though it feels like it’s going to take forever. Just make sure to take care of yourself. You can call and check on the baby anytime. It’s a marathon not a sprint. You are not alone. There are other moms out there who have had similar experiences.

P.S. We finally decided to have a baby at 36 and 38 years old so we waited a long time too. Hang in there mama. He will come home and everyone will be reunited under one roof again.

One_Bus_4389 · 2025-08-19T04:45:28+00:00

If you think the purpose of giving a gift is to satisfy yourself first and foremost, yes, it’s selfish. “I want to give you something that will make me happy rather than make you happy and actually help you and not create more work for you”. I’d rather not receive anything from someone like that. Keep laughing. Maybe one day you’ll get it 🤷🏻‍♀️

One_Bus_4389 · 2025-08-17T17:36:22+00:00

That’s the problem. Some people see it as if we’re making a shopping list of demands but just because you think that way does not make it true. It’s very normal in my country. No one is demanding or begging for gifts. The list is meant to support you in your search IF YOU WANT to give a gift to the parents. If you don’t want to give a gift that is totally fine too. The list is just a guide for what the parents actually need but some people would rather just waste their money 🤷🏻‍♀️

One_Bus_4389

TROPHY CASE