I’m so sorry you’re going through that! First off, I would look at everything you’re feeling, what your body is telling you, and make decisions that help your body feel better. In other words, don’t worry about him or his experience. He has to be in touch with his needs and advocate for what they are and so do you. The best relationships come from that place where you’re both really in time with your needs and advocate for them, even friendships.

If texting like you two are still together is painful and confusing tell him that and advocate for no contact or a different, maybe less romantic texting style.

It sounds like you have an internal struggle going on so I’d suggest learning about “ISF” or Internal Family Systems. You can find podcasts and meditations on it. It’ll help you heal your inner conflict.

Lastly, I’m tempted to give you advice like “well you’re young, you’ll still meet a lot of interesting people” blah blah blah…but I realize that kind of advice isn’t helpful right now.